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A Briefing
Posted by
Ashers86
,
05 March 2009
·
63 views
I have not been on the website as much recently... although I noticed it's mostly because I'm trying to avoid the discussions around IBS.
I went to my follow up appointment with my GI on Tuesday.... Needless to say, it's the end of our relationship...
I can't say I'm surprised, but disappointed that there's absolutely nothing left for me to do. I do have an internal hemorrhoid (although treatment of it was never suggested) a little higher up in, and "tortuous sigmoid"; which is the cause for the agonizing pain and the reason why it's so hard for me to go. Even when I need to, it takes a lot of time and pushing to move anything through the back area of the colon. As the GI explained, I basically have more twists and turns than I should, which is why I seem constipated even though I can go daily... I just have a much longer transit time, and there's nothing I can do about it - not even a diet change (more fibre, etc.) will help.
Basically, I've been advised to keep up with the daily stool softeners, and take glycerin suppositories when needed. He was about to suggest the suppositories when I told him I already have them at home - and used one the morning of my colonoscopy to ensure I was empty.... which, I apparently wasn't. Of course, he said that was because of the sigmoid area.... so yes, there's an idea on the effect it has on me (I emptied out the day before the procedures... couldn't go at all the day of but apparently he had to clean me out).
Besides that, all I can do is go on with life, and try to take care of the anxiety problem, since it's the obvious trigger anymore...
On advise of my psychiatrist and the nurse in the program, I have declared a Medical Leave of Absence from work (which sucks because I JUST got offered another job from home that was 3 hours a day and shift work in the afternoon! Had to quit before I even started!) so that I can enroll in the hospital's outpatient mental day program. It's at least 6 weeks, on Monday - Friday's from 9am til 2pm. It's basically school - I have to bring a binder and pen, etc., and there's 4-5 classes a day. The only exciting part about that is that there is a CBT class, and there are some interesting classes like Goal Setting and Stress Management that I'm *hoping* I may benefit from. I'm not all that pleased about going (I fear more than anything that I will pass out during morning classes, LOL), but am willing to at least take something in from it. I just hope it's actually informative and worth it...
So I applied for sickness benefits from Employment Insurance - hopefully I can get that... my shrink wrote me off until June so that I can do the program and basically take the time to "start anew", but the biggest issue has been how I can still get enough income to pay my own bills during this time. It's just bad timing because we're moving at the end of this month (so moving while I'm doing the program)... but then again, that could also be good timing for the end result. More than anything, I'm hoping to be able to 'feel' like I can finally start my own life now that I've actually moved AWAY from my parents, and with some help in the anxiety/depression department, perhaps figure out what I want in life.
I am still very much considering the business idea.... After looking around for funding while I'm doing the program, I've come across a lot of grant opportunities that are available from the government for people with disabilities that want to either start a career (but need training/school) or start their own business. That would just work out good for me if I can take advantage of that - while I'm still debating WHAT type of business I want to do, I do recognize the reason WHY I want to do it...
I'm just someone who'd rather be in control of things. Lately I've noticed that I'm finding that some of the businesses I work for are completely unorganized and I want to tell THEM what to do to run it better. Same comes to completing tasks - I also make sure that I cover all bases and do get upset if anyone else edits any lists (for example) that I've worked on in fear that they may have half-assedly put in the information, therefore, it's not accurate. I just do not find that acceptable, and I am a sort of perfectionist when it comes to presentation of information for a business.
Either way, I think that because I feel as so, that I most definitely have the drive (at least) to run my own business. However, especially with today's economy, I just don't know what kind of business to do. I do know that I want to be able to do it out of home, and have considered just having an online store. It's just that in this instance, I really do wish that perhaps there was some skill/hobby of mine that I could put into a business. I did briefly consider scrapbooking - it's a more recent hobby I picked up... but I can't even say I'm that good at it considering the fact that there are some HARDCORE scrapbookers out there
. But yeah... ideas are welcome in the meantime while I'm figuring things out.
*sigh* So yes, that's pretty much the jist as of lately... I have been told (suggested, more or less, by my parents) that I do not have IBS... that I merely had this colon problem and the rest was all an exaggeration of my mind. I can accept the suggestion, but like I told them in response - it doesn't explain the year of explosive diarrhea after eating that started all this. The pain and colon weren't an issue until about a year and a half later when my change in meds caused me to switch to constipation. I know my primary problem is pain/discomfort at this point... and I seem to more or less just have problems with BMs themselves and abdominal cramps that come and go.... I can't recall the last time I full out had a flare up. But it still doesn't explain how the D started suddenly and flipped my life overnight... and it still doesn't explain why I feel so sick after eating certain foods...
*sigh* Can never win with anyone... I just hope it isn't all my mind for Jeff's sake - he's being an absolute saint and is the only one truly here for me, and supporting us financially. He doesn't need anymore games, just as I don't.
So... that is that in a nutshell. I start this coming Monday with the program... hoping to just take it easy in the meantime while doing that, as long as something works out in the end. That's all I can really hope for since the GI did tell me to live with it and that MAYBE in 5-7 years I might take a turn for the better....
*shrugs*
I went to my follow up appointment with my GI on Tuesday.... Needless to say, it's the end of our relationship...
I can't say I'm surprised, but disappointed that there's absolutely nothing left for me to do. I do have an internal hemorrhoid (although treatment of it was never suggested) a little higher up in, and "tortuous sigmoid"; which is the cause for the agonizing pain and the reason why it's so hard for me to go. Even when I need to, it takes a lot of time and pushing to move anything through the back area of the colon. As the GI explained, I basically have more twists and turns than I should, which is why I seem constipated even though I can go daily... I just have a much longer transit time, and there's nothing I can do about it - not even a diet change (more fibre, etc.) will help.
Basically, I've been advised to keep up with the daily stool softeners, and take glycerin suppositories when needed. He was about to suggest the suppositories when I told him I already have them at home - and used one the morning of my colonoscopy to ensure I was empty.... which, I apparently wasn't. Of course, he said that was because of the sigmoid area.... so yes, there's an idea on the effect it has on me (I emptied out the day before the procedures... couldn't go at all the day of but apparently he had to clean me out).
Besides that, all I can do is go on with life, and try to take care of the anxiety problem, since it's the obvious trigger anymore...
On advise of my psychiatrist and the nurse in the program, I have declared a Medical Leave of Absence from work (which sucks because I JUST got offered another job from home that was 3 hours a day and shift work in the afternoon! Had to quit before I even started!) so that I can enroll in the hospital's outpatient mental day program. It's at least 6 weeks, on Monday - Friday's from 9am til 2pm. It's basically school - I have to bring a binder and pen, etc., and there's 4-5 classes a day. The only exciting part about that is that there is a CBT class, and there are some interesting classes like Goal Setting and Stress Management that I'm *hoping* I may benefit from. I'm not all that pleased about going (I fear more than anything that I will pass out during morning classes, LOL), but am willing to at least take something in from it. I just hope it's actually informative and worth it...
So I applied for sickness benefits from Employment Insurance - hopefully I can get that... my shrink wrote me off until June so that I can do the program and basically take the time to "start anew", but the biggest issue has been how I can still get enough income to pay my own bills during this time. It's just bad timing because we're moving at the end of this month (so moving while I'm doing the program)... but then again, that could also be good timing for the end result. More than anything, I'm hoping to be able to 'feel' like I can finally start my own life now that I've actually moved AWAY from my parents, and with some help in the anxiety/depression department, perhaps figure out what I want in life.
I am still very much considering the business idea.... After looking around for funding while I'm doing the program, I've come across a lot of grant opportunities that are available from the government for people with disabilities that want to either start a career (but need training/school) or start their own business. That would just work out good for me if I can take advantage of that - while I'm still debating WHAT type of business I want to do, I do recognize the reason WHY I want to do it...
I'm just someone who'd rather be in control of things. Lately I've noticed that I'm finding that some of the businesses I work for are completely unorganized and I want to tell THEM what to do to run it better. Same comes to completing tasks - I also make sure that I cover all bases and do get upset if anyone else edits any lists (for example) that I've worked on in fear that they may have half-assedly put in the information, therefore, it's not accurate. I just do not find that acceptable, and I am a sort of perfectionist when it comes to presentation of information for a business.
Either way, I think that because I feel as so, that I most definitely have the drive (at least) to run my own business. However, especially with today's economy, I just don't know what kind of business to do. I do know that I want to be able to do it out of home, and have considered just having an online store. It's just that in this instance, I really do wish that perhaps there was some skill/hobby of mine that I could put into a business. I did briefly consider scrapbooking - it's a more recent hobby I picked up... but I can't even say I'm that good at it considering the fact that there are some HARDCORE scrapbookers out there
. But yeah... ideas are welcome in the meantime while I'm figuring things out.*sigh* So yes, that's pretty much the jist as of lately... I have been told (suggested, more or less, by my parents) that I do not have IBS... that I merely had this colon problem and the rest was all an exaggeration of my mind. I can accept the suggestion, but like I told them in response - it doesn't explain the year of explosive diarrhea after eating that started all this. The pain and colon weren't an issue until about a year and a half later when my change in meds caused me to switch to constipation. I know my primary problem is pain/discomfort at this point... and I seem to more or less just have problems with BMs themselves and abdominal cramps that come and go.... I can't recall the last time I full out had a flare up. But it still doesn't explain how the D started suddenly and flipped my life overnight... and it still doesn't explain why I feel so sick after eating certain foods...
*sigh* Can never win with anyone... I just hope it isn't all my mind for Jeff's sake - he's being an absolute saint and is the only one truly here for me, and supporting us financially. He doesn't need anymore games, just as I don't.
So... that is that in a nutshell. I start this coming Monday with the program... hoping to just take it easy in the meantime while doing that, as long as something works out in the end. That's all I can really hope for since the GI did tell me to live with it and that MAYBE in 5-7 years I might take a turn for the better....
*shrugs*
Sorry to hear that you might have to wait so long just for some improvement. Five to seven years... did he say why that amount of time might produce some positive changes? I'll confess I don't know much about your condition... which does seem to be somewhat different than the "traditional" IBS that most of us have. I was under the impression that IBS was diagnosed based on the fact that there were no structural abnormalities; but in your case it seems that there are, which maybe means you have something even more severe than traditional IBS... maybe it's a condition that progresses from IBS? Or maybe you have "both" conditions (which would explain why certain foods bother you, etc.?) I get the impression that not too much research has been done regarding these types of conditions, as evidenced by doctor's unwillingness to understand and/or treat them.
Still, at least you're going to hopefully going to get the help you need to control your anxiety. And maybe when that happens you'll start regaining control over the IBS? I can say that I do think getting rid of stressful situations does help a lot; at the beginning of this semester I was having constant stomach pain, but now that I'm pretty much halfway done and I understand most of what is required of me, I have been much better. So, maybe the same will be true for you; once you learn some good techniques for taking care of anxiety then things will start to turn around for you...
Again, I wouldn't really take too much of what your GI doctor said as literal truth. Everyone's body is different... how he could say that you wouldn't get better for at least 5-7 years when it doesn't even really sound like this is anything he has seen much of/knows much about ....
Anyway, best of luck in the program.