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cleung's Blog



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Depression kicks in again

Posted by cleung , 02 January 2012 · 319 views

Last post was Oct 9, that means I haven't have a major episode for three months which is amazing news. I think this is the first post I made here not because I have a painful eposide but I have painful dose of hopelessness feelings.  For days / weeks I haven't been able to do anything even I know that I have to get something done for my client like...


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Another episode, trying very hard to pick myself up

Posted by cleung , 09 October 2011 · 314 views

I hate to be a downer, but really I do feel like my life is somehow over... sometimes I think if it is really over it would be better.  Last time I posted was end of July, it is Oct thanksgiving weekend today. I am still out of work, manage to get a few more small clients, do a lot more socialization to hand out business cards, fired my employees, and doing...


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Feeling defeated, desolate and hopeless

Posted by cleung , 26 July 2011 · 580 views

Since my surgery last in late Oct, I was getting better after two months.  Since then I have two episodes, I decided to just tough it out instead of going to the ER again.  Now I am out of work, my business is crumbling and I am financially ruin. Just this few months my life seems to have change drastically beyond my control.  After the surgery, for the...


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Another episode - mild

Posted by cleung , 12 March 2011 · 332 views

After the endo surgery in Nov, and finally I feel relief for the last two months, I thought wow, I can finally live my life!  Other than no period, I actually feel good.  I have never feel so good in my entire life, maybe since I have my period at age of 10 I was already having endo. But good time doesn't seem to last :(

I have been constipating...


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Post surgery diary, constipation still persists

Posted by cleung , 14 November 2010 · 358 views

Oct 27 - bowel prep.
Oct 28 - I went in for surgery, need to stay overnight. I wasn't able to eat anything at all.  
Oct 29 - I was in the hospital in a lot of pain.  I wasn't able to eat but still tried to eat something.  I had an apple juice in the morning, my mom gave me some plain pork soup and congee, but I just cannot eat them without feeling...


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Another Severe Episode, different symtoms

Posted by cleung , 13 October 2010 · 932 views

Monday was Thanksgiving.  I was very careful at my hubby's family turkey dinner the night before.  Monday morning started off to be a good day for me, I felt so great that we were planning to go out for all-you-can-eat japanese.  I think it was the orange I ate that day around 3pm.  It must be old, it was very dry.  I ate it anyway because I wanted...


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Diarrhea last night after severe episode the day before

Posted by cleung , 18 May 2010 · 455 views

It is very old and I didn't expect that at all.  After Sunday's severe episode, I felt all tired out and exhausted, I decided to call in sick and stay home for a day.  Just as I thought I was able to relax, the night didn't come good.  I had a few non-salted plain crackers during the day, and I have plain congee with 3 very little piece of beef...


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Severe Episode Yesterday

Posted by cleung , 17 May 2010 · 187 views

Yesterday was a very painful day.  The pain came at around 3pm from mild to excruciating pain to mild pain again till around 9pm, usually the pain goes away but not this time.  Everytime I move around my sweat and pain comes back, and that last till 12am.   The very severe shape pain last for about 2 hours. And I vomited very badly during the 2 hours.  I...


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Feeling like a Loser, need new friends

Posted by cleung , 11 April 2010 · 364 views

My major contract with my current client is over in two months.  This contract has lasted for 5 years! I remember, when I was working with kpmg as a senior consultant living a miserable live, I vowed to myself that by 30 years old, I have to have my own business.  I did and it failed.  The reason I failed was because I was young, inexperience, and quit...


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Holiday season = painful season

Posted by cleung , 24 December 2009 · 182 views

It is nice to finally find time to update this blog again.  Finally my gyno are going to do something to remove my endo on my bladder, and hopefully that will "cure" my IC.  The bad news is that they strongly believe I do not have endo on my bowel and my severe bowel pain probably cause by IBS, not endo, so the surgery wouldn't do anything to...






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