The effects of ibs on a woman

So it has been a long while since I have last been on here, and while for most ppl it means that there are fewer flare ups or that they have gone away all together, but that has not been the case. While I am not dead, I have been sick for days on end. I caught a cold from my family that spiraled into a sinus infection that will never end. My stomach cannot handle the mucus drainage that is in my system so my stomach is flipping out, along with normal stress, but I will get into that later. I have been so sick that I have lost weight, I am not sure how much but I am aware that it was a decent amount, unfortunately it was all in my boobs, but I'm just being a paranoid girl lol. My hair is falling out, and when ever I notice it, it sends me into a panic that of course upsets my stomach. My nails, that were finally growing, are thin and constantly chipping and breaking. Now I am a typical girl who loves her appearance and when I am all put together and have my "war paint" on, I feel a bit better than if I hadn't and to have these little inconveniences occur, it just slowly tears away at me.
I recently got a gorgeous and amazingly sweet boyfriend who loves me deeply and loves my body the way it is and yet I cannot let him get close to me right now because I feel these little things wrong and I am not comfortable with him so close to my "problems". The sad thing is, is that when I don't feel good, as I have mentioned before, I will basically do a version of self mutilation; I pick at my nails. I used to bite them, but it is kind of unsanitary to do that so I will pick at them and peel them off, so not only are my nails chipping and breaking, but I pick at them too and I keep doing it until they bleed basically.
Even though I have my moments, I am happiest with him and my friends. They know I am sick, and know I have my moments and for the most part, can handle when I have my flare ups and know that when it gets to a certain point, I need to get out of whatever situation we are in and I need them to relax and get me whatever it is I need at that moment. They are my lifeline basically.
My job and family know what I deal with, but either they forget, dont understand or care. I am currently in the process of finding a new job bc my current one is too stressful for me and I do not make enough money to take care of everything that I need to, but my fear is that I will never be able to.
I put on a poker face to assure people that I am alright, but inside, I am a wreck, but I don't think I would change this experience, as insane and painful that it is. I am stronger, mature, appreciative, aware and so many other things because of this. So to you who are having a flare up, to you who is having a bad day, to you who has hit bottom, dont forget all the great things you have accomplished. You wake up every day with your struggles and still manage to survive and thrive. Yes you have your days, but you are still living and breathing. You are amazing.