Thu, 24 Sep 2009 20:14:47 -0500 ibsbb@ibsgroup.org (IBS Self Help and Support Group Forums - IBSgroup.org) IP.Blog 60 Anxiety and Depression
Since the day before yesterday, I've been feeling extremely tired and depressed. I lost interest in the things I usually love to do (yes, even the computer, even the Wii games) and wasn't even able to carry out simple housework. Then, I was further upset because I didn't do all the things I planned to do. As I struggled to get out of the couch to make dinner, it suddenly struck me that I didn't want to sink further down and I wanted to do something to stop myself from going into this downward spin.

I looked into my medicine cabinet and then realized, for my own reason (and a totally legitimate and doctor approved reason), I have planned not to take antidepressants for the time being. And besides, my old pills have past the expiration date. Sigh. what do I do now???

Anyways, I somehow finished cooking and realized how dark it was in the room (and outside, too). So, I turned on the brightest light in the house and then some more. True, these artificial lights aren't the same as the happy shining sun, but they are better than having to be in a dark environment. So, that gave me some confidence in gaining some control.

When Hubby came back home, I mentioned how things changed for me in the past couple of days. A believer of physical exerices, he immediately said, "Hon, drag yourself to the loft and turn on the Wii game. After a couple of games, you'll feel a little better." I was cynical and said, "Yeah, right, here we go again, exercise cures all. I don't see how it helps, I usually lose the tenis games. And I hate losing." He said, "Then try the bowling game." "My level is so high that now every time I play, my score decreases if I don't match my best." "So what? Just go and pour your unhappiness out at your 'opponents'. Try it!" "O...K..."

So I went, played 3 single games of tenis. To my total surprise I won 2 out of the 3 and finally reached pro level. And truth is, although I didn't feel I lashed out my unhappiness on my pixel opponents (that part is what people without depression don't understand, it's not like if it was lashed out (even if it could be lashed out), it would go away) and I still felt/feel faraway from my usual self, I did feel a little less depressed. It's like the game *is* helpful in some way. So, maybe it's worth playing a little everyday after all.

Today it's still gray and sullen with rains here and there, but I got up a teeny little happier than yesterday, although I still physically have this pressure in my chest feeling. I don't know, I guess I've decided to give keeping (or forcing myself to keep) as active as I possibly can a try. Maybe it'll work? Hopefully? And I'm definitely turning on the lights.

This SAD stuff has definitely affected my gut -- as soon as I woke up this morning, I was hit by this bad pain and stayed in bed unable to move a single movement for at least half an hour. Luckily my BMs are still formed. Bananas and crackers really helped. And the reflexology pain/D reduction points were helpful, too. Although when it happens it still happens, I guess now at least I feel I have some ways to deal with it.

As a side note, interestingly, I picked up the same reflexology book at breakfast and found that there's a point for relieving mild depression (I guess mine is mild?), too! I'll give it a try and see how much it can help.

And this morning I saw this TCM show on TV and there's something that's really interesting -- ECIWO (embryo containing the information of the whole organism, which, btw has NOTHING to do with stem cell research, is termed as "holographic unit" in the past). Apparently it provides an important modern theoretical foundation for reflexology. That's really interesting! Maybe I could google something out and read more about this. LOL, as I'm writing at this moment, I realized that maybe I am on the right track! I'm feeling like I've gotten at least some energy to find some interest in this :-)

Anyways, I'll see if I could nail this and stop myself from becoming as much affected by this SAD thing as before. Fingers crossed.
Now what's with this bad pressure in my chest, like someone put a big rock on it?? This is something new -- I never felt like this during previous years' SAD bouts. No it's not my GERD, and no I didn't have insomnia this past couple weeks. And last checkup my heart is functioning well. I just really hope this could go away!]]> Thu, 24 Sep 2009 10:56:00 -0500 Exploring Self-Empowerment
I'm also adding some explanations to the pics. I understand that everyone's body is different and there are a multitude of different reasons for the same symptom, still, I feel it's prolly worth a try if anyone's interested.

In TCM, one of the reasons for pain (as well as for a certain type of insomnia) is obstruction at a tiniest microscopic level. So when this happens the "transportation system" of the body on the microscopic level isn't working smoothly. (This "microscopic level" can't be equated to anything that's discussed in the Euro-American tradition, as it is a description of not only the cells etc but also the workings of various functions in relation to various environments). Anyways, beyond the scope of this blog entry. What's important is, pressing certain points on the body can improve this "transportation system" and makes it less obstructed and therefore reducing pain.

Now one reason for peroid pain is explained in TCM as in lay person's terms "blood flow meeting obstruction" (Note that "blood flow" can't be taken literally, as obviously there's no artery obstruction or anything like that, but rather, it metaphorically refers to a set of inner workings of this function of the body). [A side note, another more widely known reason for period pain in TCM is "coldness of the body", but if you're like me, tried the heating pad and it doesn't work well or even makes it worse, then this is probably not the reason for your pain]. So the pics and explanations below has helped me feel less "obstructed"/bloated and much less painful.

Set 1: Press and rub these two points on both arms and legs for 5 minutes each (no particular order as to which one is first, I usually starts with the arm). These points (esp. the ones on the arm) when you press/rub them, they are so incredibly sore and it takes determinations to go on. If it feels like that, then you've found the right spot! And do make sure you press as hard as you can tolerate and massage. The arm ones feel more toward the outer side than on the inner surface. I personally find I'd rather go through this reflexology pain than the period pain. Pic shown below [Important: I was brain-damanged and made a mistake on the leg on Set 1. This Set 1 Pic has been changed. Please see below]:


Set 2: Same side as Set 1. Inner side of forearm and inner side of leg. They are also supposed to feel very sore. Personally I feel more painful pressing the lower point on the leg than the upper point in Set 1. But everyone's different. Just keep pressing/rubbing for 5 min. on each point and both arms and legs. Pic below:


Set 3: Note that this time for the ones on the feet (should press on both feet), it's the outer side. Again, these should be very sore. And if they feel that way, you've found the right places! Keep on at them for 5 minutes. Pic below:


Now after this whole self-administered session, I typically feel a lot better and much less painful. I'd still be tired and sleepy than if it's not the time of month, but for me it's much better than not being able to sit/lay still or sleep or do anything else. If you could get some sleep after this, it helps even more.

Interestingly this does seem to help my IBS in some way, esp. during my period. My guess is, for me personally, the extreme peroid pain has made the whole lower ab overly irritated including the colon. So when the period cramps get some relief, so does the colon.

And this plus a few other spots are also starting to help my severe chronic insomnia -- I guess I'm a classic example of an obstructed microscopic system, LOL. But hey whatever works

Hehehe, now I realized that this is getting too long. So, I'll end this entry here and anyone who's interested in giving it a try, hope it works well for you, too! (If you can't find the exact points to press/rub because of the poor quality of these drawings, please DO let me know and I'll see if I could get some better ones. Thanks!)

Hugs,
Cherrie]]> Mon, 07 Sep 2009 09:38:00 -0500 Exploring Self-Empowerment
Sounds daunting. And it was. And so I was so totally very very surprised (but happily surprised) that I've started to get more control of my symptoms (if u exclude the little insomnia backlash the past week after the book's done - prolly b/c of the over-excitement about it being done, LOL)! I know I esp. in the past year or so mainly came here to complain -- but behind the scene the fact is that I was also trying my best to find good ways to manage. Anyways, since I have other reasons to not take antidepressants or antispasmodics and in all, to come off as much meds as possible. I kinda had to find less traditional ways.

As I wrote before, I started experimenting on reflexology and that in turn has gotten me read more about TCM. So, as I submerged myself totally in the book I was translating, getting into the original author's head through her words and becoming the characters in the book, when there's time to briefly re-surface as myself, I re-discovered a whole new world of a drastically different medical (as well as philosophical) tradition.

And through this, I've also learned how to manage my IBS and my general health better. So now, as I just posted in reply to a thread on the forums, my IBS has now changed from moderate with severe episodes to very mild. Although it does act up once or twice a month and I still have to go more than once everyday, but it's formed and most of the time no C or D. The level of pain has dropped a lot -- I still have pain, but it's not daily and not multiple times in a given day anymore. Getting to this point has not been easy and it's a very delicate balancing act to stay on the healthy side. Any teeny-tiny thing or nothing at all can throw it out of balance. I still need to stay on my safe foods (which fortunately at this point is expanding), keep as good a sleep schedule as possible, keep my reflexology sessions every day, and try my best not to over-stretch my luck to avoid the IBS (or any other health issues) acting up. And the season's changing again soon - so I'm resuming my meditation (hopefully daily) to keep myself off the SAD stuff... It's like I'm just so busy maintaining my body than doing anything else, LOL! But hey, if it works most of the time, then it's worth it

One thing that's worth mentioning is that the reflexology thing really does wonders to period pain -- and a large part of my IBS is also hormone related. Just one self-administered session on my first and second day, the pain level drops considerably. I mean, it's still a little painful and still uncomfortable, but I can totally live with and even enjoy life with that level as compared to my previous unbearable extreme pain. And that kinda helped with my bowel in ways I can't explain -- I still get loose and looser than usual, but no watery D anymore. And now I still don't really look forward to my period (as much as I understand it helps to be possitive about it and appreciate it as a symbol of womanhood, lol), but I don't shudder at the very thought of my next period anymore.

It's not easy to put down everything here in this one single entry. I'll prolly write more about where to press and rub on the body to reduce IBS and period pain soon when I get the pics drawn (hard to explain in words, so). It's just too important and worthy to keep it to myself.

Hugs,
Cherrie
(Edited spelling n grammar, lol, u can totally c I'm brain-damanged after the work's done, LOL )]]> Fri, 04 Sep 2009 09:41:00 -0500 ... Sigh, I hate that feeling in my stomach... What a shame I love the Wii fit/sports games... but now i just can't... Must be all the stress from work I'm under, or the rainy damp weather, or both... Ouch... ... Maybe I'll still try and see if I can play a lil later (just love the games tooo much, LOL)...]]> Wed, 13 May 2009 15:24:00 -0500 . And I've become a lil bit of C than D -- wouldn't complain about the solid BM's if it's not for the pain, always worse when BM's are solid/C-ish... Still multiple BM's, so no luck there reducing the number...

After a search on google, I think now I understand why my dr. was suggesting an ear-nose-throat specialist if the antibiotics and antiviral combined doesn't work... And to my great surprise, I realized after reading all that info that having blood in the nasal mucus every single day is not normal -- it's been like this for me for years and I thought it was normal and that everybody was like this -- I even told my dr. that my nose felt fine and there's nothing out of the ordinary, because I didn't know! It's a bit surprising to discover that it actually isn't... And then I asked Hubby who has a nose problem and always sneezes, blows his nose, and clears his throat and he said, "no, I don't have a trace of blood from there!" ... I mean, whoa, hopefully it won't be like what my dr. was thinking!

Call him now? I'm not sure -- last time after seeing him, an appt. was scheduled early next month... so is it really necessary to call him up with my new "realization"??? I don't know... Is it really necessary? Or am I just being hypochondriacal? I really don't know!

]]> Wed, 22 Apr 2009 09:43:00 -0500
Still have a one-day course of anti-viral pills to go. Fingers crossed that it could work... Otherwise... not sure if I'd call my dr. right after the meds are done or just wait a couple more weeks for the next scheduled appt.??? ... ]]> Mon, 20 Apr 2009 13:07:00 -0500
I won't have Internet access tomorrow, so have a great rest of Friday and a wonderful Sat. everyone!
:-)

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Finally feeling a little better today! I found that eating something salty (not sweet) to go with the meds make the nausea much better -- at least it's true for today.

It's so hard juggling so many pills (LOL, now I feel like 100 yrs old! ). I have to get up very early to take the Protonix. And then go back to bed for about an hour cos I'm still too sleepy. But of course I can't fall asleep anymore, because my gut will start feeling painful once I wake up and get out of bed for even once in the morning. Then an hour later I get up again and take my antibiotics with some food. Then the nausea kicks in and so is the IBS stuff... and by late morning when all this is almost done, I'm so so exhausted... Thank goodness today the nausea's not that bad. And b/c of the antibiotics, there's stuff that i can't take for now cos there will be an interaction if i do...

Ugh, i just wish this antibioctcs stuff can be done and it'd better be effective... so i don't have to go through other tests etc etc... I mean, except for my IBS (which i know is chronic), I usually have confidence that all other non-chronic illnesses that I get can be cured and that I can deal with my health problems; so, while I do vent, I'm usually not afraid/worried about myself, but this time for some reason I am really concerned... It doesn't feel good to not have that confidence anymore and to be kinda afraid...

Pray that everything turn out OK......]]> Fri, 17 Apr 2009 08:35:00 -0500

Frankly I'm not sure what to think at the moment. I guess I'll stick with the meds for the full course and see what happens. Just wish the side effects aren't so yucky. Sigh. I hate the feeling when my stomach turns

Deep breath......]]> Tue, 14 Apr 2009 17:34:00 -0500

We'll see what happens after the treatment...

I should say, though, that my family dr. is so cool -- he listens to me, answers all my questions and addresses all my concerns, and never makes me feel rushed. He's always straight forward but reassuring at the same time. He's also so considerate and unassuming. I wish all my dr.s are like him.

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Sigh, don't want to make another entry about this anymore. So just using this old entry for an update. Suddenly feeling extremely neaseated after taking the meds. and it just won't go away whatever i try. ... I was really hoping that the antibiotics won't have the cummulative effect like some other meds I took before, but i guess i really don't have that luck. Yuck... feeling totally yucky... it's Easter sunday and it's so nice outside... but i'm stuck inside and now the nausea! whatelse?! ugh!! ]]> Sat, 11 Apr 2009 07:35:00 -0500
And oh, I also wish that the dr.s would be upfront and straight forward about whatever they think is going on with me. I don't care what ethnics (I meant "ethics" LOL, thanks MOS for letting me know!) they're trained in or what their personal ethics are. To me, I think they also should take into account what the patient wishes. I am the kind of person what wishes to hear the truth and nothing but the truth. A lil bit of softening is appreciated, but too much delay and sugar-coating is soooo annoying and sanity-consuming!!

And i also wish that the further testing this coming Wednesday could go well, hopefully... Or if not, I wish to be told the truth asap! And BTW, I am so so tired of speaking to the dr.s's secretaries or nurses anymore! I WANT TO TALK TO THE DR./A DR., NOT THE REST OF THEIR CLUELESS CREW who all seem to have a secret code of honor of not saying anything informative!

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