Underweight, IBS-C, gastritis and binging

Food. It's all I thought about the few months before my IBS symptoms started to show and it's all I can think about now I have it. "Okay, I'll order a Club Sandwich without the tomatoes -gastritis and all, you know-, oh and skip the ham -I don't eat red meat, it's harder to digest!-, and the bacon -too much fat... You know what, I think I'll just have the soup." In this long introductory post, I'll discuss the eating disorder I developed and the complications of having IBS and gastrs.

I don't know if the beginnings of an eating disorder were the cause of all this tummy trouble. Probably, right? I first became obsessed with healthy eating (some people like to call it orthorexia. My mum did). I started having whole wheat bread, no longer ate red mead and tried to avoid oils at all costs. I am underweight, so everyone thought I had anorexia or something, but I just wanted a "healthier" diet. Of course, I didn't have the necessary information, just jumped from webpage to webpage.

I think the problem aggravated when I tried to skip dessert. During my whole life, I ALWAYS had something sugary during the day, maybe some Oreos with milk, sometimes a brownie, a tiramisu, etc. My stomach could take it all! And I was skinny, so I just wanted to get rid of the carb obsession, somehow. But after trying that and losing a bit of weight, everyone noticed I was thinner.

People always judge you by how you look, and I think I was pale. "Eat more, you're so thin!" was all I could hear. "Eat the fried chicken, I tell you!" said my mother during the weekends. And I deprived myself, so I started binging every couple of days, especially before dinner. I didn't indulge on fried foods, but I ALWAYS had to had dessert. My beloved dessert that I can't have now.

Then, suddenly, I started getting bloated, I had some stomach pain. The first day, my mum rushed me to the doctor to check if I had appendicitis. Obviously, I didn't. I just had eaten too much for that day, according to the gastroenterologist, which was partly true, 'cos I had binged. But between that diagnosis (October 2008) and the final, awful diagnosis after my endoscopy (February 2009), I kept on binging, I was bloated all the time, I was mildly depressed, I wanted to leave college for good... I just felt like a mess.

My IBS symptoms were mainly being bloated and constipated, the first symptom being horrific for me. Just recently I've been extremely, extremely gassy. I can have the most simple meal (say cooked carrots, peas and potatoes with smoked fish) and still get gas. I get SO uncomfortable at the middle of class... And what to say about going out with friends during the weekend! Extreme no-no, as I'm usually tired and/or gassy.

I binge mainly because of my gastritis. I always thought I was just hungry and ate more bread, more cookies, more bananas, more everything, which worsened the reflux. I'm learning to control the binging. Now I don't binge much, thankfully! I would hardly call it binging and I feel proud of myself. But handling two stomach issues at the same time is hard. I'm over the "Why did I get this, why?! My life is SO over" period.

This next period is dealing with IBS and gastritis while travelling abroad. I'm going to the US of A for three months to work at a small, isolated ski resort in Vermont with people I don't know at all, to have a life changing experience, definitely. I'll share a room and WORK (get payed!) for the first time in my life. It's exciting, indeed, but I'm so worried because of my stomach problems. I really am. I don't know what I'll do when I'm there. Will I binge? Will they give me waffles? I heard it's near the Ben & Jerry's factory, hmm... Will I miss some things? What will my roommates say? What will I do without my family and the docs supporting me?!

Long rant, I know! But phew, I really needed to get this out of my system!

All I can think about is my stomach and how it complicated things. Should I just ignore it, eat anything and be happy? But how can I ignore when I'm leaking gas after meals, not fitting in my pants and all?

I hope I can find out, soon!
Until then,
ViCtoria