And yet again, she binged

Yet again, she hurt her body in the most awful way possible...

I was already in SO much pain from binging on Monday... It was a kind of pain in the stomach I hadn't felt before, it was appetite loss... I still feel like that now, it's even worse after I binged... And I was so worried and I haven't eaten much these days, so I binged... Sooo much it hurts my stomach.

I'm just waiting for my mother to come home, the only one whom I can talk with when I'm feeling like this. My cousin is never around, no matter how much I need her, how much I beg for her...

I don't want this stomach, I don't want these bowels, they make the binging so much worse... Maybe this pain is an ulcer? I've hurt my stomach so badly that my gastritis has now formed an ulcer in my stomach?

And tomorrow I have an exam, and I have to be at college from 8 to 4 pm, and I feel like ####, my stomach hurts... And I don't know what to do after I binge. I can't exercise, I'm too full, all I feel like doing is staring at the computer screen and that's not healthy, I do that 24/7... I need to study but it hurts and I feel so bad, I don't feel guilty but I just feel the pain in my stomach and I'm bloated, bloated like a beach ball...

I wish things could change.