Boogie woogies can't explain it

Long story short: the results for the parasites test came out yesterday and say I have cysts of Entamoeba Coli in my gut. Today I went to my gastroenterologist and she said we live with it, that it's not related to IBS.

I was in shock, I couldn't talk. I had the last tiny bit of hope in the E coli thingy, and now not even that could explain why my IBS symptoms have gotten worse as the months pass.

Then she checked me and found out I have an extra long colon, a part of it goes over my liver instead of behind. So yay me, that explains the constipation...

Why now? Because I hurt my digestive system since I was 15 or 16. I ate a lot, I ate ####, then I developed binge eating disorder, I'm still trying to cope with it, and my long colon, which had been resting peacefully all these years, suddenly went nutty (I can't tolerate nuts now, so it's not funny) and I developed IBS. Wahoo.

I'm really frustrated for the E coli discovery. I wanted the problem to diminish a little bit, at least! I take good care of what I eat and of not getting stressed, I even talk myself out of binging and all...

I feel defeated. Less than two decades old and I'm defeated. By my colon, by the boogie woogies, by binging, by Hume (whom I have to finish reading besides doing other college stuff)...

Question: How the HECK do I get rid of the victimizing mentality? I want to be strong, cope with this, 'cos it's not like I'm gonna die or anything, it's not that I'm gonna be a social outcast.

So why do I feel like such a victim?

ViCtoria~