[cw_2009]

Hi i was after a bit advice about moving out, from my parents

This week my friend asked if i wanted to move out, and try and find a place together to share. The trouble is i have ibsd and i was wondering if people have been in the situation and what they do.

At home i have two toilets, if i really need to go we have a outside toilet :(

As im only young, our budget isnt fantastic, so couldnt afford to get a place with an en suite or another loo.

[MrBumwe]

Hey Claire,,

I am in the same boat and have ibs-d too,,
I am 25 and finished studying recently and NEED to get out of the house,, ideally an ensuite would be perfect but given i am looking for work and worried about money, will prob end up in a share situation...
I am thinking about moving into a place with some friends, one works nights and the other is always out anyway so I figure its gonna be pretty much like having the place to myself mostly...
It sucks that IBS manages to make every decisoin more complicated...
Good luck

[cw_2009]

Hi

Thanks for replying i was thinking people might of thought the topic was a bit strange. Im glad your in the same boat as me atm.

Well i hope you not what i mean!!

Are you lookin for a three bedroom house then?

[MrBumwe]

Yeah a 3 bedroom unit,,, there is some run down unit blocks near the beach where the rent is kinda reasonable,,,,

[Diana63]

Hello Claire
I certainly did not think your topic was strange,IBS affects everyone in different ways or at times it can mirror someone elses symptoms.I am not in the same boat as you but i have one toilet in the house,but at times when the urgency is,i need to go now i have to get my husband or son whoever is in the toilet to get out there and then!IBS is a real pain!Take care.

[Starry_Eyed]

I couldn't agree with you more! i am 22, just finished college and am looking for work. My boyfriend and I are talking about moving in together in the next fews months and finding a place with more than one bathroom is a little more difficult than expected. On top of hating the idea of sharing a bathroom with anyone (i always have in my family and hate it) i now need to find a place with at least 2 bathrooms (and by default probably 2 bedrooms) while staying in out budget. I cant imagine the stress of looking for places amongst friends. I understand what you are talking about...Its not strange at all..its the reality of the disorder. Best of luck in your search!!

[Claireuk]

Good luck, you should just share and think about it later. I'm still at home and have been throughout all my ibs-d. I was too scared to share with anyone else because I was always on the toilet etc and couldn't afford to rent on my own... Wish I had just done it. Because probably if you don't do it now you'll probably find more and more reasons not to. Now things are getting much better with me I am starting to look for flats etc..
Also because my mum has seen me dealing with all this and because I was living at home , she seems to think I am still this little girl, hardly at 31! :(
Best of Luck.

[cw_2009]

Im 22 now, ill be 23 in November. My friend mentioned a few weeks ago about moving out. I like it at my mom & dads house, we live in a three bedroom house and have 2 toilets one is outside and i could wish for better parents, like most people they do annoy you at times but thats the same with everyone.

Even through it is nice, i think i should move out, as my sister is a bit older than me and she has left home i work full time and i am thinking if i dont do it now will i ever get the chance.

I get on well with my friend that was talking about it, he came on holiday with us for a few days, so think it would be ok, but the things that are bothering me at the moment is the ibs and the money...

How does everyone get on with this and living with someone??

I am doing hypnosis atm, it would be great if this would work... Then it would only be the money i would have to worry about lol

As i work full time, i am going to try saving, until this happens, there always seems to be things i need to pay normally related to my car.. very expensive running a car...

Hope im not moaning too much...

Thanks again for your repies...

[Claireuk]

I'm going to change what I said previously.
I personally couldn't have handled living with anyone else, or explaining it to anyone else. I had a hard enough time dealing with it myself and with my family. I was so embarressed about always having to sit on the toilet and not wanting to go out - I just wanted to avoid the whole of the world. Going to work was enough for me. I couldn't have dealt with another person sharing the toilet or bringing friends around. That was just the way that I dealt with it. So many people deal with it in a much more positive way. I guess I was saying it out of a wish that I could have been emotionally able to deal with that one. But I couldn't. I was telling you what I would tell myself if I could go back 10 years.

I couldn't have got through it without my mum as she has been there with me through the whole thing and was the only one who truely knew what I had to go through everyday and she was there to comfort me when I was crying my eyes out on the toilet. I guess I just wish I could have had the courage to move out.
If you think you can personally handle it, and that you think you will be able to keep your job, and if your friend is a good friend then I truely think you should do what you want to do. We only have one life and it's best to make the most of it. Perhaps you could get a place with 2 bathrooms or an en-suite. That would take the worry away for you.
Best of luck.

[cw_2009]

Hi, i dont think it will be until next year, not too sure at the moment.

Ive tried to improve my diet a little this week, seeing if this makes a difference to my ibs.

Its a big thing, moving in with someone, and esp with ibs and sharing a toilet.

i know this sounds werid has ne one ever used the small toilets you can get for the car or for camping could always get one of them, and losts of andrex wips and airfresher lol...

[MrBumwe]

I recall my advice, its too hard i am back home,,, i am sick and couldn;t manage,

[Claireuk]

I'm sorry to hear that MrBrumwe. I found it easier to cope with living at home but really desperately needed to have my own space. Hope things get better.

[TanaG]

God knows I felt the need to run back to my parents once this whole IBS thing started!!! But I moved out at 18 and I am 31 now so I don't think I could handle the "living with parents" thing anymore. I got too used to do whatever I want :( ....
I live with my boyfriend and yes we have just one bathroom....
But my advice would be: please try not to be ashamed of having IBS. It is not like it's your fault! And people who are around you should understand that!....so what if they will have a room mate who spends more time on the loo? You are more than IBS! I bet there are plenty of things about you people can love!
Good luck!

[Sazzle123]

Completely agree with the last post. Your IBS won't necesarily get better from talking about it, but it definitely helps to tell those people close to you so that you feel more comfortable about it, and you don't have to put on a front and get yourself more anxious, which of course makes symptoms worse. You need to feel comfortable in your own home. I would just let your flatmate-to-be know your worries, and when she sees how upsetting and serious it is then it might go some way towards her understanding how much it affects you and how this is a real serious thing you have to deal with all the time. You don't particularly want to be worried about her and how she has to deal with it when you have enough to worry about as it is! If your flatmate is aware of what happens to you then hopefully she'll be considerate when it comes to sharing the bathroom with you, and you become the priority because I'm guessing she could hold on! It helps if you both check if the other person needs the toliet before you plan on spending a long length of time in the bathroom, to have showers etc. Which is what friends would do anyway, because you likewise wouldn't want her wetting herself! :( I live in a flat with two girls, who were strangers to me when I moved in and I remember that the bathroom was a big priority when I moved in - will they be able to hear me in there - can I run the taps while I go, is there a window, good flush etc - as I'd shared with a friend before, and there was less to worry about. All these things we have to worry about & those people without IBS would never think twice about! But all the people I've told about having IBS have all been really supportive, including a guy I'm seeing, which was a really pleasant surprise. And when you bring it up people always seem to know someone who has it and has tips and advice, so you'd be amazed the number of people that crop up as a sufferer or someone who used to suffer. I think the thing to remember is we are only human and sometimes our bodies fail us, it's not our fault and we shouldn't have to feel ashamed, and everyone has things that affect them, ours is just a particular pain in the ass, (excuse the pun!) so just try not to get too down about it or start worrying yourself ill. Trust that people around you care about you & never want to see you suffering unnecesarily. Hope things work out for you in your new flat! :) x

[stephpeds]

Hi,

I am currently going through a similar situation. Me and my boyfriend are looking to buy our first house together and the first thing I said is we need two toilets! If you are looking to buy a house there is a lot of great deals going on new builds for first time buyers. Have a look for new developments in your area and ask them about using HomeBuy Direct or Shared Equity, this makes buying your first house much more affordable. The reason I am teeling you about new builds is because every house we have been to view have a downstairs and an upstairs toilet and if you pay a little bit extra money you can get an ensuite so there is a third toilet!

I have had IBS for as long as I can remember but it was just in the background for years, it flared up in November last year and I have been bad ever since. I have been lucky in that my boyfriend has been with me and saw everything I have been through in the past year so he is very supportive. I also have told all my friends about the condition so they understand when were all round a friends drinking or on a night out when I dissappear for quite a while!

I think you should tell your close friends about your condition. It real does make everything more comfortable as you don't have the added worry of been sat on the toilet thinking 'oh god, they're going to wonder where I am!!' and we can even joke amonst ourselves about it so I am not embarrased to be with my friends.

I actually think having a little portable toilet would be a good idea. It would give you piece of mind just incase someone was on the toilet when you needed it. Just make sure you get a lock on your bathroom door!

I always run to my mother when I am ill, I wouldn't get through any of this without her but I know I have to make the first steps to becoming independant with my condition, I think it is best to do it whilst my parents are still here supporting me instead of when I have no other choice but to do it if that makes sense.

Good Luck in whatever you decide to do!!! x

[alabama231]

I understand what everyone is saying here!! I was supposed to move into a house this year for my final year of uni with my friends, which would have meant 5 poeple and 1 toilet I was freaking out!! I was so tempted to tell them that I couldnt move in and then live somewhere on my own!! In the end it turned out alright as we decided against a house and stayed in student halls of residence which had individual en-suites, but even the thought of going into a house where I didnt have immeadiate access to a toilet, and I only knew one of the girls really well so the other 3 didnt have a clue about my IBS-D and didnt fancy having that converstation with them!