[Lacy]

I finally started back at school last week after missing the entire first semester of my grade 12 year because I was so sick. I have been gradually starting to feel better, but very slowly. Some days are better than others. I was so scared to go back to school because most days I don't even feel well enough to leave the house. I made it through the first three days, even though my stomach felt awful and I was in a lot of pain (not to mention I was extremely tired as well). Even though I did not feel well at all, I made myself go because I knew it would be worse if I didn't, and the only way to get over the anxiety I have towards school was to go.
Needless to say, after only 3 days back, I am physically and emotionally exhausted. I did my best to go today, but 10 minutes into my first class I had to leave to come home because I feel so sick.
I feel extremely defeated and frustrated with my body and I have not stopped crying since I got home... I just want to be able to go to school and go out with my friends like everyone else my age does, without having to worry about where the closest washroom is, or if I even feel well enough to go in the first place.
I have talked to all of my teachers about how sick I have been, and I do have a medical IPP for my IBS, as well as a key to the only 2 private washrooms in the school. Though these things are helpful, I am still extremely nervous about going to school because of my stomach issues, which of course makes me feel even worse. Also, even though I have the key to use the private washrooms, I am scared of what people might think if they see me using those washrooms, instead of the public washrooms that everyone else uses, so I have just been using those...but it can be extremely embarrassing, especially when there are a bunch of girls doing their makeup.
It is very difficult to focus on anything at school when I feel so terrible, so I am feeling extremely overwhelmed, going from staying home for 8 months sick to 3 core classes every day, with tons of homework (still sick). I knew going back to school was going to be a challenge, but I already feel so defeated after only a few days.
It is difficult to talk to anyone about it because IBS is one of the most embarrassing problems a teenage girl in high school could have, so I feel like I am struggling all alone and I really don't know what to do...=(