When I was 26 I had my first son and had to have an emergency c-section. I was still very aware that at times of stress (I was in an abusive relationship) I would experience severe diarrhea, abdominal pain, I was constantly depressed and anxious and would go without eating for days, then eat. I ended he relationship after 5 years of mental anguish and abuse but was pregnant with my second son and had a planned C-section after which and do to this day suffer terribly with pain from the ops, doctors have just said its adhesions. When I have a period I am like a totally different person and am like a lunatic the pain is immense.
In the past 6 months I have experienced pain on a daily basis, severe bloating to the point I have at times refused to eat because I look at my extended belly and feel (even more) depressed, I alternate from being constipated to just suddenly havong to rush to the toilet empty my bowels and it being like water, flush sit down and w0 mins later I'm back again n so it goes on throughout the day/night. I am constantly tired, anxious and depressed that I don't have a "normal" body. Currently I have a kidney infection and for the last week have been in agony with that the IBS and had bacterial vagenosis and my adhesions are playing up like nobodys business. I literally am so stressed and waiting for this pain to go that its unbearable.
When the dr diagnosed me she felt my tummy said something about my bowel n said it sounds like IBS after I explained symptoms, I'd already self diagnosed anyway but it was confirmation and I was sent off with some fybrogel and that was it! The fybrogel makes me gag and I have been avoiding eating (the kidney infection has suppressed my appetite anyway) I have lost my love of food n see it as a game of rhoulette .I can't cope with the constant tummy growling, too much wind, trapped wind n feeling my food travelling through my body n then bam! Pain n me sitting with gritted teeth clutching my belly and my poor boys saying "mummy are you alright? And rubbing my back or tummy. I struggle with simple things like my housework and dread waking up with that discomfort in my tummy because it does make me irritable and miserable. I'm like a jekyl and hyde at the moment and its unfair on the people I love. I just pray to god and the angels to relieve me of this pain or to at least give me some respite every now and then.
Thank you for taking time to read this and sorry for my ramblings. Take care

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