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[aaltimas1]

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Hey I don't know and it doesn't matter if anybody reads this but I need to throw this out there to the universe, I am 32 and I have suffered with IBS for over 12 years. I became obsessed with trying to find a diet that would reduce my pain and allow me to go to the bathroom,all I have managed to do is make things worst, you name I have probably tried it. I recently said to myself this is insane no matter what I eat I am in pain and plugged up, and I having been saying the hell with this. I eat simple things but I am just going to eat what I enjoy, i figure I am not going to live to long so I might as well try to have some fun( healthy fun)! IBS is insane and I have become insane with it but what the #%##, it freed me from my fear of death, its freed me of the fear of pain, its freed me from bondage to this physical self, it freed me from the 9 to 5 grind, its freed me from being a ######, and given me a whole new look at life and compassion for other in pain. Yea I am in pain right now as I write this but what can a man do, I can keep on being upset with God and my life or I can try my best to accept life on life's terms, yea I still hold out a sliver of hope that maybe someday the pain will go down and I can go to the bathroom with out have to pound down laxatives but I still have to live in the mean time. I was brought up in a religious home and I was superimposed with alot of ideas that I still do not understand, recently I just had a talk with God( a metaphor for all that can not be understood)and I released alot of anger I feel better now. I can not figure this thing out and I at the point where I just have to say the Dude abides.Take care AndrewP.S if anybody wants to connect with me aaltimas@hotmail.com

[annie7]

glad you feel better now and reached a point of peace. you are so right--we learn to abide! truly it helps..a lot.and i just have to say--i totally loved that movie!! saw it three times---lol...

[aaltimas1]

It a daily process but I as i grow as a person i have started to realize that IBS total destroyed the life i had planned for myself yee haw for that because i thought i was destined to become some super hero?? Watch to much TV as a kid and has given me a total different life, I still struggle every day, with the poor me attuidude, I want everybody to know how much pain I am in. It is my best buddy it always seems to be hanging out with me and I am not upset as much, why I choose to have pain as my best friend who knows but amen it here for some reason. Recently have begun to be able to laugh again, I figure I wasted many precious moments of my life trying to figure out IBS and cure myself, it was my mission in life to become healthy, and I was going to succeed no matter what. It has only been thru unimaginable pain that I have begun to let go of trying to figure this thing out( and life itself) and begun to try to joyfully participate in life. My purpose now as been to laugh and help other laugh, have some fun and help other have some fun, Life is too short. The more pain I feel the more I have to focus on the things that I can still do, and give thanks for that. My other buddy is constipation, yee haw plugged up still have to stay in reality got keep things moving along, not sure which laxative I will use next but gotta to do something. My sister dog ate a bottle of Vasaline ###### great ooh yea, Humm maybe dogs are smarter then we think??? Just joking anyways( don't try that) happy trudging to you until next time.

[annie7]

yes, you're right--it's a daily process. and i've found taking just one day at a time really helps. after living with chronic constipation for most of my life (about 50 years) i have found that among other things it has made me stronger--able to endure--to abide,as you said. i think dealing with any chronic long term illness can be a great teacher of many things.and yes i started out with the poor me attitude but then i read something someone--i think he was a surgeon--said--he said whenever he asked himself "why me" he'd flip it around and ask "why NOT me"...that really got me thinking..and i totally agree with you about how important it is to focus on the things that we CAN do --not the things we can't do..yup--happy trudging. as sir winston churchill once said: "when you're going through hell, keep going." love that man--lol!!

[aaltimas1]

Finding a way to laugh in the grips of the pain has been the best medicine, because I have now been able to laugh at most things in life and I realized that I can't understand most things in life?? I don't think I will ever understand, but if I can learn to have fun even with the pain and constipation, that will be great achievement for me. Yee Haw!

[annie7]

oh yes, you're right--like you said--learning to have fun--helping others to have fun--learning to enjoy life despite having to live with the pain--oh yes that truly is a great achievement.Yee Haw---lol!

[aaltimas1]

Thanks Annie, its really help change my life for the better, life is too short to spend all you time focusing on fixing a problem that does not seem to really exist?? I spent hours and hours and hours of my life going over the same thoughts, until recently after spending all this time and reading what seems like hundreds of health books and self help books, and seeing literary 40(?) different healers, gurus, medince men, etc etc?? I hit a wall. This is it(my life). I was always waiting to be healthy to start living again, I just said what the #^%#, this really sucks but I can keep focusing on how much it sucks (yea I was angry) or I can try to make the best of it. The reason why it has taken me so long to find any type of acceptance was that I always figured I could some how fix it?? And yes there are many people who do get cured dont get me wrong. It just that the more I tried to heal the more sick I have become??? Paradox??? So I changed my focus from IBS to other things, again dont get me wrong every day I must think about it to some extent but as little as I can. I am still willing to try different things, but I have done just about everything that has ever been tried. My Grandma(96) is the one that helped me, she said to me one day, I can tell she doesn't care if she lives or dies anymore she said too me with the whites of her eyes showing Andrew for Gods sake man have some fun! This was a revolution for me, the God that I have always had was one of suffering, blood, death, sin, and judgement etc etc. But she used the words for Gods sake, this hit me right in the heart. I have also spent too much time worrying about the environment, poltics, world issues, etc etc etc. As I said before and will say I again I don't have a clue, but I might as well have fun( clean fun), and my life is much more enjoyable even with extreme pain, constipation etc etc. I am am 32 year old man and I never even had a intimate relationship in my whole life, I don't know how long I am going to live but it not IBS stopping me from doing this, I know many sick people who still do amazing things. So anyways off to cyber space or universe this goes, and bottom line is I write for me! Because I need to send this out into the universe, keep on the yellow brick road and I may meet some of you on our way to the wizard.