Posted 02 August 2000 - 06:37 PM
I have enjoyed being to talk with someone who has an understanding of some of the intense pain that I feel. A problem is, I am at work and I do not know if these transactions can be monitored.I just know that sometimes I feel so bad. I have a husband who is kind and understanding, but cannot understand the loss that I feel. He was close with my Dad, but I have had a close relationship with my Dad all of my life and especially since my Mom passed 8 years ago. I thought, somewhere inside my childlike heart, that my father would never die, would never leave me. We spoke each night and always ended the conversation with good-night, I love you. He came out to my house each week, and Dad and I would go out shopping and looking for things or he would go with me to craft shows and to places for me to get my stained glass work. He was the kindest, most gentle man I have ever known. He was always in a positive place and was a sheer joy to be around. I feel so lost. My Dad was 93, in excellent health and was killed crossing the street in front of his house, by a man who had no license, insurance or an inspected car. I am the one who now must go through the house (the same one from when I was born and grew up in) and make decisions on what gets thrown out. Dad lived there for over 63 years and there is a lot of stuff. Sorry for going on and on.