Wanted to help people with diseases, instead got one myself.ibs leaky gas medicine doctor story bloating pain suicide
Posted 07 July 2013 - 08:35 AM
Its funny how the universe works, you can never predict what will happen in the next moment and how your life will change.
I am a 22 year old male. I ask you to take just 5 mins to read this small story. If you are lazier, I have dot point summary down the bottom. The reason I ask you for your time is because I have IBS-C plus leaky gas, and I have no one in my life with whom I can share this information with. It will truly mean a lot to me that if I feel like my story is being heard.
Ever since I started school I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to help people in any way I could. I worked so hard in school to get good grades. I would always dream of a better lifestyle in the future if I put the effort in now. I imagined living a fulfilling life treating other people. My parents always had high expectatinos from me. I ended up with a score of 98.8 % in high school and got entry into a top medical school in Australia. But my parents asked me why I didnt get 99%.
I could not work becuase of the high study load, and I would ask my parents for money. My parents were extremely frugal with money and would not give me any until I literally begged them because I had borrowed money from friends. The study load was getting intense during my university years. Life became very stressful. But I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, that is my desire to one day become a good doctor. My only release from stress was gym and heavy weightlifting.
Then in my 4th year of medicine I started getting symptoms I did not understand, bloating , pain and worst of all leaky gas flatulence. My life changed. I could not sit in meetings because of the smell. My grades dropped. My attendance dropped. I told my senior teachers of my problems, but no one was empathetic. Everyone said I needed to deal with it or else I would fail.
I put in all the treatment strategies in place myself. I am analytical and logical, and doctors were not helping me. I started low FODMAPs, probiotics, iberogast, ACV. I am continuously trying everything. But I seem to have referactory IBS. It just doesnt get better. I cant sit in one place for even 10mins before people start sniffing and asking what that aweful smell is.
My friends have girlfriends, but no girl even comes near me. I avoid social interactions even though I naturally like being around people.
My whole life was a culmination of a dream to be a doctor. I did not enjoy myself while my friends would go out and party, I would sit in my room studying. My only dream and purpose has been taken away from me. I sit here literally crying in my dorm room while writing this. Not a single soul to witness my tears. The hopelessness of my situation is overwhelming me. I cannot complete medicine. This was my only purpose in life. Without purpose, for me, there is only death.
The only thing stopping me from taking my own life is that I want to see my little brother grow up. I want to help him throughout life. I want to be a great big brother.
* 22 years old diagnosed with IBS-C with LG in my 4th year of medicine
* Wanted to be a good doctor and help people. But God had other plans for me
* My situation seems hopeless. No one is understanding.
* Without medicine I have nothing. I have no purpose.
* The only thing keeping me going is wanted to see my little brother grow up.
Posted 07 July 2013 - 01:55 PM
I hope you get better and you'll have enough strength to complete your studies. Thank god that in my case it started over 30, seeing how many students struggling with this problem. I really feel for you. It's hard to say reassuring things while I haven't sorted mine out either. Let me just put a Churchill quote here for you: "If you're going through hell, keep going."
Posted 12 July 2013 - 07:56 AM
Manu your story really touched me man. You can't give up mate, your life purpose right now it to fight until you recover your own personal health. When you do that, which you will, then you go on to help as many others going through the same thing. Perhaps you could work to uncover this in the mainstream medical world. Chin up brother and get positive and start the fight. I have pretty much tried it all so if you need advice hit me up. I posted a success story on my blog last week which you'll be keen to have read of. Take care man.
And Laurel congrats mate, your story mirrors mine so closely it's freaky. I also got IBS at 24. Now work as a disability support worker and help others with their gut issues. I'm also thankful for the all this health journey has taught me!The life lessons have shaped who I am. Keep up the good work mate. You might be interested in one day studying at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition out of New York. I'm just starting the one year course now and it will qualify me to be a health coach at the end of it. Might be something you could do too.
- Laurel S likes this
Posted 12 July 2013 - 07:59 PM
Thank you so much guys for the kind words and taking the time out to read this. It really takes a person of character to put aside their own problems and be empathetic for someone else. I really appreciate it. Im taking each day one at a time now. Good news is that Ive passed another semester which I am very happy about.
@ Laurel. You are right. Medicine does not have all the answers. Its amazing how little modern medicine has an understanding of this disorder. The call it 'functional' i.e. 'in your head' but thats only because research has not elicited the exact cause. Hopefully new research into the fields of psychoneuroimmunology which is desperately lacking can give us more answers and more effective therapies.
Posted 12 July 2013 - 09:11 PM
I really feel for you. Reading your story broke my heart. To be so sick at such a young age is devasting. I know how you feel as do most of the people here. But you are such an intelligent and special young man and I'm sure God has special plans for you. Maybe you will go on to discover a cure for this horrible disease or at least have more information and compassion for the people who suffer with this. I have been suffering with this for 25 years and it is like going through hell. Don't give up.
Posted 13 July 2013 - 02:11 AM
well done on passing another semester. If you have free time try and get a copy of Robert Morse's the Detox Miracle Sourcebook. It's more of a medical book in the way it explains how the body works ( will be easy for you to understand) and how to detox all illnesses. It's hands down the best detox book in the business. Your journey is just beginning my friend. Enjoy the ride, you're going to come out of it a much more resilient, grateful and empathetic person. Good luck.