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Completely immobilised by illness, feeling lonely and isolated :(

ibs-d fmt anxiety isolation chronic

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#1 TheTruthSeeker

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Posted 25 October 2015 - 12:20 PM

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Hi there folks,

 

I'm a 24 man and since nearly 5 years I'm having some weird gastro-intestinal issues. I'll display my full story soon in appropriate section of this forum. What I wanted to tell now in this topic is that I feel extremely isolated and lonely. Just as if I would be in a home prison. I only lack that kind of bracelet that prisoners wear...

 

I don't have any income despite having graphic design skills and a legit logo design business. My fiance didn't handle my illness and left me. Moreover she cheated on me just 2 days before my birthday this year. After all the love I gave her... . All of my former friends begun their adult life far away from my city. Some of them succeeded on universities, some of them found love and created families. What's common with all of them is that they are far and the links were cut. I have no one to talk to besides my grandmother that works periodically as an accountant. She's a lovely person but you get the point that there's a generation difference between us and I won't have a really rich conversation with her about things that interest me.

I feel like a failure, I still live with my parents, well actually with my mom and grandmother because my dad left us exactly on the day of my 8th birthday. I have no stable income to become independent like I've always wanted. Because of my rebel years and illness I didn't begin studies. I have only highschool diploma which automatically excludes me from any possible work in my town in the eyes of an employer. 

 

A hope for a cure for GI problems fades away with each day. I have an acute diarrhea, painful heartburns that wake me up at 4 a.m. and I suffer from chronic tiredness. My thyroid doesn't work as well. I'm tired, depressed, demotivated. I have libido problems, sperm count problems and huge erection problems which makes me feel even less valuable as a person. I have visited numerous amounts of doctors and paid a lot for medicaments in the past years. I have spent a lot of money on doctors, their arrogance and incompetence. This money could have been saved and invested into something profitable which would make me a young millionaire. This thought makes me even more sick. Wherever I look, I only see wasted chances to make my life the way as I want it to be.

 

I wish to be healthy, become an astronomer, physicist, music producer or an engineer. I want to have children, be a perfect dad that myself I never had. I wish to protect my mom and grandmother in terms of finances. Make their life's calm and happy. Thank them for all the years where they fought for my happiness and fed me. I dream to find romantic love, give my whole self, be tender, caress, hug, kiss on forehead. I dream to feel fullfilled in my career, collect some assets like a nice house, have a big garden where all adopted sheltered animals would be running and be happy. I wish to give my whole self to all of them. Well, if I'm talking about dreams... I wish so much to buy that 1967 Ford Mustang Fastback...ehh whatever.

 

Please talk to me, at least in this topic. I need you or else I'll go crazy.

 

 



#2 Nightmaresky

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Posted 25 October 2015 - 02:02 PM

Well from reading your post I noticed that besides you GI problems that you should look into cognitive therapy. There are a few negative views that you have that I believe would be helped if you looked into it. I understand the loney aspect and being alone is not good for your health. There are support groups that meet and you might be able to fill that lonely void a little bit by that. You could also try volunteering at something very easy, and let them know you have health issues. Talking to people on the internet is different than being able to talk to someone in person.

I know the feeling of not being able to go towards you goals or dreams because of your illiness. It can be frustrating, but think about what you can do instead of what you can't do.

Lastly, you need to be the one on top of your health. I personally don't like doctors either, so I've taken my care into my own hands, becuase like you I was treated very poorly by the health system. If you would like some book suggestions on what literature has helped me I can give you a list of a couple of books.

#3 TheTruthSeeker

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Posted 25 October 2015 - 03:02 PM

Thanks for the response. I am reading about Cognitive therapy right now and it seems interesting. I want a change and some say that a will for change is the most difficult step to take. My life seems distorted to me. I stated to you in a different topic that marijuana helps me with my heartburn. It's true as well as side effects. However, each time I smoke I see my life from a huge distance. I see all these flaws in my life, in it's quality and overall happiness. I don't know is it caused by my thyroid or is it caused by some mental disorder caused by traumas of the past. I feel a little bit like Steve Jobs at the time of his LSD and ZEN period. Kinda like in search for myself.

 

When you stated that "There are a few negative views that you have that I believe would be helped if you looked into it." can you elaborate more on what exactly caught your attention ?

 

When it comes to support groups, yes I wish to hang out with someone. However, I'm afraid to go out when I have often diarrheas, loose stools etc. When I feel bad but need to go out, I take Laremid 5mg (It's just a different name for Imodium). Sometimes it helps, sometimes not. I'm trying not to exceed 2 pills per week. I don't like pills, prefer what mother nature have given us like herbs.

 

About your last paragraph - I've lost so much money in 2014 alone that right now I just can't afford going to a doc. In my sick country if you're unemployed and over 18 then you cannot go to hospitals or doctors for free. Also you can't have any tests for free. So in order to get free health care I need to begin working but to begin working I need to be healthy. The circle closes and I just don't know how to get on my feet from the bottom of the ocean. Please tell me which books have helped you. I'm trying to find a natural cure to my problems.

 

I have an analytic mind. I tried to analyze and visualize what is going on inside my body, on the smallest scale. My illness begun when I've visited Paris for the third time (I didn't mention it but my fiance was French and lived in Paris). I've started to have diarrheas more often. Heartburn appeared maybe in the middle of 2013. In the middle of all that my thyroid appeared to have some dysfunctions. Could it be that microbiome begun to be overpopulated with negative pathogens upon a trip abroad, some enzymes have been released, thyroid reacted, released too much of certain hormone, that lowered stomach acid, another negative pathogens were able to overpopulate my small intestine and that caused diarrheas, some unknown food allergies etc. For all that time I feel that my illness has to do something with travelling to my ex-fiance and that the health of my gastro intestinal system heavily relies on the health of my thyroid and vice versa.



#4 TheTruthSeeker

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Posted 27 October 2015 - 06:27 PM

Update: In other topic I've mentioned about the fact that my aunt who has IBS-C bought some probiotics. The name was Doppel Hertz aktiv for sensitive intestines. I bought it too 2 days ago and must say that I saw influence it has on my digestive system. Basically morning 2 days ago I didn't have any problems at all, felt happy, thought positively, had normal, hard stool. Yesterday too, I felt very good as if these 5 years of punishment, degradation and isolation never happened. Today morning was great too...but (yes me too I don't like it)...upon eating a very delicate dinner which was rice with cooked apples I had to rush to the toilet. Explosive watery diarrhea without any significant smell. I don't know what's going on inside my body. I tell you people that it all has to do wtih the gut bacteria, just I don't understand how the probiotic bacterias are fighting with the current ones. Why aren't they overpopulating what's already living inside me ? Why upon 4 swallowed pills they didn't colonise the entire GI tract? Package wrongly stored ? Some bacterias died ? What really cause that diarrhea incident today ? But hey... before that I could go to my dentist without taking even 1 laremid (imodium) ! Now that's a success woo hoo...

 

P.s. For all sufferers out here - remember after rain comes laugher and vice versa. Don't treat this existance so seriously. In the end we're all just virtualisation of frequencies so low that they obtain a solid form. In other words we're just an extremely low frequency that obtained a solid form of a $hitting chimpanzee in a suit. Whatever we're living is not real. It's realistic indeed but not real. Don't worry, things will be just ok!



#5 dlind70

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Posted 29 October 2015 - 05:09 AM

Yes and the highest chakra is gas/breath/spirit.  Remember the tale of God breathing life into man?  I believe that is spirit/gas THE PROBLEM COMES WHEN GAS IS IN THE WRONG PLACE IN YOUR BODY FOR THE WRONG EXPERIENCE.  This tonic puts gas in its place.  

 

Hormone/b12 booster tonic. Drink after breakfast of soaked almonds and fruit at 8:00 am or for a better liver cleaning do it at 1:00 am.  Yes thats a.m.

 

Tonic: tsp raw cacao powder mix with tsp or two of 100% dark maple syrup.  Mix them and drink with fresh brewed coffee (1 cup).

 

Eat more iron and oranges afterward.  I know you are going to be feeling better OP.



#6 TheTruthSeeker

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Posted 07 November 2015 - 11:57 AM

Yes and the highest chakra is gas/breath/spirit.  Remember the tale of God breathing life into man?  I believe that is spirit/gas THE PROBLEM COMES WHEN GAS IS IN THE WRONG PLACE IN YOUR BODY FOR THE WRONG EXPERIENCE.  This tonic puts gas in its place.  

 

Hormone/b12 booster tonic. Drink after breakfast of soaked almonds and fruit at 8:00 am or for a better liver cleaning do it at 1:00 am.  Yes thats a.m.

 

Tonic: tsp raw cacao powder mix with tsp or two of 100% dark maple syrup.  Mix them and drink with fresh brewed coffee (1 cup).

 

Eat more iron and oranges afterward.  I know you are going to be feeling better OP.

 

Thanks a lot ! I'll give it a test run in next week and hopefully write an update here. The probiotics work and I see it every day. I often go only once a day to the bathroom and have a stool like type 1 - 3 on Bristol's Stool Chart. However, there are days like today where the stool doesn't look ok (it's loose, acidous and I see a lot of undigested food matter). I still go no more than once or twice a day to the loo but I'm aware that I'm not yet 100% healthy. 

In case you have no idea what Bristol's Stool Chart is, here's an infographic:
Bristol_stool_chart.jpg
 

Here are some articles that I've found but didn't yet read on particular types from this chart:

https://www.gutsense...mal_stools.html

http://www.justanswe....html#re.v/328/

I've noticed that there is drastically higher chance of me having a loose, sticky stool (either 6 or 7 on bristol stool chart) when I have heartburn attacks. Also I often experience scalp and chest itchiness with visible point dermatitis on these kind of days as well as increased tiredness and oily skin (hmm...thyroid?). This morning around 8 am I woke up with quite painful heartburn. I sat, meditated for a moment and the heartburn went away. Then around 4 p.m. I had to go to the bathroom. Some part of the stool was like number 1 or 2 on bristol's stool chart and the rest was kinda like a mix of 6 and 7 on the chart. Having an acidous, unnatural smell. Just as if it would not be a stool but something synthethic. Some months ago when each day I had a stool like that and worser, I have made a PH test of a stool sample. It turned out that it's very acidous and not alkaline. I didn't find a cause to this yet. Maybe someone here knows ?

 

This week I'll try to go and make tests for 3 things:

1. Liver tests

2. Pancreatic tests

3. Thyroid hormone tests

 

I'll see if these organs work well. I know for sure that I have hypothyroidism because I already checked for it some time ago. However, what I don't understand is that with the supplementation of some healthy gut bacteria I should be always constipated (one of the symptoms of hypothyroidism). When it comes to the pancreas and liver, there is a chance that excess bile is released to my GI tract which can cause digestive problems to happen. Hopefully I'll come to some logic conclusions on what's exactly going on inside my body. These problems seem to have multiple causes which are quite hard to spot. But hey... it's just science. A riddle to solve.



#7 dlind70

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Posted 07 November 2015 - 08:10 PM

Its actually easy to clean these organs, its all about timing.  Look into the chronobiotic eating plan.  Its an acid alkaline balance that's great for the microbiome too.  When you poop, and especially on time, the more your microbiome is turned over.

 

Also heartburn can be caused by a relationship via unresolved toxic trauma.  How do you deal with the color ORANGE !?

 

Remember, the human tongue is like our personal serpent: venomous in one moment, trance and soothing in the next.  Basically, we get in trouble in life by our big fat mouths.  Knowing that Now we can redo moments in life by timing our speech better.

 

Also Try yawning more often and drinking coffee only in the morning.



#8 TheTruthSeeker

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Posted 08 November 2015 - 05:11 PM

Its actually easy to clean these organs, its all about timing.  Look into the chronobiotic eating plan.  Its an acid alkaline balance that's great for the microbiome too.  When you poop, and especially on time, the more your microbiome is turned over.

 

Also heartburn can be caused by a relationship via unresolved toxic trauma.  How do you deal with the color ORANGE !?

 

Remember, the human tongue is like our personal serpent: venomous in one moment, trance and soothing in the next.  Basically, we get in trouble in life by our big fat mouths.  Knowing that Now we can redo moments in life by timing our speech better.

 

Also Try yawning more often and drinking coffee only in the morning.

I apprecieate your advices but please don't take it as I'm rude or something. Just that I don't feel that I can get this 'spiritual' and simply yawn in the morning in order to stop acidous stool from coming out from my rear end. Today was absolutely horrible, hence please understand my negativity. I am just burnt down there. Imagine that someone lightens a gas lighter inside your anus or allows you to swallow 2 pills filled with chrlorine acid. This is how i feel. Extremely tired upon visiting WC 3 times in a row. Not to mention that I feel physically hurt. Pooping with acid that is to be said.

To all out there. Listen up. I'll try to be as clear as I can be upon drinking 2 bottles of Quitana wine and 3 heineken bears (don't blame me, I couldn't stand my condition and it's effects on my current life). I have noticed today that each time I have an extreme episode of diarrhea or loose stool (type 6 or 7 or mixed in bristol stool chart) I also experience some 'side effects' as well. Listen. I'm hypothyroid since 2011. Each time I feel 'bad' which means I feel extremely tired upon waking up, I dont't remember my dreams since past 5 years, I feel depressed all the time or I'm emotional - i have 'dry, inflammated skin' episodes on my chest and scalp as well as watery, acidous diarrhea and concentration problems. Add heartburns of unknown cause and extended calprotectin levels in my blood (which indicate an 'unknown' inflammatory state of my intestines). Ok, and what about that ? Well, I have a very reasonable doubt that all of my digestive problems come : 90 % from thyroid and 10% from gut bacteria as well. I was supplementing my intestines with 'positive' gut bacteria since 12 days (Doppel Hertz activ for IBS). I've seen a major improvement in my condition as I've spent less time on toilet and had like 1-2 bowel movements a day. 

I should be happy right ? No. Since 2 days I have again watery stool that makes me feel very hurt down there. Just like acid. A coincidence that I feel itchy on chest and scalp ? A coincidence dear doctor that I feel tired since waking up ? Or that I feel vein and bone hurt on my hands and legs ? Let me tell something - It seems that doctors don't have a minor idea on how human microbiome or hormones work. Why not even one doctor visits these forums ? Why a very known gastroenterologist in my town sucked nearly 1100 $ out from my pocket ? Doctors have neglected my grandfather's state. He had a tumour on his leg, they neglected it. The tumour changed to bone cancer, grandfather died. My puppy died from aneurysm. Each vet said 'she's all fine' and charged 120 polish currency for a 10 minute visit. My grandmother can't register for an easy surgery for carotid artery stenosis that she has. I cam calling hospitals every day, driving with my condition 400 kilometers away from my hometown just to hear 'we can't do anything'. F#uck this country and F0ck this life. I have dreams and goals to achieve, yet I can't do anything to reach them. YET what is my life worth in the end ? 

I feel kinda lost becaue no matter what I do and how much money I spend, I can't get out from this shiY-hole. So many people have visited this thread, yet just few answered and helped me. Why everybody stays shut ?



#9 Nanobug

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Posted 08 November 2015 - 06:58 PM

I bought it too 2 days ago and must say that I saw influence it has on my digestive system.


If probiotics help, it's probably a good idea to continue to take them. If there is an imbalance, die-off can certainly happen. Do you have access to a probiotic called saccharomyces boulardii where you live? It might be sold in pharmacies. This one has the best chance of helping stop the watery diarrhea.

#10 TheTruthSeeker

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Posted 08 November 2015 - 08:13 PM

If probiotics help, it's probably a good idea to continue to take them. If there is an imbalance, die-off can certainly happen. Do you have access to a probiotic called saccharomyces boulardii where you live? It might be sold in pharmacies. This one has the best chance of helping stop the watery diarrhea.

 

Nano, 2 days ago I would agree with you without a single doubt. Now I just don't know. I don't know if my state is caused by thyroid or if my state is caused by 'bad' gut bacteria or whatever from my environment. These probiotics do help, they have changed frequency of bowel movements and overall form of the stool (they pushed it to 1-2 type which never occured in past 5 years of illness). However, as you could see by my today's post - they do not stop the illness. The whole darn thing continues and I have no idea what causes it. Don't be wrong that I'll stop pursuying my happyness. I'll continue despite the pain and hurt just to get out from this silly country, just to be happy. This riddle seems to be hard but it's not. I know it deep in myself. Damn it that these doctors only pursue fullfillment of their own greed... . Sometimes I wish to be a Chinese Caesar. Simple rule - Doctor's efforts are not bringing results, bring him to the jungle. Let tigers feed on his wisdom :D. Whatever, back to the subject -  I don't even think what I would have now and who I would have been if I would invest whole that 'cure money' to some investments I faced. 

I'll continue with probiotics. However, I feel that my thyroid has much to say in my state. I wish to know exactly what I should check when it comes to thyroid. I'm once again afraid to spend money and have generous info. Okay, enough with worries. I plan to check for the following :

-TSH
-fT3
-fT4

-Free Testosterone
-Testosterone
-Prolactine
-aTPO (antibodies)
-aTG (antibodies)
-Calprotectine
-Dihydrotestosterone

Like I've said before - I'll keep ya'll updated.



#11 Nanobug

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Posted 08 November 2015 - 09:58 PM

I don't know if my state is caused by thyroid


If I were a betting man, I'd say no but it never hurts to test.
 
 

they do not stop the illness.



I've had diarrhea since I was a young kid and I'm now 46 y.o. Things have improved but never fully went away. But I had to learn a few things along the way on how to best manage the symptoms. For the most part, short of bloating and the occasional loose stools, I live a normal life. So, be prepared for a long fight.

 

The whole darn thing continues and I have no idea what causes it.



No one does for sure.

 

I'll continue with probiotics.



IMO, that's a wise decision.

 

I wish to know exactly what I should check when it comes to thyroid.


I could tell you but honestly I'd save your cash for S. boulardii

#12 dlind70

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Posted 09 November 2015 - 06:52 PM

thyroid issue?  Try some pineapple at 9:00 pm.  Listen to this podcast I just found.  He talks about this at 16:24min of hour two http://oneradionetwo...-july-4-2011-2/



#13 Dawn Zitzka

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Posted 12 December 2015 - 05:38 PM

I just joined this forum and my heart goes out to you, I know what its like this illness is horrible. I have been managing by taking Clove and Peppermint essential oils in capsules (I buy empty capsules and drop 3 drops of each in ) and it is helping. The oils arent that pricey and really help. Good luck and dont give up!



#14 nolaibsman

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Posted 17 December 2015 - 10:05 AM

You must before anything recover your confidence, and smile every day.

 

Bro, read the "The Game", get some girls and chill, you too tense, she left you because as you got weak, you broke your spirit, lose confidence, not because she had to cope with the disease, and that is ok, is very usual in this conditions.

 

Small steps at a time recover yourself, first your mind, and your body will folow it. It the root cause.

 

Many sick people witch great inner strenght cope better with far dangerous conditions.

 

Some insights that helped me: (not all suited for this special case, but sent with good intentions)

 

1 - Clip negative People from your life.
2 - Network online & in Real Life.
3 - Get a Mentor.
4 - Surround yourself by positive e insightful people.
5 - Stop Whining.
6 - Be always positive and Confident.
7 - Continually develop hard & soft Skills.
8 - Do not talk about negative aspects of others or entities.
9 - Form new good habits.
10 - Folow your path.
11 - Smile
12 - Keep in touch.
13 - Engage with others.
14 - Be a leader and decisive.
15 - Be fun.
16 - Congruity between words and body language


#15 kiko khan

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Posted 23 March 2016 - 06:31 AM

i had a 12 year nightmare that consumed the life out of me. nothing worked. sometimes even taking high concentration macrogol with a few litres of water didn't had an effect. a couple of years ago i was prescribed the antidepressant argofan which worked instantly from the first day in regulating my bowel movement (even tho it was prescribed for something else and the doctor warned me that it will take a couple of weeks before it has any visible effects). it seemed to me like i was given a magical potion! unfortunately it gave me other side effects and had to try cipralex which did not seem to work that well, and after that went on remeron which i'm taking now. it's been 2 years and i'm at a constant 80% from what it would be normal bowel movement, which is perfect and a blessing for me. the down side is that i tried for 5 times to half the medication and the constipation came back with a vengeance (altho i did not have absolutely any psychological downside). the musculature of the intestines that produce their movement is controlled by serotoninergic nerve cells (most antidepressants work by modulating serotonin)... altho my psychiatrist did not understand how it might work it resumed to say that my constipation was a result of depression (which i'm sure that it wast the other way round) hence treating my state of mind cured my bowel problem. i'm writing these lines because i know how desperate you might be and i hope you might get some relief. i also recommend reading about "micro-biome and bowel movement" and the miracles of fecal transplant (which sound bad but it's cutting edge medicine). and also guided meditations and hypnosis sessions are absolutely necessary in my opinion. some of the best you can now get free on youtube - search for "michael sealey IBS hypnosis", also "thereachapproach meditations". i wish you all the best



#16 kiko khan

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Posted 23 March 2016 - 06:41 AM

i understand what you mean. read my previous message to see what worked for me. i also want to tell you how much it helps to find some higher understanding. i myself, bypassed my desperation with reading science articles, novels and the most incredible thing that happened to me from all this torment was discovering "out of your mind - complete lectures by alan watts" it amounts in 15 hours of audio, and you can download them for free here: https://kat.cr/alan-...s-t6285173.html . i wish you all the best







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