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Leaky Gas MANAGED!

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#1 MrMcFartsalot


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Posted 29 November 2016 - 07:46 PM


Hey, guys. I had leaky gas for the last three months, quit school, still go back to school to volunteer as a researcher, and life was a b*tch, is still is... Here's what I found out about myself:




To summarize:

Suddenly couldn't hold in my fart anymore. Don't ask why, I just couldn't. So for the whole month, I was leaking flatulence, smelled like ###### because I either had diarrhea or constipation. And everyone in public transportation or class would just gag and cough. Went to the doctors, ruled out IBD, no inflammation in colon, don't know about IBS. Never went back to the GI after he prescribed me omeprazole and dicyclomine. Didn't help with the leaky gas, but helped with constipation. PCP told me it was caused by depression (BUT MY CONDITION CAUSED MY DEPRESSION, YOU TWAT). Never went back to him. I stopped going to both because no one is taking my suggestions.Psych doctor thought I was bipolar and suicidal (mind you, I was suicidal at that time but not crazy enough to skill myself), prescribed me zyprexa. Didn't take that ######. DON'T EVER $$$$$$ING TAKE MEDICATION IF YOU KNOW NOTHING SERIOUS IS WRONG WITH YOURSELF. THESE MEDS CAN CAUSE PSYCHOSIS IN NORMAL PEOPLE.


What I realized:

I don't have leaky gas when I am focused on something or not anxious. Still can't hold my gas in, but f*ck that. I don't care anymore, I'm living with it.


Defecate every morning before heading out. Pooping before you go into the concrete jungle will decrease the smell of the leaky gas.


USE FLUSHABLE WIPES TO WIPE YOUR ANUS. There may be some poo with mucus stuck there. Since I also cannot stop leaking gas, I squeeze some of the liquid out of the flushable wipe and stick it between my butt cheeks. This decreases the smell drastically.


EAT FRUIT AND VEGGIES (use fodmap) because incomplete evacuation kills me every time.


EAT WHEN YOU ARE HUNGRY, because gas gets worse


DISTRACT YOURSELF EVEN IF YOU KEEP THINKING ABOUT IT. I know it's so freaking difficult to do this but trust me, think about something else. If I can do it, you can too.


I have developed something called ORS, olfactory reference syndrome. It's basically thinking that everyone else's gestures and speech is related to you or your body odor. Sometimes, you get crazy paranoid about how your body smells and you think everyone is talking about you. WHAT IF YOU DON'T LEAK GAS AT THAT MOMENT? SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE SNIFFLING BECAUSE THEY HAVE A DRIPPING NOSE.


Since there is no cure, live with it until you find one. When everything is wrong, we move along. BE INSPIRED. THIS F-ING SMELL SHALL NOT STOP US FROM LIVING OUR LIVES. F_CK LEAKY GAS. Peace out.







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