This will be long, as I have had IBS D/C (D-predominant for 27 years. It's been a long road with IBS, and I want to share my struggles so you know just how far I've come using hypnotherapy.
It began on the first day of school my junior year (1974) in my Modern American Literature class. During that first class, I noticed a girl get up to leave the room to go (I assumed) to the restroom. I thought "How embarassing, everyone knows where she's going." From that day on, I had to leave that first hour class to go to the restroom. At 8:20 each morning I would feel the urge to go. By 8:30-8:40 I couldn't take it anymore, and would leave the room. This is when my anxiety about my bowel patterns began. I began to worry about if I would have to go, what people thought if me, and that something must be wrong with me.
The avoidance behaviors began. I tried not to do anything in the mornings, which was always the worst time. As I went through high school and college, I began starting my day later and later, until finally, during my senior year of college, I didn't start classes til 1:00 pm. I was ok later in the day, if I felt I'd been emptied out I could carry on with normal activities.
As time went on, I'd have problems in other places. I always had to sit on the aisle seat of the classroom or theater, and be the driver of the car. Once I told someone driving that I had to stop, and they said "No, you're a grown-up, you can hold it." I didn't let anyone drive me anywhere again, til recently.
The first Dr. I went to said it was normal to go several times a day, and not to worry about it. But I DID worry about it, all the time it seemed. So I went to a psychiatrist. It was too difficult to sit in a closed room without a panic attack. She gave me a relaxation tape, and that was it.
I had two children by 1983. This was the most difficult time for me. I think a combination of being a young mother, working, going to school, trying to do what the modern woman was supposed to do, "Have it all," was too much stress. The panic attacks were horrible, and I was nearly housebound at this point.
My marriage was in trouble too, just adding more stress. We started marriage counselling, which lasted only a short time. I ended up staying with the psychologist for two years, trying to get help for my fear, panic, and stomach troubles. I was diagnosed as AGOROPHOBIC. The referring psychiatrist prescribed a tricyclic antidepressant, I think it was imipramine. It was horrible, giving me the worst C/D I ever had. The shrink finally ran out of things to talk about. Let me tell you, psychotherapy does NOTHING for IBS. At this point I still didn't even know I had IBS.
1989 now, and we took a trip to England to see my husband's family. I had no idea how I would make it, and went to see a hypnotherapist. He made a tape for my panic attacks and taught me relaxation techniques. It helped the panic, but my D and urgency was still a big problem.
I saw an ad in the paper for a talk by Lucinda Bassett about stress and anxiety. She could have been talking about me. I bought the stress and anxiety tape course. One of the tapes mentioned "IBS." This was the first time I'd heard the word, and finally, 17 years after my symptoms began, I knew what I had.
I went to my family Dr, so excited that I had discovered IBS. He said he had always known I had IBS, and that he didn't know I needed a "name" for it. Well I DID, I thought I was crazy all these years. He prescribed BuSpar and Levsin. I hated both. Then gave me Xanax, which was a help. I mentioned hypnotherapy to him, but he said he didn't believe in it.
On our 20th wedding anniversary, my husband and I went out to our favorite restaurant. I stopped at the restroom on the way out, and was in there for 30 minutes. My husband was waiting patiently. He was used to me by now. I had a horrible attack, but thought it was done. How could anyone have so much **** inside of them? But it wasn't over. On the ride home we got stuck in a traffic jam in a construction zone. Trapped, no way out. I couldn't hold it, and had my first episode of incontinence on my 20th wedding anniversary. I was horrified. My husband was understanding, telling me not to worry, I was obviously ill.
It was that episode that made me look for a good Dr. I went online, found the IFFGD and this BB. The IFFGD referred me to a terrific GI, Dr. Kevin Olden at Mayo Clinic Scottsdale, and he did a full workup on me. He sent me for PT and biofeedback. He got me on the proper dosages of medications (my GP prescribed me dosages too low to be effective) and supported my use of hypnotherapy. I had good success with it previously, and thought I would try Mike's tapes, which I found on the BB.
I started Mike's tapes with enthusiasm. Change was slow. I went from D to C/D to C to D and around and around. I finished the tapes and was happy with the little improvement I had, maybe 35% at that time. But it wasn't until about 3 months after completing the tapes that I really saw a BIG change. It was then that I noticed my D was gone. My BMs were normal, usually one daily, sometimes two. I can now "hold it" for hours. Sometimes, I'll drive in the car, and notice that I'm not even thinking about where the bathrooms are on the route. That always surprises me. The anxiety is greatly reduced, probably 90%. I sit in the middle of the theater sometimes. I drive with other people. I've been on two vacations, been on 8 airplanes trips, been on a boat with strangers, with no attacks. I was even relaxed and had fun.
At times the old thoughts make their way in. I shoo them away once I notice them. I have had two D attacks in the past 9 months. I can live with that.
I think it's been a combination of things that got me to this place. I still watch my diet, although I have added back some things that were triggers, such as salads and citrus fruits. I do use a fiber supplement. I no longer fear my anxiety which had caused me so much trouble in the past.
Bottom line is, Mike's tapes have been the best thing I've done for IBS. I'm more relaxed, my world no longer centers aroung when I'll have a BM, I'm a happier person, less crabby and less depressed. I'm a better Mom and a better wife. I'm more active, and I look forward to doing things I avoided in the past.
That's my story.
AZ
[This message has been edited by AZmom1 (edited 02-11-2001).]Edited to add recent
updateosted Sat Apr 29 2006 11:27 PM Hi everyone, AZmom here. Just thought I pop in to say hi and give a quick update. It has been at least 5 or 6 years now, since I used Mike's hypnotherapy program and am still doing great. IBS is a shadow now, it is in the back of my mind rather than dominating my life. I function very well day to day. Sometimes I am surprised to realize I haven't thought about IBS for a while, or find myself in a situation that used to put me in a panic. I think about the "what ifs..." once in a while, which was a huge problem before, but now I am able to get rid of the thought as soon as I recognize it.I still get D on occasion, but I can usually figure out why...consuming alcohol and allergies will always trigger an attack. I can shrug it off easily with "It's just my allergies, it's not the IBS returning." I guess mainly I have learned to under-react to IBS symptoms. I realize these are CBT techniques. I tried using them for years before I used Mike's program, but without the hypno to help me change my way of thinking CBT was not enough. There is life after IBS. I wish you all the best.AZ