I'm not new to this life... But I still find myself begging for this to end and wondering why I always have to be in pain and sick...
Ever since I can remember I have had "belly" issues. When I was little I remember diarrhea all of the time. I remember getting stomach aches every time I ate, whether it was two bites or ten.
Most of the time people just yelled at my mom for not forcing me to eat more, and as many issues as me and my mother have had over the years, I am extremely happy that she always believed my pain and never forced me to eat something I couldn't.
When I was around eight I had my first upper endoscopy and found that I had the beginnings of ulcers and that the tissue in the bottom inch or two of my esophagus was inflamed and that's why it hurt when I ate (it still does when I have had bad reflux days). I was put on zantac (the liquid is horrid!!) and they increased it a few times before I was 18 and by then I was on 300 mg twice a day... and It still wasn't helping...
I live in a constant state of nausea. it is more rare for me to not feel ill than it is for me to feel ill. Most mornings I wake up early and feel sick, sometimes have to sit in the bathroom for a while, and sometimes I just out right vomit.
I have two little boys, with my first I was 19 and so sick that I lost ten pounds the first month I knew I was pregnant and didn't start gaining weight back til I was almost five months pregnant.
With my second I miraculously had no heartburn for months and months, it finally came back when I was eight months pregnant, but just after I had him I breastfed and wasn't sick for ages! granted I had the occasional I ate too much, or ate something too greasy, but it was literally the first year of my life that I ate normal amounts of food! It lasted almost 10 months, but as soon as I was breastfeeding less I started loosing my appetite again and started loosing weight.
during that time, basically all of 2014, I was also doing really well with my abdominal pain, and by really well I mean only a few terrible days a month if that, but around thanksgiving I seemed to be sliding right back into my old ways...
I'm rarely hungry, tho I know I need to eat, I don't feel hungry per-say I just immediately feel sick...
So I have been eating less than i know i need to but can't force myself into that pain...
and the last few days I have been feeling something coming on but I tried to ignore it... well now since Sunday I have been having terrible cramps, diarrhea, vomiting from pain and pressure. it feels like someone shoved a lead weight in my stomach and nothing I do can make it go away...
honestly haven't eaten anything that has stayed down, and I can barely drink water without feeling like I need to immediately go to the bathroom...
I only slept an hour at a time last night... I kept waking up dizzy and sick to my stomach and needing to try to use the toilet again...
Most of my family thinks I am over reacting... (yea because going to the er where i hate needles and getting morphine for pain is over reacting....) My friends are very few these days, somewhat due to constant canceling... I don't like to eat at restaurants or have to feel like people are watching me and judging me on how much I don't eat... I don't do parties because I can't drink and I'm always worried I will destroy someones bathroom and have to move cities and change my name...
I'm getting very depressed from this lately... It was hard having a wonderful year where I felt like a normal functioning person and then back slide to the hell i'm use to.
My best friend in the whole world, we have known eachother since we were seven! (i'm 26 now) She has always been the one person to never judge me or minimize my pain. shes just there for me... whether its to pause the movie every time so i don't miss anything during a flare up, or holding my hair when I can't help but be ill...
She is taking me and my two boys to Oklahoma to visit her for two weeks in august, the only thing that worries me is that we are planning a trip to South Padre Island, Texas. It is a beautiful place with beaches everywhere, our hotel is only a few blocks from the ocean! This is the best trip I have ever planned and more than needed for me and my boys! did I mention we were homeless most of 2014?
I worry that when the time comes I will still be suffering in pain when I should be sitting on a beach! I have about 38 days before we make a 12 hour drive... i'm so nervous... But I wouldn't plan this trip with anyone else, because no matter what she will do everything in her power to help me and make sure we all have a good time If i didn't have her... i'm not sure I would survive this... or would have survived my childhood either!
i do have a boyfriend, we have been together eight years, he is the father of both of my children. I am in school to become an RN (cuz i'm stupid and love stress).
Well thanks for listening! If anyone has any suggestions? maybe a brand of probiotic? the one I tried I don't think it did much...
Ever since I can remember I have had "belly" issues. When I was little I remember diarrhea all of the time. I remember getting stomach aches every time I ate, whether it was two bites or ten.
Most of the time people just yelled at my mom for not forcing me to eat more, and as many issues as me and my mother have had over the years, I am extremely happy that she always believed my pain and never forced me to eat something I couldn't.
When I was around eight I had my first upper endoscopy and found that I had the beginnings of ulcers and that the tissue in the bottom inch or two of my esophagus was inflamed and that's why it hurt when I ate (it still does when I have had bad reflux days). I was put on zantac (the liquid is horrid!!) and they increased it a few times before I was 18 and by then I was on 300 mg twice a day... and It still wasn't helping...
I live in a constant state of nausea. it is more rare for me to not feel ill than it is for me to feel ill. Most mornings I wake up early and feel sick, sometimes have to sit in the bathroom for a while, and sometimes I just out right vomit.
I have two little boys, with my first I was 19 and so sick that I lost ten pounds the first month I knew I was pregnant and didn't start gaining weight back til I was almost five months pregnant.
With my second I miraculously had no heartburn for months and months, it finally came back when I was eight months pregnant, but just after I had him I breastfed and wasn't sick for ages! granted I had the occasional I ate too much, or ate something too greasy, but it was literally the first year of my life that I ate normal amounts of food! It lasted almost 10 months, but as soon as I was breastfeeding less I started loosing my appetite again and started loosing weight.
during that time, basically all of 2014, I was also doing really well with my abdominal pain, and by really well I mean only a few terrible days a month if that, but around thanksgiving I seemed to be sliding right back into my old ways...
I'm rarely hungry, tho I know I need to eat, I don't feel hungry per-say I just immediately feel sick...
So I have been eating less than i know i need to but can't force myself into that pain...
and the last few days I have been feeling something coming on but I tried to ignore it... well now since Sunday I have been having terrible cramps, diarrhea, vomiting from pain and pressure. it feels like someone shoved a lead weight in my stomach and nothing I do can make it go away...
honestly haven't eaten anything that has stayed down, and I can barely drink water without feeling like I need to immediately go to the bathroom...
I only slept an hour at a time last night... I kept waking up dizzy and sick to my stomach and needing to try to use the toilet again...
Most of my family thinks I am over reacting... (yea because going to the er where i hate needles and getting morphine for pain is over reacting....) My friends are very few these days, somewhat due to constant canceling... I don't like to eat at restaurants or have to feel like people are watching me and judging me on how much I don't eat... I don't do parties because I can't drink and I'm always worried I will destroy someones bathroom and have to move cities and change my name...
I'm getting very depressed from this lately... It was hard having a wonderful year where I felt like a normal functioning person and then back slide to the hell i'm use to.
My best friend in the whole world, we have known eachother since we were seven! (i'm 26 now) She has always been the one person to never judge me or minimize my pain. shes just there for me... whether its to pause the movie every time so i don't miss anything during a flare up, or holding my hair when I can't help but be ill...
She is taking me and my two boys to Oklahoma to visit her for two weeks in august, the only thing that worries me is that we are planning a trip to South Padre Island, Texas. It is a beautiful place with beaches everywhere, our hotel is only a few blocks from the ocean! This is the best trip I have ever planned and more than needed for me and my boys! did I mention we were homeless most of 2014?
I worry that when the time comes I will still be suffering in pain when I should be sitting on a beach! I have about 38 days before we make a 12 hour drive... i'm so nervous... But I wouldn't plan this trip with anyone else, because no matter what she will do everything in her power to help me and make sure we all have a good time If i didn't have her... i'm not sure I would survive this... or would have survived my childhood either!
i do have a boyfriend, we have been together eight years, he is the father of both of my children. I am in school to become an RN (cuz i'm stupid and love stress).
Well thanks for listening! If anyone has any suggestions? maybe a brand of probiotic? the one I tried I don't think it did much...