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Hi there! I am desperately seeking advice on my situation and I think that you guys would understand better than anyone else. Basically, I'm in a committed relationship (1 year now) and we plan on getting married. There have been two episodes which have made me question whether it's the right decision (one of which is a fresh wound from tonight). Basically, I have not been to the doctor about IBS, but I'm 99% sure that I have it. It has plagued me throughout menstruation (horrible, horrible diarrhea on top of the cramping) but now it has started occuring more frequently at other times. A few weeks ago I had an episode as we were driving home. I informed the boyfriend that I needed to get home as quickly as possible as it was an emergency and I needed to use the bathroom. He proceeded to pull into a gas station (even though gas wasn't urgent) and I informed him that I needed to go home right then. What did he do? He filled up the car and then he CHECKED THE OIL. I was furious. I don't know how I made it home. Then, tonight we decided to take a nice walk and we parked the car in Boston and headed out. Well, about 15 minutes later I had horrible cramping and I had to get to a bathroom immediately. I informed him that I was in a lot of pain and needed to get to a bathroom. As I ran towards the mall, he got pissed and said that we weren't going anywhere after and that we were just going home (apparently he was punishing me for my suffering). When we got to the mall, the first two bathrooms we tried were closed (they closed at 9 and we got there at 9:15 or so) so I had to run to the other side of the mall. Well, he had the nerve to tell me to slow down. After I finally found a bathroom, I flipped a lid. I was SO FURIOUS that he would do that to me. Not only had he asked me to slow down, he yelled three to four times that we were going home because I had ruined the evening with something I couldn't control. We got into a huge fight (crying and all) and I told him it was over because he was a selfish idiot. Ofcourse, he just said he didn't know how serious it was and thought I just had to go #2. Anyway, I'm still EXTREMELY upset about the whole situation. What would you do in this situation?Obviously, I'm making an appointment too because this is getting too difficult to bare. I have episodes all of the time now (those two were with him but I've had NUMEROUS episodes aside from being in his presence). Please advice. Thank you in advance!
 

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Hi Janieee,First I would go to a GI doctor and get a proper diagnoses and treatment. There are medications and diet changes that can really help you live almost symptom free. It has for me I am on a antispasmodic Donnatal and anxiety medication that is not a antidepressant named Buspar. My medication give me zero side effects and only relief from the IBS. Ok I can relate to your boyfriend too my husband of 17 years was like your boyfriend at first then he had no choice it was me with the IBS or not me. We would just make changes to our plans to adapt to the IBS like my hubbys work Christmas party. Every year it's at a really big hotel and we just get a room every year which makes it easy to use the bathroom if I need to in my hotel room then return to the party. If were out and I get a bout with D then I say get me to a bathroom now and the look I give him he knows I mean it. What I found really helpful is if when I am having a bout with D and were out to keep calm I almost shut myself down on the inside and my hubby quiets down too he knows if he starts complaining it's only going to get worse for us both. If he loves you he will adapt and your IBS condition & you will grow and get used to ways to handle it together.I would have him look over this site and read other people who are just like you. If not print out some post to show him how other people are dealing with IBS.
 

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Hi Janieee,First I would go to a GI doctor and get a proper diagnoses and treatment. There are medications and diet changes that can really help you live almost symptom free. It has for me I am on a antispasmodic Donnatal and anxiety medication that is not a antidepressant named Buspar. My medication give me zero side effects and only relief from the IBS. Ok I can relate to your boyfriend too my husband of 17 years was like your boyfriend at first then he had no choice it was me with the IBS or not me. We would just make changes to our plans to adapt to the IBS like my hubbys work Christmas party. Every year it's at a really big hotel and we just get a room every year which makes it easy to use the bathroom if I need to in my hotel room then return to the party. If were out and I get a bout with D then I say get me to a bathroom now and the look I give him he knows I mean it. What I found really helpful is if when I am having a bout with D and were out to keep calm I almost shut myself down on the inside and my hubby quiets down too he knows if he starts complaining it's only going to get worse for us both. If he loves you he will adapt and your IBS condition & you will grow and get used to ways to handle it together.I would have him look over this site and read other people who are just like you. If not print out some post to show him how other people are dealing with IBS.
 

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Okay....I am not one to even mention breaking up to anyone....you are the one in the relationship not me....however my husband is completely understanding and floors the gas to get me home. Maybe you need to print out some info. on IBS and show him or read it to him...(I don't know if he's the type to listen about it) But it is sure worth a try...I think as long as he understands the urgency of having to go right away he will assist you!!! If he still acts like a jerk when you have an episode maybe you need to put the wedding off...or cancel it all together. Sorry to say but if he doesn't change his opinion on your need to get to a bathroom, I believe they're plenty of guys who will!!!! And make sure you get to the doctor! However I went to the doctor about 2 months ago and my symptoms have not subsided. Good Luck in getting the IBS under control and also with your boyfriend
Sicky
 

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Okay....I am not one to even mention breaking up to anyone....you are the one in the relationship not me....however my husband is completely understanding and floors the gas to get me home. Maybe you need to print out some info. on IBS and show him or read it to him...(I don't know if he's the type to listen about it) But it is sure worth a try...I think as long as he understands the urgency of having to go right away he will assist you!!! If he still acts like a jerk when you have an episode maybe you need to put the wedding off...or cancel it all together. Sorry to say but if he doesn't change his opinion on your need to get to a bathroom, I believe they're plenty of guys who will!!!! And make sure you get to the doctor! However I went to the doctor about 2 months ago and my symptoms have not subsided. Good Luck in getting the IBS under control and also with your boyfriend
Sicky
 

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Sounds like he needs a hidden dose of laxatives in his dinner, and for you to go in the bathroom and lock the door ...
If he doesn't gain some insight into your condition then, nothing will
More information is needed before I can advise - have you clearly explained your symptoms to him ? I would inform him about it in graphic detail. (ie if you don't get home now I'm going to poo my pants)If he doesn't get his act into gear after that, I would seriously reasess how "committed" he really is to you. Committment is more than just being exclusive, you need to be in a loving, caring, considerate relationship before you start talking marriage. Consideration is the only thing that will get you through the long years ahead, after lust and being "in love" wear off - that's the thing that will keep your relationship going.
 

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Sounds like he needs a hidden dose of laxatives in his dinner, and for you to go in the bathroom and lock the door ...
If he doesn't gain some insight into your condition then, nothing will
More information is needed before I can advise - have you clearly explained your symptoms to him ? I would inform him about it in graphic detail. (ie if you don't get home now I'm going to poo my pants)If he doesn't get his act into gear after that, I would seriously reasess how "committed" he really is to you. Committment is more than just being exclusive, you need to be in a loving, caring, considerate relationship before you start talking marriage. Consideration is the only thing that will get you through the long years ahead, after lust and being "in love" wear off - that's the thing that will keep your relationship going.
 

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PS, If it doesn't work out, I would be thanking IBS rather than cursing it - it definitely helps weed out the "good blokes" from the "not so good". Better to find out early on if your relationship can make it through the tough times - than after with a divorce lawyer.
 

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PS, If it doesn't work out, I would be thanking IBS rather than cursing it - it definitely helps weed out the "good blokes" from the "not so good". Better to find out early on if your relationship can make it through the tough times - than after with a divorce lawyer.
 

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He sounds like the boyfriend i had before this one. he would sigh loudly, get a sulky face and go (loud) 'OH GOD, NOT AGAIN' if i had to go to the loo while we were out. and complain about how long i'd been when i got out. again, loudly.i was engaged to him too. i just thank god he dumped me (i didn't have the basic horsesense or guts to dump him at the time).he sounds like a creepy loser. i would kick him to the kerb without a second thought. sorry, this probably isn't what you want to hear.
 

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He sounds like the boyfriend i had before this one. he would sigh loudly, get a sulky face and go (loud) 'OH GOD, NOT AGAIN' if i had to go to the loo while we were out. and complain about how long i'd been when i got out. again, loudly.i was engaged to him too. i just thank god he dumped me (i didn't have the basic horsesense or guts to dump him at the time).he sounds like a creepy loser. i would kick him to the kerb without a second thought. sorry, this probably isn't what you want to hear.
 

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Janie, First, By *all* means get to a Doc and get a diagnosis. That is really important.Secondly, if it does turn out that you have IBS, please click on the link below and print this brochure off for your family, b/f and friends so they have a better understanding of what it is like to have IBS. This brochure was written by someone who has IBS and it was written specifically for the loved ones of those that have IBS.Here it is: http://www.ibsgroup.org/main/aboutibs.html But please do get to a Doctor for a true diagnosis. Diagnosing oneself is never a good idea.BQ
 

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Janie, First, By *all* means get to a Doc and get a diagnosis. That is really important.Secondly, if it does turn out that you have IBS, please click on the link below and print this brochure off for your family, b/f and friends so they have a better understanding of what it is like to have IBS. This brochure was written by someone who has IBS and it was written specifically for the loved ones of those that have IBS.Here it is: http://www.ibsgroup.org/main/aboutibs.html But please do get to a Doctor for a true diagnosis. Diagnosing oneself is never a good idea.BQ
 

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Hi Janieee
. Sorry to hear about your problem. Not knowing either of you personally I don't feel qualified to give you advice on whether to stay or go as that's a biggie. There are obviously some other issues (we all have 'em) here that need to be worked out before marriage. What's concerning is his lack of respect for you when you say you need a bathroom now
. My advice would be to weigh the whole relationship than see if he wants to work on problems areas before walking down the aisle. Best of wishes and prayers are sent your way.
 

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Hi Janieee
. Sorry to hear about your problem. Not knowing either of you personally I don't feel qualified to give you advice on whether to stay or go as that's a biggie. There are obviously some other issues (we all have 'em) here that need to be worked out before marriage. What's concerning is his lack of respect for you when you say you need a bathroom now
. My advice would be to weigh the whole relationship than see if he wants to work on problems areas before walking down the aisle. Best of wishes and prayers are sent your way.
 
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