The horrible IBS flare I had last Christmas has caused me to develop an irrational fear of most anything that may lead to another one. I am afraid to take meds because I fear they'll upset my stomach. I am afraid to eat many foods and it's hard for me to try new foods because I am afraid to eat something that will trigger my IBS. I am absolutely terrified of antibiotics because there's only ever been one kind that didn't make me really sick (penicillin) and I am now allergic to it. Every other antibiotic I have ever had has made me horribly sick, just awful diarrhea and some make me vomit (especially on an empty stomach). I get extremely scared whenever I feel my IBS acting up. Whenever I feel that rumbling in my stomach, queasy feeling I get just before a bad diarrhea episode I get scared, but I also get scared when I start feeling constipated, too at least when it makes me feel crampy, bloated, and nauseous. I think nausea and vomiting are my biggest fears. I think I might even be slightly emetophobic, because I pretty much have anxiety attacks when I feel like I might vomit, it scares me so much. I just got the results of my annual pelvic exam and pap smear back and it was normal, but the doctor found that I have bacterial vaginosis and said I could either wait and see if it goes away on it's own or I can go on a week of antibiotics. I will be calling her an telling her I want to wait and see, because the thought of going on antibiotics terrifies me. But if it doesn't go away by itself I'll have to take the antibiotics and I don't think I'll be able to bring myself to take them because I know they make my stomach really upset. Being afraid of medications is not a good thing, sometimes they are necessary to keep you alive and if I am afraid of them and can't bring myself to take them, depending on what kind of medication it is, I could potentially put my life in danger because of an irrational fear of being sick and of having my stomach be upset like it was during my horrible IBS flare last Christmas. I mean I am literally afraid of my IBS symptoms, afraid of abdominal pain, nausea(which I get with diarrhea and sometimes with constipation, too), diarrhea, constipation, and especially of vomiting. I am quite literally afraid of being sick, especially when it affects my stomach/bowels. This anxiety over health issues is taking over my life. I feel so trapped and I am always scared. I just want my life back!! I really do think that the IBS flare I had at Christmas has caused or at least exacerbated my anxiety concerning my health. It was traumatic, being in the emergency room, the excruciating pain, and feeling so horrible I couldn't eat anything and even drinking water made it worse, it was awful. And then just when I was starting to feel better and get back into the swing of my life, I had an ovarian cyst in March which caused me more horrible abdominal pain and diarrhea, and led to another trip to the ER. That trip to the ER was even more traumatic than the December/January ones because I had to have a CAT scan and in order for it to work I had to drink 3 16oz glasses of lemonade with contrast die in them. I got 2 down and then threw it all up. I drank the last one and then went for my CAT scan. It was awful, I kept telling the nurse I couldn't drink all that lemonade, that I was already feeling full after 1 glass, that I felt nauseous already after just 1 glass but he kept telling me I had to drink all of them, that I had to get all that dye into me so they could see what was going on inside me on the CAT scan and he got mad when I threw up the lemonade with the dye in it. It was so horrible! They also gave me morphine for the abdominal pain and everything felt totally unreal. I felt sleepy and out of it but keyed up and anxious all at once. It was so bad!! Heavy narcotics are not for me. It also took like 3 days for the morphine to get out of my system. I never want to take morphine again in my life. All in all it was an awful, traumatic experience that I never want to repeat and it has led to a lot of my health fears. I am so scared and I don't want to be scared anymore!!! It is hard not to be scared when you suffer from IBS which is such an unpredictable health condition. It also doesn't help when you have stressful, traumatic health related experiences(like my trips to the ER) that feed the fear. Does anyone else have fears like this that seem to stem from bad experiences with your health? Can anyone else relate to what I am going through? Please help me figure out what to do, because I am totally lost and have no idea what to do.