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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've been dealing with IBS since I was a teenager although I was diagnosed recently. I am 44. Over the years I've developed an inability to have a BM if anyone else is anywhere nearby. Even if I am alone behind a closed door. Over the years I found a balance with metamucile, small meals, etc. and I can usually keep myself fairly regular. BUT if I don't have absolute privacy I cannot go. Then whammo, I'll be on the IBS roller coaster. This inhibits my ability to travel (can't stay with friends) and if I have to go at work, I have to go home. I think it comes from knowing how damn long it takes me to go and feeling self concious about taking up the space. Anyone got a similar problem? Suggestions?
 

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I'm exactly like you DEGG. Hubby the kids and myself were sleeping over at my mother in law. In the morning i woke up early enough thinking i'd be ok to go but nothing would happen. Mother in law got up a bit after me and was making coffee ect. She only has one bathroom and i felt like i was rushed. I drove home (one hour away) just to be able to go. If I would have stayed at her house i would have been in major pain that day. I understand your ibs rolercoaster. If i'm with just my family i'm ok. If someone is taying at my house i can go to my own washroom in my bedroom, no disturbances. Traveling is very difficult for me. I can't have anyone stay with us the hotel room. Camping would be absolute horror. I can imagine myself bloated, constipated, gassy and in pain in my bathingsuit... not a pretty picture.
 
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Hi - My name is Laureen I have had this same problem since I was a child. I used to go to a boarding school and couldn't go sometimes for days or weeks until I could get some privacy and some time to push things out. I still have the problem, but using some of the suggestions on this board, my movements are easier. I take magnesium and a product called Elimination Formula #1, a combination which has contributed to going almost every day.I feel like a queen when that happens. If I am not moving, I use a glycerine suppository and usually go within 1 to 15 minutes. Best of luck, Laureen
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks all of you for responding to my note. My ex-husband had a very hard time dealing with my "issues". He loved camping and all of our get aways ended up being with a bunch of other people and his family. Once we went to his family's cottage, 14 people and one bathroom! I was miserable. I've found that if I am stuck staying with other people, I bring an alarm clock and wake myself up at least an hour before I imagine anyone else will wake. Then I literally sneak into the bathroom and try to relax. For some reason, shopping catalogs seem to distract me the best. They are mindless and not art (I can't see pooping while reading someone's master piece). By the way, my new husband is quite supportive and gives me the space I need.
 

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That's me for sure you're talking about! No way can I go with anybody around. It's hard even with my husband and/or kids. My whole family kids me about it! Camping with friends or anybody else for that matter?? Nope, not me. I always have to take laxatives when I travel and my husband always gives me the space I need-he goes out to breakfast by himself while I have time to relax and poop. Poor guy! I cannot share a hotel room with anybody but him-can't do it. I've missed out on trips with girlfriends, all sorts of things. When we visit family, we always stay in a hotel. I won't stay in anyone else's home because I'd be totally miserable. You're not alone but it's no fun because it limits our lives so much.
 

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Thanks for bringing up this relevant topic which is very difficult to discuss and even more difficult for most people to understand. I just came back from a two week vacation. Of course I have to have a 2 bed 2 bathroom condo or I would be almost unable to go to the bathroom. We drive down to southern alabama so we have to spend a night in a dumpy motel room; it is so awful - It is like my sphincters just close up-can hardly go at all. it is awful. The other problem is that I am so rituatlized and have to have such structured conditions to go (can't go at all without mag supplements), that it almost ruins everything. For example, there is a time change(one hour behind michigan time); so in order to keep on schedule I get up at 4:30 am to go the first time (it would 5:30am in mich); then I have to stay sitting up for an hour to go the second time. If I am at home i wake up at 5:30, sit at my computer and take care of this stuff. but in a hotel room it is really tough; I hate this ritualization but what can I do. The other really bad thing is if there is anyone else in our home besides my husband i can't go at all so when his daughter visits for three days, forget it; it is just dreadful. I can't explain this to my husband because it sounds so weird; glad i can talk about it here and know there are others like me.
 

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I have the same problem you folks have described.In response I thought I'd pass along an experience you might find interesting, if not suggestive. While on vacation, my husband suggested he might give me a couple of Ducolax supps. and then go for a walk on the beach - which during the week I might add is usually quite deserted. Well, as any of you may know when the supps. kick in you have to go, privacy or not, with your pants up or down.He helped me make the decision by helping me unbotton and sat beside me on a log while I let Mother Nature take over. After three days it really felt great as you can imagine. The additional benefit came later as we discussed the issue further deciding to continue this togetherness when ever the need arose, either with the help of laxatives or naturally; admitting he found it rather stimulating. The results have been quite fulfilling in more ways than one.Just wondering if any of you have tried similiar techniques to add some togetherness or sharing in what should be a natural function.
 

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I guess in many ways I'm lucky since I'm single and I p refer to travel alone. I have a close friend who I visit occasionally but she has 2 bathrooms, so I can manage. However, now a trip is coming up to visit family in NY and altho only my sister and her husband, there is only one bathroom. My personal preference is to stay in a motel in the vicinity but she would be upset. Any ideas on how I can make her understand the problem and not be mad at me. Your thoughts, please. Thanks, Phyllis
 

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well, i'm just like everybody else who posted on this thread and my solution has been: boundaries boundaries boundaries. thank god i have an understanding partner and now i just tell his siblings or whoever that we prefer to stay in a local motel or hotel because it's easier for me who has an incredibly complicated and long morning routine. i don't go into details about my bowels but i do say that i need to smoke, indoors, in the morning and will not give up my morning tobacco addiction and that's the end of it. and it happens to be true. i find most people will willingly not have a smoker in their house, thank god. this way i get to have my privacy and my cigarettes without which i can't poop anyway. LOL g-
 

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My situation is diferent, i have been doing the exact opposite to whats recommended for my IBS, for example, if i am not supposed to eath red meat i do, if i am not supposed to drink alcohol i do, if i am not supposed to feel better drinking soda, i do. This is my own personal opinion and my experience, but i think theres plenty of habits and perferences that we IBS sufferers develop on our own, i do eat a balanced diet with plenty of healthy foods, but the most important thing i look out for in myself, is the level of stress, if i am relaxed and happy for a few days my IBS almost seems to disapear, but if i am stressed and worried it doesn't matter where i am and what i do i simply can't go.My way of dealing with IBS is not to let it dominate me (even do some times it does),i do the things i want and i live as much normal a life as i can, and IBS has to deal with that because i am not handing my happiness to it anytime soon.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
This is a response to the idea of bathroom time being ritualistic. I have always felt like such a freak in that I have to have shopping catalogues to look at in the bathroom. If I can't have catalogues or if I am still having trouble, I actually have to toss things on the floor. Yep, throwing an earring or a ball of TP helps for some reason. I almost always experience a cramping pain when I poop and for some reason if I don't have the catalogues (or if I'm not relaxed enough), the cramping gets worse. When I toss something on the floor, somehow I relax a bit and it helps. I think that is pretty weird. I throw balls of TP, my jewelry, or typical bathroom objects like a bottle of shampoo. Travel size personal products are perfect. If I am traveling and staying at someone elses house, I get up when everyone is asleep. I bring little things to throw (or find them in the bathroom) and I am sure to bring catalogues. I have to be careful not to make too much noise because if anyone wakes up, forget it, I can't go.
 

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When my husband and I go visit his daughter out of state, she and her husband wanted us to stay at their home; well, i knew that would not work so i told my husband to tell her that i preferred to stay in a motel because of allergies (she has two large dogs) and because I like privacy; they accept it and that is it. Unfortunately when his daughter and her husband come to our home I can't leave although i would like to and I can hardly go to the bathroom when they are here--
 
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