Hi everybody, I am new here. Have been keeping an eye on these forums for a while.I suffer badly from IBS. I have had it for nearly five years. On average I go to the toliet for a No2 about 8-10 times a day. I suffer from anxiety and depression like most people on here. For some reason every single night for the last five years I have herendous bowel spasms. They click on at about 10pm and go right through the night making it extremely hard to sleep. I get about 2-3 hours sleep. I am unemployed at the moment because of the IBS, so the days are easier to cope with insomnia. I was wondering does anybody else get bowel spasms all the way through the night?I have taken almost every medication available to calm IBS and not one has decent enough efects. I have tried all the anti spasmodics and they have no effect what so ever. I have tried multiple herbal remedies etc. Stress therapy, relaxation techniques, hypnotherapy, acupuncture, chinese medicine and realised that my case is too far gone for recovery. I had a private test done that stated I had a yeast infection, I took oregano oil for two months, whether it is gone or not I don't know. I am also on citalopram once a day and take loperamide every few days to try and slow it down but all to no avail.My problem is that I have a dream, I am chasing to become a filmmaker. But feeling ill constantly makes it extremely hard to achieve. I have lost nearly all contact with all my friends, I can only presume they think I am complete failure and am ignoring them at all costs when I have to cancel things, (recently cancelled a holiday to spain with friends), I am unemployed, I tried a trial as a kitchen porter, but as it was extremely busy I ended up in severe unbearable pain for three days with diarrohea. This was a reality check telling me that whatever job I get full time(which I will have to do) will cause chronic pain and only further my depression.I took an overdose last year. I get suicidal a lot and cannot talk to anyone about it. Recently a policemen found me in my car in a car park at night with my head on the steering wheel and unable to move because I was on the verge of hanging myself. He thought I was drinking or had taken drugs and called up my parents. I am now very anti social.I still think about suicide but there are short periods of time in the day when I feel better in the day and am a lot happier. This is exactly how I would feel if I didn't have IBS. I am incredibly jealous of some people.I have a passion for my dream and think I could suffer the pain in order to achive it but there are times when I slump incredibly low and think this is the last time. I have tried nearly every treatment there is but feel free to put some ideas down, whether I've tried them or not.I'm sorry if I sound depressed but my life has been completely destroyed and yet everyone around me thinks there is nothing wrong with me.