Hi there,I tried posting to the relationships forum, but it wouldn't work-so here goes. I am at a really down point right now, having seperated from my husband of 9 years for the past 8 months and trying to get back to work full time when my bowels continue to work against me. I have pain everyday, diarrhea,fatigue and dizzyness- so it is a challenge maintaining a happy disposition to say the least! I went from being angry with my husband that he would turn against me when I needed his support the most (ie. he started agreeing with his mother that I had an eating disorder and/or mental problem--not IBS,whatever that is!) to being sad that 11 years together would boil down to fighting over assets. We finally resolved everything, but instead of elation I feel sadness. I am quite depressed now and last night actually thought of throwing myself under a bus- although I know this is not the answer either. I have not had suicidal thoughts before, so this is a big admission on my part. I hope this depression lifts eventually..it is just so hard dealing with lost love/broken heart, job stress on top of IBS everyday. Sometimes I just want to stay in bed and not get out! My friends/coworkers are all going on about how I can start 'dating' again--but the thought just leaves me cold. I am not ready to meet someone else and everytime I think about it, my IBS acts up. My experience with my husband has not given me much faith in men that will stick around with IBS to deal with. I am hoping by posting this that some men on the BB will provide some encouragement that there are good men out there. I used to be really outgoing and others consider me attractive, but I just don't know how I would tell someone new about my IBS, nor how I would deal with the stress of dating again. I think I will end up being a lonely young lady with a cat and a tv remote at this rate! Last night was a particular low point for me because I kissed a married friend of mine and know that I was just looking for 'love in all the wrong places', whereas he was just getting a thrill. Is this what my life is reduced to?! Maybe there will come a day when the medical community will address IBS properly, but how do I live my best life in the meantime? It gets so lonely sometimes that I want to scream. I am sad that my husband and I could not remain friends- he is too angry/bitter right now and focusing on money he is losing, then on losing me, unfortunately. I still crave to have his friendship--I guess that tells you how lonely I really am-but we had many good years together, just when I got IBS did he turn away from me. Anyways, sorry for the length of this one, but I need some encouraging voices right now....thanks!