I am scared, my IBS is so bad that I dont think I can ever go on another date. I am in my mid twentys and have no reason to be trapped in a routine of bathrooms, how will I ever explain this condition to someone?
1. What have you tried to control it?AntidiarrhealsPrescription Osmotic laxatives(may depend on what symptoms are bothering you)AntidepressantsAntispasmodicsMineral supplements (Calcium for diarrhea, Magnesium for constipation)Herbs (peppermint, chamomile, slippery elm, aloe and others)QuestranDietary modificationCognitive Behavioral TherapyHypnotherapyBiofeedback....to start the list of things which may work for you.MOST people over time will find something or some combination of things that control the IBS and gets them out of the bathroom.It is NOT the case that once you have IBS there is absolutely no hope, no treatment, and nothing will ever get any better than it will right now.2. If you click on Home above there is a link to Molly's Brochure which is fairly good at explaining IBS to people that do not have it.You may not know that 15% or so of people HAVE IBS so there are bunches of people out there who will have first hand understanding of what you are going through either because they have it, or someone they know well has it.K.
I have the same troubles you do. Actually, I'm not scared of spending the whole date in the bathroom...but most dates consist of food and/or alcohol. Okay. Alcohol wreaks havoc on my digestive system! And I am scared to eat away from home; if I didn't make the food, I don't know what's in it, and I don't know how my body will react to it. And instead of being a party pooper (no pun intended) by spending the entire evening not eating or drinking like "normal people," or trying to explain my situation to someone I don't know very well and therefore am not comfortable enough to confide in, I just don't date.I figure one of these days I will meet someone who will understand, so I try not to worry about being single. It is hard, though.
Don't allow your IBS to ruin this part of your life. When I was dating, I was very open with the people I dated, and found the men I dated to be very understanding. If you don't want to eat anything, don't eat. A date is about getting to know each other and to have fun together. You don't have to eat or drink to accomplish this. I rarely, if ever, ate on dates. I still limit my eating out to very specific situations and places. I told the wonderful man I am now married to that I had IBS problems even before our first date. I think you will find that people you are open and honest with will generally be understanding and will most likely know people in their own lives that have the same problem. Furthermore, you might be surprised to find the person you are on a date with has the same problem you do!!!! If you are on a date with someone who gives you a hard time about it, you probably don't want to be with that person anyway!!!! ~JR~
karenkayon't despair. I found a wonderful and supportive boyfriend post-IBSD. I have had IBSD, on and off, since I was a teenager. It got much worse after 9/11. I live in NY. So around Thanksgiving, I met this wonderful new guy and, of course, was totally freaked out by the prospect of dating him because my tummy had been so damn irritable . Around the third or fourth day, I decided to tell him because I thought it was better for him to know before anything bad happened. Naturally, the very night I told him that I had IBS, and explained to him what it is exactly, I had an attack and he had to chase his roomate out of the bathroom so I could get in it.He's been wonderfully supportive ever since. He knows that when I'm sick, I need to stay close to a potty and he's pretty understanding about the limitations I sometimes experience. It's up to you at what point you you're comfortable with telling someone what's going on with you and IBS. But I think if something goes beyond a 3rd date, it's safe to let them know that you have a chronic condition. In the meantime, take some of the suggestions listed above or try Caltrate 600, which has helped me alot. Someone, somewhere else on the board said, "Support is when they're running ahead of you looking for a bathroom." I'm lucky enough to have found just the kind of guy who will do this for me and I'm sure you will too.
Karen...ironically I just got back from a blind date myself.
I know its so old; but truly you just have to be yourself. If part of yourself is having IBS and having some problems, well that is a part of you they have to accept. I told the guy tonight about my IBS and he asked many questions. It was a sign to me that he was a decent guy. We actually went out to dinner and movie; so a perfect time for us was at dinner. I almost use my IBS as a screening time for guys.
when he asked me about it I told him some basics and then offerred Molly's brochure to send him. He said yes, so I know he wants to know all about me; which is the sign of a keeper.Kmottus had some great suggestions for the getting out part. You may go through a lot of duds and a lot of heartache to find the right one; IBS may even make that harder. The right person will come along; for you and me. (I'm 29)
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