[LJones]

I recently broke up with my bf of about three years and I've been talking to a couple of people but nothing really serious. Anyway, have any of you found it difficult to tell dates about IBS or have trouble deciding what to do on dates because most of the dates I get asked out on consist of dinner and drinks or something. It's so frustrating. Tell me what you guys think.Oh, and if you do tell someone, how do they react?

 

[Auroraheart]

I am a very open person, and if it comes up, I tell someone what IBS is. I put a positive spin on it, saying how it helps me eat healthier and how it made me appreciate the "little things" in life more. If I go out to eat and seem to have problems finding something IBS friendly on a menu, I'll explain that I have a few foods that "bother" me. If they ask after that I tell them a bit about my IBS. I tell them it is very common, but that many people don't know the name for it, and some people have it worse than others. If the date and I know in advance where we are going, I know to steer the restaurant choice from spicy places, sushi etc that I know will bother me.Actually, seeing how someone reacts to me having IBS lets me know what kind of person this guy is. If I see horror written on their face, I know they are not going to be the best person to depend on when the going gets rough. If they ask questions, I know they have an open mind.If I go out for drinks with a guy, I'll get something nonalcoholic generally. A pineapple and sprite, or make a joke and actually get a Shirley Temple. (tell him I'm reliving my youth!) Or saying I am on some antibiodics that I can't drink if I am still feeling the guy out if I should tell him I have IBS. If they press too much I also take that as a bad sign and I have been quite direct in the past about it. "Whaddya tryin' to get me drunk to take advantage of me?" with a smile lets them know to back off.Anyways...that's all I can think of now. Sorry to hear about you and your ex.

 

[kerrang_girl]

I have been going ouit with my boyfriend for abour 5 months now. He told me about his IBS problem about a month after were we dating. I didn't actually think much of it seeing as i had no idea what it was. But i figured it was pretty bad because he was very embarrassed to tell me about it. After actually realising what it involves etc I felt really sorry for him and i try to be there for him as much as possible. I think it is important to tell the person you are seeing about your condition so they can relate to it and understand what you are going through, otherwise they can't be there for you as much. If they don't liek what you say and don't want to see you anymore then they're not worth it. Thats also another reason why you should tell the person early on in the realtionship, so you're not as close to them if they decide to leave because of your condition - if they do then they're definately not worth worrying about!Goodluck in love!!!!!!!!

Kat xxxx

 

[JenS]

L, It sucks, uh? I always go through the same thing--when and how do I tell a guy about my problems. I usually wait until the 3rd or 4th date but I kinda play it by ear - depending on the guy and his personality.

 

[CaseyL]

I put off telling my now-husband about my IBS for a long time when we were dating. I just didn't know how to bring it up and I get really embarrassed talking about it. I was very careful about what I ate when we went out and always took Imodium before hand. Well, one day he proceded to tell me about his problems with C and hemorrhoids in the past and it turned out that he saw the same dr that did my anal fissure surgery. That of course broke the ice and I spilled my whole story. (Kind of ironic that I am D type and he is more on the C side - you'd think we'd balance each other out!). Looking back now, he is so kind and understanding that I could have told him about it on our first date and it wouldn't have fazed him a bit. You can usually get a feel for the kind of person he is after the first few dates and then decide whether he will be understanding or not. Good luck.

 

[Ty]

I'd wait for the "right" situation to come up. Like he asks why you can eat that or something similar. Then just say you have a digestive disorder. If asks more questions, then give him more details, but no need to start listing medical problems out of the blue. Just my two cents

 

[NZChick]

Hi. I told my boyfriend (now of 4 months) that I had tummy troubles on the first night I saw him... the opportunity arose (it was a wedding) and I couldn't eat hardly anything they served there! I told him a little more each time I saw him. He still doesn't know to what extent it really affects my life (we only see each other a few times a week), and he doesn't know all my symptoms (although he's heard most of the embarrasing ones)!

I had to "feel my way and see how he reacted. People are right though in saying if they can't handle it early on, better to know before you get too attached, there's only so long you can hide it.