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Day One.................Again (sigh)

923 views 14 replies 7 participants last post by  jane93 
#1 ·
Hi Gang, I feel like a hypno flunky. And not too terribly bright at the moment. But I don't think I can expect my current flare to go away without re-listening to the whole program again. I don't think the first go 'round was effective on my C/D symptoms. It took me awhile to figure out that I had focused the hypno primarily on my pain symptom (which has been extremely effective) and not the C or D. So from what I understand I have to re-listen & not focus it on anything in particular, which I'm not sure how to do. I thought the idea was to apply the images to our symptoms but I guess not. I dunno really.All I know is I have had two days in a row now where I'm back to eating just rice with just a teeny bit of lean protein. The urgency of old isn't back exactly like it was. I'd say it was somewhat urgent, watery D right now. I've had to take a few Levsin in order to leave the house. I kinda hate this. So I'm hoping to somehow figure out what "not focusing it on anything" means & hoping (somewhat weakly)that this will work.Any help? thoughts?BQ
 
#2 ·
#4 ·
HI BQ...OK, I will come right out and say it!!! On my original post I truly stated what I thought was the deal. That is not having to redo the whole sessions. I based my reply to you on my own experience, and that of several folks here who did NOT have results until a good 6 months after full completion of the session. When Mike responded that you should redo the sessions with focusing on the C/D this time. So I felt that my email was in contradiction to his, so I pulled it!
I later emailed him and he said my reply was fine too. Some people take time to have their subconscious sort things out. So it really is totally up to you. You may start to see help in your C/D symptoms as time goes on whether or not you restart the session. Mike felt that redoing the sessions never hurts anything, and if that is what you feel you need to do, there is no harm in it. No, you are not a hypno flunky! I am battling D and pain still at this time; though I am not incapacitated like I used to be. But remember, your subconscious is dealing with the issues that are most needed first. For you, it was the pain. Since you have had success with the pain, there is no reason why that success can't build upon itself and then be applied to your C/D. So I once again reapply my first post, which I shouldn't have deleted in the first place. Mike said it complemented his reply....the choice is yours!!! As far as focusing goes. This is my take on it. Just listen to the sound of his voice and the words/not really their meaning. The subconscious applies it where it needs to go. No need to even really listen specifically to the content. YOu do not need to actively participate. (Thus if you fall asleep, it still gets in there!.) AZ mom could not tell you word one from the sessions...even after she totally completed them. She is now doing great! You are like me, BQ...we have health issues, and home issues (well, who doesn't?
) and so it all has to be sorted in the mind. Don't despair!!! So my take on this "don't focus" is just drift along like you are half-dozing. Sort of like when you are driving, and you get there, but don't even remember the trip! You yourself are totally free to chose whether you want to stop the sessions (as many do, and the improvement continues on a slow, but subtle basis), just listen to your favorite sessions as needed (6 hrs between), or redo the whole shootin' match. It is totally up to you. You don't HAVE to it. In the meantime, take whatever meds, or means you need to keep yourself comfortable and as best as you can!!!! Hope this helps a bit more than pulling my post!!! (I thought I advised wrong, but Mike said it was fine!) So here is another batch for you, BQ!!! (((((HUGS))))).....Take care, hon!!! ~ Marilyn
 
#5 ·
Thank You Marilyn. Very Much. Now I don't know what to do & am confused.When Mike says things in his posts (like on BR's thread, about the stages, #2 The Holding.... ) I'm assuming he's referring to our conscious. When he says "our efforts" I assume he means, an actual conscious effort, as in; doing something. That is why I'm confused. To do something or not to do something is definitely the question for me. I'm so confused right now, I don't know what to think. When AZ had mentioned awhile back about saying "statements" to ourselves, I took that to heart & use my own version of those type statements all the time fairly effectively, to back pain off. And it works surprisingly well. I assumed I should be doing the wheel thing or something for the C & D, but I'm so foggy on that image because I didn't hear it enough consciously I suppose. Maybe I should just shut up already & be happy with the pain reduction. BQ
 
#6 ·
BQ, here is my take on this. LOLWhen you came here you were learning a lot about IBS and about hypno and that in itself was a lot of information to take in and you have done a lot of work on all this and quite successsfully I might add, in no way are you a flunky, I know that wasn't really you saying that, but those mind armies saying that. So you know, with hypno or CBT or relaxation in general yoga for example, we can take it as far as we want to take it. Think about people who are experts at meditation, they aren't just that way they had to practice to get there.With that said, you have done it once, I think you were worried about if you were doing it right ect.. You have had excellent results with the pain and even that will improve still for you, but it took your resources to work on that first and that was a big focus for you, so your mind was working on that as the big picture and its improved.So now, I suggest you start them again, totally relax and put no pressure on yourself for anything, just listen. Then as you progress you might not need to get to the whole hunder days again, although that won't hurt you, but when you listen this time, just listen and enjoy them, let them soothe you and do their thing for a while, I think when relistening the mind armies put up a small fight for just a bit, but once your back in there all of a sudden its like Mike's voice puts you in soothe mode again. Then grab as much of the mental imagery as you can while listening. During the day get comfortable in a chair, close your eyes, feel your whole body relax(actually you can use Mike's suggestions when you first start to relax your toes ect.) and work some of that imagery into those brief 15 minute excercises twice a day.Remember the set back your having now is just that and with IBS the dysregulation of chemicals is still doing what its doing basically, its just your countering it and the body is getting use to these counter measures and is accepting it and growing comfortable with the changes. On a slightly more complicated level your also creating, sending and building new neural networks for the signals from the gut to take and this can take more time for some then others. Those mind armies though want to keep taking the old road as its comfortable and the mind doesn't really like change, but thats what your working on by relistening and practicing. I think we can put limits on ourselves, but there is no reason to think this way, with this a positive attitude and some work it will continue to improve.There maybe a physical reason once in a while with your GB out or your Cycle where it might take more to manage, but it will happen. One of the things on this is don't stress about it, as that generates it.Mike said he would post tomorrow for you if he can, before he leaves for a couple days.So you can take Mike's info, mine, Marilyn's and apply it all and put what you need to where you need to. Then add Clairs good wishes to it.
Stay positive.
------------------Moderator of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Anxiety and Hypnotherapy forumI work with Mike and the IBS Audio Program. www.ibshealth.com www.ibsaudioprogram.com
 
#7 ·
BQ,I think it's a good idea to do the tapes again. I was going through a rough patch at one time and started over. I was surprised to find that I was back on track in just over a week.I have to clear a few things up. Marilyn, it was only side 5 that I never really heard.
BQ, I don't know what I said about making "statements" but I'm glad it worked for you.
I would tend to say that rather than using statements, use imagery. For instance, I use the word "balance" which serves as my keyword to evoke the imagery of the scale. The word "starflake" may key in on the healing light. Doing this in a state of relaxation is more effective than using affirmations or recollecting the actual words Mike uses. I think you know this and is what you meant by using statements, but I just wanted to clarify.There is no reason why this won't work on your other symptoms. See if you can come up with imagery that refers to your other symptoms. With a different goal in mind you may listen and hear in a different way. Should be interesting. Email me if I can help.AZ
 
#8 ·
Thanks Clair, Marilyn, Eric & AZ,Few thoughts: I like having control. (I'm sure, another shock to you all.) I guess after years of feeling like I had no control over this IBS (and other stuff) I got a taste of it & want more.Subconsciously or consciously........I'm beginning to think now, doesn't matter.(Lately I would have preferred unconscious.) But I'll admit, I like to feel I'm "doing something". Laying down or sitting & relaxing is something I evidently need to practice as well. ie: Relaxing is doing something. These are old thought habits, I guess you guys call them "mind armies". Yes I need practice for sure.New neural pathways being created, yup. I get that, now. I kept thinking I must of done something wrong. I personally feel so much is riding on this hypno for me. I want it to work & just assumed I messed up somehow. (Old mind armies, in this case, well worn neural pathway with pot holes) This brought up & brings up junk from the past & the frustration of living the past 12 or 13 years trying to un-learn old stuff & replacing it with new-learned stuff. Sometimes I think I will never get out from under the mess of my childhood. I'm shocked to realize that I let this seeming failure take me right back to being up against the wall at 8 yrs. old with chin trembling.Guys if I seem like I'm losing faith in myself, please understand I'm still trying so very hard to create that in the first place. I look at my own children in amazement sometimes. They think so much of themselves already & here I am struggling to believe still that I'm lovable & capable. I wish you could really see how far I have come from the place where I was. See, just telling you isn't enough. So if you are now thinking, 'she's crazier than I thought', you are right. The hypno for me is the one thing I put my hopes in. I struggled to learn how it worked, tried to learn & understand the science type stuff. In my judgement (whatever that is worth), it is, I think, the only viable option out there for us IBS'ers. So perhaps I lost it over this, this seeming failure. But please understand, I feel like I have tried to swim to the crest of the tsunami of my childhood. The wave has, at times, pushed me so far under, I felt I couldn't breathe. But I'm still swimming. My arms ache with the exhaustion of the effort & many times I want to give up & let it wash over me. But I haven't, not yet. So if I appear confused, emotionally exhausted, impatient, hopeless; understand I know it & am fighting to keep swimming anyway. Perhaps I put too much hope in my efforts to do this hypno & get it instantly. Perhaps I overlooked, somehow, the efforts my mind is making and the time & practice it will entail to ride the crest. But as with everything in my life that I've tried to do, those efforts are qualified by the path I have walked. The tinted glasses I wear, may always be on my face, despite my best efforts.(I may always wear them as perhaps they are now just part of me) And maybe by the time I reach the crest, my time here will be over, and that is ok. Maybe it is about swimming up the wall, & that's all. So please be patient with my seeming desperateness, or "mind armies" seeming to invade. And thanks for your help & patience. I don't know what I'd do without all of you. BQ
 
#9 ·
BQIf you want someone to talk to confidentially....you can e-mail me....I can't promise to have all the answers...but I also had a bad childhood and it took me a long time to get over...so maybe I can offer a sympathetic shoulder....if you need one.I relate to your analogy of swimming against the waves and wondering if you will ever make it to the crest...but you know you are a survivor...you've made it this far so you will get there one day...you just have to keep going and have faith in yourself.I know its hard when you invest so much energy and emotional effort in something and if it doesn't turn out perfect, you question what you did wrong....and feel like you failed yourself.Well IBS flare-ups happen, and I had one shortly after I finished the tapes too....but you know on the days when I feel like I have failed I remind myself that once I was up there on the crest of the wave in control of it and I can get back up there again..it may take time and learning but one day I will master it...and you will too.Take care and don't be so hard on yourself, sometimes things are outside our direct control and somethings go wrong...it doesn't make you a failure.You are a loving and capable person, you have proved that time an again on this bulletin board with all the advice and support you have given out selflessly...and all the people you have picked up when they hit the floor. I am one of them. So everyday look in the mirror and tell yourself "I am lovable and capable - other people say so, therefore it is true".Big Hugs,Clair
 
#10 ·
BQ,You know if you're ever caught in a riptide, they tell not to fight it, but to swim parallel with the shore. Go with the flow in other words. There's no need for a fight or struggle with hypnosis. Relax and allow it to happen. Give it time, and you will see the results you expect.
AZ
 
G
#11 ·
Hi All,Hi BQ do the program again.I am just going out the door for a few days away. However if you wish, email me your telephone number and on my return I will give you a call and see if we can put some additional ideas into place
email direct timelineservices###cs.comOK too if you would rather not.
I am back Tuesday / Wednesday.You are no flunky. how can you be when you have proven ( by reducing pain ) that you can do this ?Be gentle with yourself. Let my voice and music flow with you. Lets chat when I get back. If I've missed others' I will get back to you on my return.Best RegardsMike
 
#12 ·
Oh, BQ...first of all, here: (((HUG))). You are a very special person; you have shown this over and over with your caring and sincere replies to others, including myself, who are hurting on the BB. Everyone replying to you feels the same way. Much of what you shared here, I can relate to first hand. I too am dealing with things that have happened in my life, and IBS is just one manifestation in the lineup of things. I am just discovering these things now...do not despair, though I too know many days when I feel like doing just that; but somehow, you will get a grip and be able to cope little by little. For you have already done that! You are a success already, but you are anxious just like me, do have it ALL behind you and over with. But just as we have things to do before us, so too, we have come through much. Think of how you are a loving and wonderful caring mother (even in having to work around IBS), how you are aware and commpassionate of others feelings, how you are now getting better in the pain department; all accomplishments and positive. I know I need to remind myself of these very same things in my own life. Because we have IBS, it is different in that our "symptoms" get in the way of life. But little by little, as you progress with things, the sypmptoms will improve as well. The information others have given is the same as what I would say, so you have some good things written in the other replies to you.... And, aren't we lucky and blessed on this BB to have Mike, who cares so much to help you and all of us here as he does on a personal level? How many docs really care like that? So not to worry, BQ, and if it helps any, please know that my prayers and thoughts are with you, as they are with all here who are suffering. I hope you know that!!!! You are a wonderful person, BQ....never forget that for one second. For if you weren't you wouldn't be caring about others like you do. Take good care now... You are loved...you are special, my friend! ~ Marilyn
[This message has been edited by cookies4marilyn (edited 08-23-2001).]
 
#13 ·
Hi BQ,Just jumping on the support bandwagon here, as you've done for me!I know it's in our personalities to discount our successes, but you have a lot of them. As Marilyn pointed out you're a wonderful mother. If your childhood was messed up, you certainly didn't pass that on to your wonderful, confident kids.
And you know the hypno already helped with the pain so the rest will get better in time. I can feel my wave of IBS flare up waning - together we can defeat and conquer these stupid mind armies!
 
#14 ·
Clair, AZ, Mike, Marilyn, BR and Eric, Thanks for your support & offers. Some of you may be sorry you offered. LOL I have given you guys myself in support & concern but it is hard for me to take & accept yours in return. Nature of my beast I suppose. I have decided to do it all again. I'm on day 3 tonight.Clair, so sorry we have some things in common. Some of them are awful things for sure. I'll keep your thoughts in mind. Thank you so much.AZ, I'm not sure about the rip tide, if it is one, it's been there always. And the thought of swimming sideways scares me as I feel the wave will wash over me & I'll drown.But maybe you are right. I will definitely try to keep the brain clear & try to enjoy it this time around.Mike, You poor thing. I feel like I'm gonna have to remind you that you offered.
Marilyn, You are already in trouble & you don't know it.
BR "Discount my successes" in my nature? Now how would you know that
? Climb on the wagon at your own risk.
Eric, So sorry I couldn't take the good stuff you were dishing my way at the end of last night's chat. I stink at being loved. Ask my long suffering husband.Today you guys were the glue holding me together. Thanks. Day three..... BQ
 
#15 ·
Hi BQ.Hang in there. I don't know how many times I started and restarted the tapes..the first time I got to day 50 and then went back to day one a number of times after a bunch of breaks. It took me one year and three months before I finally got around to finishing day 100.. Is that a record Mike?Take it one day at a time and don't get discouraged no matter how many times you go back. Don't feel guilty! I was afraid I'd wear out sides 2 and 3, but they still work!Best wishes and stay positive.
Jane
 
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