[Momof4]

Hi. I am married and have 4 kids. I have been dealing with IBS-D for most of my life (33 years) and especially since the birth of my first child 10 years ago. I can't believe what a downer it's been on my life. My husband of 11 years has recently been getting very upset with me when he wants to do things as a family. He says I'm using it as a control thing, making everybody else wait for me. He also says it's mostly "in my head" and that I should stop being so selfish and weak. I have explained IBS to him. I have humbled myself to tell him about all of the "close calls" with the bathroom and it seems, once I start crying, that he backs off a little bit. The tears are not a sign of weakness but signs of YEARS of frustration and embarassment and worry about D and/or the urgency component. I don't think he will ever really believe me when I tell him that it's physiological and psychological. However, psycho or not, when it's time to go, it's time to go. I am a Christian. I pray about this every day. I ask God to rid this D from me so I can enjoy the life I've been given. It seems He answers me but I'm always taken to "the edge" of comfort and confidence. I am in the habit of taking Immodium on a daily basis as well as some good old Xanax for those trips away from home. I get sooo angry. Reading other people's posting on this BB is like looking into a mirror. I just feel bad for all of us. I know it's not cancer or some other terminal disease but it's very life-limiting and emotionally draining. Today was a good day for me, though, and I feel great (although I didn't have to go anywhere, so does that count??) hee hee. There's always tomorrow and we'll be going to the graduation parties and being out-and-about and so I'll just load up on my meds and keep on praying. TAke care everybody. w