Hi AF,Gee, I know exactly where you're coming from. That conditioning is a VERY powerful thing isn't it? You're doing better than I am however. For a long time I found it easier to eat whatever my parents put in front of me when I went to visit and just put up with the consequences. Then recently I had such a bad reaction to some soup that my mother made that I actually started to refuse the food that they were offering. I get lectured about having to eat SOMETHING and get told to stop worrying about my health - I mean, there's nothing really wrong with me, is there?? They do suffer from fierce denial. So I don't have any advice for you, but I do know how you feel. I just find myself wanting to avoid my family. I try to build up my emotional strength by not jumping every time they call, not returning their calls right away and sometimes not going ahead with their visits because the timing doesn't suit me.