I�m am so frustrated. The doctor I was originally scheduled to see called this morning he is going out of town for a month. He said that I need more immediate attention and a doctor that I can form a good relationship with. I�ve called everyone in my HMO no one can see me for two months. I can�t wait that long, especially if the first doctor says �immediate attention�. So I started calling people in my PPO. I posted yesterday that I had written a note with certain things about me. Symptoms, needs, wants, fears, etc., now I know that not all of these things can always be met but they can be discussed and worked out. Well I called some doctors and faxed them this sheet, no one wants to deal with me. I can not help that I am bipolar and scared out of my mind. I can�t help that I have fears and have had bad experiences with doctors in the past. I can�t help that one of my main concerns and wants is to go to the end of the line and work backwards instead of spending a lot of time starting from the beginning and it taking months to find out what is wrong with me. I went to a GI doctor when I was 21 he wanted to do a colonoscopy I got scared and walked out. I�m not going to do this, this time but that doesn�t mean I�m not scared. My mom has acid reflux and irritable bowel syndrome. Now that should tell the doctor something, my mother says I have the symptoms of both. I finally called this one doctor and her nurse said that she was the right doctor to see that her consultations usually take an hour and a half that she will sit down and listen to me. I�m just waiting for a call back to see how soon she can fit me in. I was crying when I called, I�m very upset. I need to see someone and waiting is only making me sicker. I am so frustrated.willow