Have To Attend A Funeral, Need Suggestions...

AMCI am sorry to hear of this loss. I experienced the same thing about 3 weeks ago. I was having no D at all and then a good friend suddenly at 50 just got up and died with a heart attack. I got so sick about this as he was so young and was just really starting to enjoy his practice and life too. So do not let yourself do this. I identified too much with his wife.Well, to make it short, we went to the funeral. It was at the funeral home but I would think if the cemetery is adjoining the church that doors are open. You could definitely make sure that they will be by just asking the minister or someone with the funeral home that will be there.Before I left I took my anxiety medication and 1 Immodium D and later took another before arriving. It was a 2 hr drive. I also ate one peice of Ezekiel bread in the car and had water. I ate the other on my way home. I did fine in the chapel. I saw friends of old and it was uplifting, and best of all, cool and airconditioned.We decided to go on to the grave site but I had been sick that AM and my husband had also felt puny. When we got there it was blazing hot. I had on a navy suit and the walk to the gravesite was a good long on too. My husband being the wise one, said that I would get hot and when I do he knows that I get D. So we decided to not stay for the burial. There were so many there anyway. I was going to try to make it as I had not eaten that day but the bread but still, one never knows about panic. I had a panic pill so thought I would be ok unless it was too long and then I knew that I would roast and get sick.I would definitely take some Immodium D and I do wish that your family doctor would call something in for you to relax you. As I said before, you appear to have anxiety and panic as I do. In fact, I got away to lunch too fast today, ate pineapple im my salad on an emty stomach and got sick. I think it was, as well ,an early panic attack as my stomach has not had spasms is many months. I did my breathing deep breathing too and that helped. It was mild but I was glad to return home. Then my anxiety med kicked in! A little late. I have told you about the portable car toilet we rigged up so that is another choice. I would not go anywhere without it at this stage but might later. We keep in in the hatch but it is nearby.Inquire from the funeral director or someone at church about this. Just tell them that you have been sick the past month or so and might need the ladies room open. Leave it a that and they will. I am sure that the chruch should stay open as they have to clean it after the service.I hope you will take some of my advice as other my being IBS and you UC, we seem to have a lot in common. I hope you are still getting out more too. I am.------------------trishb[This message has been edited by trishb (edited 10-25-2000).]

I can really sympathize with you. I am sorry for your loss. In june we lost my husbands father and then a couple weeks ago my husbands grandfather. Been a really tough time. But I will tell you this, I was probably more nervous about having a problem than I needed to be. I thought "how am I going to do this, when I am really upset about something my stomach really really gets so much worse." But with a double dose of Immodium AD. (took 6 tablets. Less than that doesn't work for me on the very bad days. It's safe to do as long as it's not frequent) and not actually having any time to dwell on the subject of pain because of the basic fact that I was at my father in laws funeral and everyone there was as distraught as I was. It's amazing how when you are seeing something so tragic happen to those you love and realize how sad everyone else is, and all the friends and family are around you offering there condolences and wiping your tears, the IBS seems to just disappear. Honest! Not once during the two funerals did I have any problems. In the morning at home, on the way to the church, and before the funeral service started was awful, didn't think I was going to make it, but I did, I concentrated on the service and just let my feelings out instead of leaving them in and I forgot all about the IBS, and just thought about the person we lost and how much they had touched my life. One bit of warning though, the next morning, when all is done, watch out. I was in a ton of pain. Almost like double whammy, my body let me out of the pain when I needed it the most for the services and then let me know it was still there when all was said and done. Didn't last long though. So I wish you luck, take the immodium, and just concentrate on the service, you are there to say goodbye to the person that passed on, not to think about your own problems even if they are totally live altering. Best regardsSandi

I know I'll be fine at the service, as I can get to a restroom if need be, so I'm not too worried about that part. The part that I'm worried about is the gravesite... The service is at a local college (expecting lots of people, and this was also the college he graduated from...), but the gravesite is at a church, and I kind of doubt the church doors will be open if all the people will be outside. I guess I would just be embarrassed to have to get up and leave during the service and then drive off, that would be so disrespectful looking Granted, everybody who knows me understands that I have problems, and I think they would understand if I had to leave, but it's still tough I am going to make an appointment with my GI this afternoon and am planning to ask him for some medicine to help me with my anxiety. I can't handle this anymore If I could get a hold on my nerves, I think my colon would be much better. Thank you all so much for your help, I appreciate it The funeral isn't for a couple days yet, so I'm eating really bland food and hoping my stomach will cooperate!! Thanks again, all