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Have To Attend A Funeral, Need Suggestions...

921 Views 7 Replies 6 Participants Last post by  AMcCall
Hello all, it's me again....are you sick of me yet??
I hope not. I need some suggestions if you have a minute. A friend of the family has passed away and I would like to attend the services with my family. I will be fine in the church, because I know I can get to the restroom if I need to. The problem will come at the graveside service. At graveside services held at churches, is the church open to allow the attenders to use the restrooms if need be?? If not, I guess I am just wondering what I will do if D hits me during that
That would be horribly embarrassing to have to get up and leave during the service, but even more embarrassing if I were to have an accident
This will be my first time out in a while also, so I will be a bit nervous as it is. Any suggestions?? And have any of you experienced this?? Thank you...
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AMCI am sorry to hear of this loss. I experienced the same thing about 3 weeks ago. I was having no D at all and then a good friend suddenly at 50 just got up and died with a heart attack. I got so sick about this as he was so young and was just really starting to enjoy his practice and life too. So do not let yourself do this. I identified too much with his wife.Well, to make it short, we went to the funeral. It was at the funeral home but I would think if the cemetery is adjoining the church that doors are open. You could definitely make sure that they will be by just asking the minister or someone with the funeral home that will be there.Before I left I took my anxiety medication and 1 Immodium D and later took another before arriving. It was a 2 hr drive. I also ate one peice of Ezekiel bread in the car and had water. I ate the other on my way home. I did fine in the chapel. I saw friends of old and it was uplifting, and best of all, cool and airconditioned.We decided to go on to the grave site but I had been sick that AM and my husband had also felt puny. When we got there it was blazing hot. I had on a navy suit and the walk to the gravesite was a good long on too. My husband being the wise one, said that I would get hot and when I do he knows that I get D. So we decided to not stay for the burial. There were so many there anyway. I was going to try to make it as I had not eaten that day but the bread but still, one never knows about panic. I had a panic pill so thought I would be ok unless it was too long and then I knew that I would roast and get sick.I would definitely take some Immodium D and I do wish that your family doctor would call something in for you to relax you. As I said before, you appear to have anxiety and panic as I do. In fact, I got away to lunch too fast today, ate pineapple im my salad on an emty stomach and got sick. I think it was, as well ,an early panic attack as my stomach has not had spasms is many months. I did my breathing deep breathing too and that helped. It was mild but I was glad to return home. Then my anxiety med kicked in! A little late. I have told you about the portable car toilet we rigged up so that is another choice. I would not go anywhere without it at this stage but might later. We keep in in the hatch but it is nearby.Inquire from the funeral director or someone at church about this. Just tell them that you have been sick the past month or so and might need the ladies room open. Leave it a that and they will. I am sure that the chruch should stay open as they have to clean it after the service.I hope you will take some of my advice as other my being IBS and you UC, we seem to have a lot in common. I hope you are still getting out more too. I am.------------------trishb[This message has been edited by trishb (edited 10-25-2000).]
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HelloI too had to go to a funeral last month. My most favorite aunt had past away. I thought of her like my second mom. I was more worried and upset about finding a washroom then grieving for my aunt. I also popped the imodium and I wore depends. Just to be on the safe side. Luckily no D till I got home again. Sorry to hear of your loss. Hoope you make it through the day!
Boy it is amazing what we all go through. I had to go to a funeral out of town ,so I had to fly there,go to the wake and then the funeral the next day. That meant I had to make it through 3 days . I had to keep talking myself through it . I took immoium every morning and lived on saltines and water till we got back to the house. Then I just ate light foods. It was miserable but I made it. I get freaked out the most when I know people are depending on me and I don't want to dissapoint them by staying home. I just push my self to do these things and I do feel good when I get through them sucessfully. Sorry about your loss and good luck.
Hi, so sorry about your loss that was a big worry for me too, My mother in law died and I was worried about being in the limo-car which was a good way to the cematery was so worried about it I took Lomotil before and 1/2 xanox and that got me through it well then we all went for a meal the 1 lomotil last a long time, It is one of those things that you relize how bad I.B.S.can be limits one terribly good luck
Sorry to hear of your loss.When my father passed away,I was expected to be at the funeral home at 8:30 am,well being IBS "D" mornings are no good for me,so I took 2 immodiums before bed,watched everything I ate the day before,woke very early took 2 more immodiums,I made it through the day,funeral service,the drive to the cemetary(which had no bathroom)and the luncheon,and I had no problems at all,for me the immodiums usually work if I take them early enough.Good Luck to you,but I'm guessing you'll be okay.------------------ShyOne (D-type)
I can really sympathize with you. I am sorry for your loss. In june we lost my husbands father and then a couple weeks ago my husbands grandfather. Been a really tough time. But I will tell you this, I was probably more nervous about having a problem than I needed to be. I thought "how am I going to do this, when I am really upset about something my stomach really really gets so much worse." But with a double dose of Immodium AD. (took 6 tablets. Less than that doesn't work for me on the very bad days. It's safe to do as long as it's not frequent) and not actually having any time to dwell on the subject of pain because of the basic fact that I was at my father in laws funeral and everyone there was as distraught as I was. It's amazing how when you are seeing something so tragic happen to those you love and realize how sad everyone else is, and all the friends and family are around you offering there condolences and wiping your tears, the IBS seems to just disappear. Honest! Not once during the two funerals did I have any problems. In the morning at home, on the way to the church, and before the funeral service started was awful, didn't think I was going to make it, but I did, I concentrated on the service and just let my feelings out instead of leaving them in and I forgot all about the IBS, and just thought about the person we lost and how much they had touched my life. One bit of warning though, the next morning, when all is done, watch out. I was in a ton of pain. Almost like double whammy, my body let me out of the pain when I needed it the most for the services and then let me know it was still there when all was said and done. Didn't last long though. So I wish you luck, take the immodium, and just concentrate on the service, you are there to say goodbye to the person that passed on, not to think about your own problems even if they are totally live altering. Best regardsSandi
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I know I'll be fine at the service, as I can get to a restroom if need be, so I'm not too worried about that part. The part that I'm worried about is the gravesite... The service is at a local college (expecting lots of people, and this was also the college he graduated from...), but the gravesite is at a church, and I kind of doubt the church doors will be open if all the people will be outside. I guess I would just be embarrassed to have to get up and leave during the service and then drive off, that would be so disrespectful looking
Granted, everybody who knows me understands that I have problems, and I think they would understand if I had to leave, but it's still tough
I am going to make an appointment with my GI this afternoon and am planning to ask him for some medicine to help me with my anxiety. I can't handle this anymore
If I could get a hold on my nerves, I think my colon would be much better. Thank you all so much for your help, I appreciate it
The funeral isn't for a couple days yet, so I'm eating really bland food and hoping my stomach will cooperate!! Thanks again, all
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