[live4sunshine]

My boyfriend knows that I have IBS and sees how much pain and embarrassment it causes me daily. Yet he simply refuses to be sympathetic with me when I don't feel up to going somewhere with a group of his friends. I'm comfortable going places with him because he knows about my problems and won't judge me when I get diarrhea in a public space. But he doesn't seem to understand that I'm not as comfortable or open about my problem with his friends and family. Sometimes he also gets frustrated when I don't want to go places without restrooms or drive 7 hours to visit him (its a long distance relationship and I visit him about every 3 weeks). How can I possibly make him understand that sometimes I'm not comfortable doing all the activities he is?

 

[Cherrie]

Hi live4sunshine, welcome to the forums!I'm wondering if you've tried to have your b/f read this? http://www.ibsgroup.org/brochures/Aboutibs.pdfBasically, this is a little brochure written by IBSers for people who don't have IBS to gain a better understanding. Hopefully this could help your b/f stand more in your shoes. xoxo

 

[un800]

3. I'm not a picky eater. I just don't want to get sick. Please don't push me to eat foods I have already said "no thanks" to. I know what my stomach can and can't handle.

Man if my long term partner could get this through his thick skull...

 

[ibfedup]

Full understand this post, my partner has been searching on the Internet and found what helps some people and gets moody when I don't try them, yoghurt is awful for me where as others get a lot of help from it, she doesn't understand that, we had a big argument the other day because I took a day off work because of the ibs and she saw the pain I was in, she wanted me to go to the Dr and force them to do something which obviously they only give anti cramp drugs.
She also has talks with oh er people who also have "belly aches" which isn't the same at all but they too have advice on what's good for me and what's not like I wouldn't know, I don't think she means to but she makes me feel stupid and useless which would be fine if it was just us but when others are around its not nice.

 

[un800]

I've had IBS for a decade. I'm at a point where I don't care if you mean well - everyone "means well." If you don't understand the biology and complexity then shhhhh.

My mother and some friends send me really stupid ish all the time that they think would help me. I'm like - nope. They don't ask what I already know, they just assume

and waste my inbox space and time. At some point it's not helpful or thoughtful, anymore. At some point it's intrusive and old. That's how I feel about it, anyway.

 

[an0chick2]

I can relate so much. My bf is understanding most of the time but sometimes he'll get frustrated if we have plans and I can't go. .. and then he'll have to stay too. I guess I'm sort of understanding of him too though. .. bc we're young and we should be able to eat and go out more often but sometimes I can't bc I feel crappy. IBS sucks. I guess just look up some information online about IBS that'll make him understand what it feels like to have it... and that it's a condition that you can't always control. Hope things get better.

 

[alc523]

I completely get it. My boyfriend is understanding too, but there are times he just doesn't get it ("JUST EAT!!!!!"). I feel comfortable around him, but not so much his friends. It's hard to really understand when you don't have to actually go through this yourself.

 

[Tummytummy]

I understand. My sister thinks I am " faking" my illness and that it is all in my head. I wish my pain wasn't fake and I wish I wasn't doubling over in pain. My sister is annoyed that she keeps saying try this try that and I keep saying I have and nothing works and then she gets annoyed. It is literally taking a toll on my family. I want to be better and I want my sister to not to be annoyed with me but it isn't going well......