Dear Spliff....Sorry I missed your post but I have been out on the road for two days...no not standing in traffic, driving in it
I have read what you write this time, in the context of all that has gone before, and your responses to input from the others.I have been around many people who feel like you do, and the mother of my son was also a person who used to cut on herself...many times. Sux as it is, this almost always goes back to the garbage you had heaped upon you previously in some form or another. And I think you know this, but I also understand why you do not want to go there.I also understand your lack of faith in therapy, as it is true the quality of therapists is quite hit and miss, and when they try to go straight for your throat about issues you clearly do not wish to consciously explore, well, no relationship is possible with a therapist who is not competent nor compasisonate enought to work within YOUR zone of comfort on your problems.However, I also am not a beleiver that for persons like yourself, the only alternative is limited to seeking a pharmaceutical approach either.And while dietary therapy based upon a complete workup for allergy or intolerance could have some benefit, I do not feel from what you describe this is what you need most, nor is going to make the biggest difference. Plus uit actaully would require more effort than therapy...and is tough to do at college without your own food prep facilities and a strong desire to do so.Persons who feel like you do, just from my experience (which may not be worth in some peoples' opinion the bandwidth it occupies, which bothers me not in the least), nevertheless my experience has been that to deal with the underlying issues and resolve them requires broadening ones' horizons a bit to take into account therapies that will help reorder the subconscious and (for lack of a better word, but it is useful in ayurvedic and chinese medicine) the "energy body" passively. Therapies which can help reorder certain learned behaviors which can and do manifest themselves physically should be on your "to do" list.This kind of limits one to the various forms of yog paractice or hypnotherapy (as CBT is clearly not for you).Due to your situation at the university, my gut tells me that you are not in a place where the structure of yog nor the active principles are doable for you. A passive approach is required. And I am also inclined to think that Mike Mahoney's approach is at this time the best suited to your symptom set as you describe it.If you have not participated in Eric forum on hypnotherapy, I personally recommend you do. Discuss these issues with eric or with Mike M. and I strongly recommend their protocols as being the ones I think suit you the best.On an absolute basis the cost of that program is nominal. But if cash is a problem maybe they can work with you on that I cannot speak for them (payments or something). Also, do not seek out the approval of those who do no support you in the first place, as you will just get what you always get: the desire to see you fail expressed in the form of discouragement. If you cannot avoid people who will do this to you, at least avoid the discussion when with them and stick to other subjects. You will feel better if you do not expect from people that which they have already demonstrated they cannot give. [Unless you are into masochism
in which case these sadists are all geared up for you).BUT from what you describe, and from my personal observations of others displaying your feelings and symptoms, I am quite convinced that this approach (HT) at this time offers your best chance of feeling better.Please consider it OK ?
Eat well. Think well. be well.MNL