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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Arghh! I don't know where to begin. Ok, i will fully admit that i am an idiot. I know there are all these things i should be going- but i can't seem to bring myslef to do them. I feel like im giving up on life completely. I feel really bad coming here to complain. Its all i seem to do at the moment. Everytime i've posted its been me being depressed. I don't know what to do anymore. I tried to talk to my mum earlier tonight- went home from university to see them. We were talking about when my IBS started. She commented that when i was little i used to get constipated. But she says it definately started when i was beaten up. (got v upset. Despressed , but mum doersn't know this.) I get really upset about my parents situ. It all feels like too much. She said. "Look Spliff, the cause of it is all in your head. You make it worse by thinking that you have IBS!" I actually could have killed her! How dare she! I asked her about the possibility of allergy testing and ahe said it was a waste of money- charming. Her daughters health is a waste of money.I just don't understand myself anymore. I cry and cry -but it doesn't acheive anything. THe pharmacist thinks that going on the mebeverine is the right root, but the Doc was wrong to not let me take loperimide and i should take it along with it anyway until it settles down. Even he was more understanding than my mother. I'm just fed up and tired. I'm so tired. But i can't sleep when i want to. SOmetimes i wish that i was dead. then i wouldn't have to put up with all this ####. Its not the first timeive felt like this. Ive cut myself before. Im tempted to do it again. Im so tired. I just want someone to help me.NS. x
 

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First take a deep breath. You don't really want to cut yourself again. You are tired adn depressed and that is understandable. It is not all in your head - but your head and your gut aren't communicating well. Please considering counselling - I understand your plight with your mom and that relationship sounds like it is only oging to agitate your health. Get an outsider to listen to you and really be open with your doc about your state and feeelings of suicide. These are classic signs of depression and it can be treated. We care here - we need everyone of us on this board to help figure out this enigma. DOnt' give up!!
 

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First take a deep breath. You don't really want to cut yourself again. You are tired adn depressed and that is understandable. It is not all in your head - but your head and your gut aren't communicating well. Please considering counselling - I understand your plight with your mom and that relationship sounds like it is only oging to agitate your health. Get an outsider to listen to you and really be open with your doc about your state and feeelings of suicide. These are classic signs of depression and it can be treated. We care here - we need everyone of us on this board to help figure out this enigma. DOnt' give up!!
 

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Spliff, do you have a Health Center at your University? Health Centers have free doctors and psychologists that can help you. I know how you feel. I have been depressed too and had to take a medication to stop me from being depressed and I also saw a doctor for the meds and a psychologists to tell her my problems. It really helps. Your Mum can't help you because she really doesn't understand how you really feel. She is not an expert on your medical problem. It sounds like you may have a chemical imbalance that can be helped by taking a medication that can work for you. I also understand that be cutting yourself it makes you feel emotionally better. But instead of keeping on cutting yourself you would be better off taking medication. Don't you think it makes more sense to take a pill than cutting yourself? You must get therapy so that you can learn how to deal with your emotional problems instead of cutting yourself. Lots of people have the bad habit of cutting themselves instead of getting therapy with medication. My own Niece has that problem. She is now under a doctor's care. I am a college counselor who has seen students with cuts all over their arms and legs. Please try to get help. It will really make a difference in your life. I really feel for you. I will pray for you . God bless you. Love, Lucy
 

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Spliff, do you have a Health Center at your University? Health Centers have free doctors and psychologists that can help you. I know how you feel. I have been depressed too and had to take a medication to stop me from being depressed and I also saw a doctor for the meds and a psychologists to tell her my problems. It really helps. Your Mum can't help you because she really doesn't understand how you really feel. She is not an expert on your medical problem. It sounds like you may have a chemical imbalance that can be helped by taking a medication that can work for you. I also understand that be cutting yourself it makes you feel emotionally better. But instead of keeping on cutting yourself you would be better off taking medication. Don't you think it makes more sense to take a pill than cutting yourself? You must get therapy so that you can learn how to deal with your emotional problems instead of cutting yourself. Lots of people have the bad habit of cutting themselves instead of getting therapy with medication. My own Niece has that problem. She is now under a doctor's care. I am a college counselor who has seen students with cuts all over their arms and legs. Please try to get help. It will really make a difference in your life. I really feel for you. I will pray for you . God bless you. Love, Lucy
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I don't undersyand what it is with everyone? NOt sayings its bad or anything, but its all you talk about. its like the only thing you think will work- therapy. It will NOT work. I went beofre for stress or something i can't remember. But thewoman asked questions about my Dad, which i did NOT want to tell her. but she probed and probed until i got really upset. And then after we'd finished, she informed me that she was LEavng the NHS becasue it didn't pay enough and was too stressful. SHe said to look for someone else.If the Doctor knew i was depressed, why send me to the counceller that was leaving? No way- I will NOT go through that again. I felt even WORSE after that.I am in a MOOD. DOn't talk to to me unless you want your head bitten off! You've been warned!
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I don't undersyand what it is with everyone? NOt sayings its bad or anything, but its all you talk about. its like the only thing you think will work- therapy. It will NOT work. I went beofre for stress or something i can't remember. But thewoman asked questions about my Dad, which i did NOT want to tell her. but she probed and probed until i got really upset. And then after we'd finished, she informed me that she was LEavng the NHS becasue it didn't pay enough and was too stressful. SHe said to look for someone else.If the Doctor knew i was depressed, why send me to the counceller that was leaving? No way- I will NOT go through that again. I felt even WORSE after that.I am in a MOOD. DOn't talk to to me unless you want your head bitten off! You've been warned!
 

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Thanks for the warning....... I told ya, to go to bed :love:
 

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Thanks for the warning....... I told ya, to go to bed :love:
 

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Dear Spliff,Believe me I understand what you are going through. I have been living with this many years. I've been through it all!! Soooooooo many bad drs - I can't even count them. So many that gave up on me. So many that said "It's all in your head honey, go home!" You just have to search for a really good dr- they are out there. You will learn to assess them pretty quickly. If it doesn't feel right, go to another dr.I've been through the family and friends thing too. It took my family around 10yrs to be a little bit more understanding. I think they changed because I changed....I got to the point where I told them this is what I have, this is how it is, and if you can't handle it, that is your problem, not mine!!!! I lost some friends along the way, but it was better...because I don't need to be around people who can't be even a little bit understanding. I do understand other people's side of it...IBS is very hard to understand if you've never experienced it. So I never really got angry at anyone, just realized what I needed to say and do for me. And like it said, if they couldn't handle it, it wasn't my problem, it was theirs!You need to get a little more assertive with drs. and family. You need to keep searching for the help you need and want- you will find it!!!!That goes for the counseling thing as well. You had a bad experience, so keep searching till you find what you want and need!Just remember too that you are not alone....you have alot of support here!So, you can bite my head off all you want, I understand!!!!!! Been there!!!! Still there at times too!!! :love: Pac!
 

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Dear Spliff,Believe me I understand what you are going through. I have been living with this many years. I've been through it all!! Soooooooo many bad drs - I can't even count them. So many that gave up on me. So many that said "It's all in your head honey, go home!" You just have to search for a really good dr- they are out there. You will learn to assess them pretty quickly. If it doesn't feel right, go to another dr.I've been through the family and friends thing too. It took my family around 10yrs to be a little bit more understanding. I think they changed because I changed....I got to the point where I told them this is what I have, this is how it is, and if you can't handle it, that is your problem, not mine!!!! I lost some friends along the way, but it was better...because I don't need to be around people who can't be even a little bit understanding. I do understand other people's side of it...IBS is very hard to understand if you've never experienced it. So I never really got angry at anyone, just realized what I needed to say and do for me. And like it said, if they couldn't handle it, it wasn't my problem, it was theirs!You need to get a little more assertive with drs. and family. You need to keep searching for the help you need and want- you will find it!!!!That goes for the counseling thing as well. You had a bad experience, so keep searching till you find what you want and need!Just remember too that you are not alone....you have alot of support here!So, you can bite my head off all you want, I understand!!!!!! Been there!!!! Still there at times too!!! :love: Pac!
 

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Dear Spliff,Bite my head off if you want to - what matters most is for you to get yourself feeling happier, and hopefully physically better.I too was sceptical about going to counsellors for a long time, I went to many and felt that all the wishy-washy 'feelings' stuff they were going on about was not helpful at all - quite frustrating really.But then, earlier this year, I went to see a psychiatrist, rather than just a counsellor. Mainly about anxiety and depression problems, but who knows if they stemmed from IBS, or if the IBS stemmed from them? Anyway, I started taking a low dose of anti-depressant. It has taken quite a few months, but not only am I feeling happier and more positive (I too was feeling desperately depressed about my IBS problems), but my IBS symptoms are a whole lot better. I think without the tablets, regardless of how bad my IBS was, I would still be very depressed.I think also that the anti-depressants can help regardless of your mental state, as I believe IBS is linked to serotonin receptors in the bowel, and anti-depressants work on these receptors in the brain, possibly in the bowel as well.Anyway, good luck. Please write back and let us know how you go, whatever decision you make.
Lbee.
 

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Dear Spliff,Bite my head off if you want to - what matters most is for you to get yourself feeling happier, and hopefully physically better.I too was sceptical about going to counsellors for a long time, I went to many and felt that all the wishy-washy 'feelings' stuff they were going on about was not helpful at all - quite frustrating really.But then, earlier this year, I went to see a psychiatrist, rather than just a counsellor. Mainly about anxiety and depression problems, but who knows if they stemmed from IBS, or if the IBS stemmed from them? Anyway, I started taking a low dose of anti-depressant. It has taken quite a few months, but not only am I feeling happier and more positive (I too was feeling desperately depressed about my IBS problems), but my IBS symptoms are a whole lot better. I think without the tablets, regardless of how bad my IBS was, I would still be very depressed.I think also that the anti-depressants can help regardless of your mental state, as I believe IBS is linked to serotonin receptors in the bowel, and anti-depressants work on these receptors in the brain, possibly in the bowel as well.Anyway, good luck. Please write back and let us know how you go, whatever decision you make.
Lbee.
 

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Dear SpliffI think I understand a little better. Therapy prob will not work. I was recommended therapy back in the day. The prob is that whatever kind of therapist it is they are simply just not on to it enough to be of any benefit to you. I could psychoanalyse and suss out their issues better than they ever could me and I hadn't wasted time on the training they get. They will help a lot of people in various situations though (read: others don't attack what I have said) It will help to talk about your problems at the least and you might on the off chance find some guru counsellor so choice is up to you.For me I like to think that your problems are primarily physical and it is only secondary at most to deal with the mental component. Everyone always talks about the mind/body link and how much the mind affects the body. In my view no one looks enough at the exact opposite! How much the physical body adversely affects the mind!!!!!I think you need something fundamentally different to help you out. That is why your average or even good counsellor will be like trying to clean a car with a toothbrush.Sadly you are not in New Zealand so as to properly deal with the physical problems in the LOGICAL CORRECT WAY. In terms of mental element you may want to consider "Holosync". see it at www.centerpointe.com It is supposed to be really really good and sounds useful for you. It is a bit expensive but has a 1 year money back thing.I hope you do ok! go from
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ScottySwottyp.s. do consider the holosync. E-mail me if you want.
 

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Dear SpliffI think I understand a little better. Therapy prob will not work. I was recommended therapy back in the day. The prob is that whatever kind of therapist it is they are simply just not on to it enough to be of any benefit to you. I could psychoanalyse and suss out their issues better than they ever could me and I hadn't wasted time on the training they get. They will help a lot of people in various situations though (read: others don't attack what I have said) It will help to talk about your problems at the least and you might on the off chance find some guru counsellor so choice is up to you.For me I like to think that your problems are primarily physical and it is only secondary at most to deal with the mental component. Everyone always talks about the mind/body link and how much the mind affects the body. In my view no one looks enough at the exact opposite! How much the physical body adversely affects the mind!!!!!I think you need something fundamentally different to help you out. That is why your average or even good counsellor will be like trying to clean a car with a toothbrush.Sadly you are not in New Zealand so as to properly deal with the physical problems in the LOGICAL CORRECT WAY. In terms of mental element you may want to consider "Holosync". see it at www.centerpointe.com It is supposed to be really really good and sounds useful for you. It is a bit expensive but has a 1 year money back thing.I hope you do ok! go from
to
ScottySwottyp.s. do consider the holosync. E-mail me if you want.
 

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Dear Spliff....Sorry I missed your post but I have been out on the road for two days...no not standing in traffic, driving in it
I have read what you write this time, in the context of all that has gone before, and your responses to input from the others.I have been around many people who feel like you do, and the mother of my son was also a person who used to cut on herself...many times. Sux as it is, this almost always goes back to the garbage you had heaped upon you previously in some form or another. And I think you know this, but I also understand why you do not want to go there.I also understand your lack of faith in therapy, as it is true the quality of therapists is quite hit and miss, and when they try to go straight for your throat about issues you clearly do not wish to consciously explore, well, no relationship is possible with a therapist who is not competent nor compasisonate enought to work within YOUR zone of comfort on your problems.However, I also am not a beleiver that for persons like yourself, the only alternative is limited to seeking a pharmaceutical approach either.And while dietary therapy based upon a complete workup for allergy or intolerance could have some benefit, I do not feel from what you describe this is what you need most, nor is going to make the biggest difference. Plus uit actaully would require more effort than therapy...and is tough to do at college without your own food prep facilities and a strong desire to do so.Persons who feel like you do, just from my experience (which may not be worth in some peoples' opinion the bandwidth it occupies, which bothers me not in the least), nevertheless my experience has been that to deal with the underlying issues and resolve them requires broadening ones' horizons a bit to take into account therapies that will help reorder the subconscious and (for lack of a better word, but it is useful in ayurvedic and chinese medicine) the "energy body" passively. Therapies which can help reorder certain learned behaviors which can and do manifest themselves physically should be on your "to do" list.This kind of limits one to the various forms of yog paractice or hypnotherapy (as CBT is clearly not for you).Due to your situation at the university, my gut tells me that you are not in a place where the structure of yog nor the active principles are doable for you. A passive approach is required. And I am also inclined to think that Mike Mahoney's approach is at this time the best suited to your symptom set as you describe it.If you have not participated in Eric forum on hypnotherapy, I personally recommend you do. Discuss these issues with eric or with Mike M. and I strongly recommend their protocols as being the ones I think suit you the best.On an absolute basis the cost of that program is nominal. But if cash is a problem maybe they can work with you on that I cannot speak for them (payments or something). Also, do not seek out the approval of those who do no support you in the first place, as you will just get what you always get: the desire to see you fail expressed in the form of discouragement. If you cannot avoid people who will do this to you, at least avoid the discussion when with them and stick to other subjects. You will feel better if you do not expect from people that which they have already demonstrated they cannot give. [Unless you are into masochism
in which case these sadists are all geared up for you).BUT from what you describe, and from my personal observations of others displaying your feelings and symptoms, I am quite convinced that this approach (HT) at this time offers your best chance of feeling better.Please consider it OK ?
Eat well. Think well. be well.MNL
 

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Dear Spliff....Sorry I missed your post but I have been out on the road for two days...no not standing in traffic, driving in it
I have read what you write this time, in the context of all that has gone before, and your responses to input from the others.I have been around many people who feel like you do, and the mother of my son was also a person who used to cut on herself...many times. Sux as it is, this almost always goes back to the garbage you had heaped upon you previously in some form or another. And I think you know this, but I also understand why you do not want to go there.I also understand your lack of faith in therapy, as it is true the quality of therapists is quite hit and miss, and when they try to go straight for your throat about issues you clearly do not wish to consciously explore, well, no relationship is possible with a therapist who is not competent nor compasisonate enought to work within YOUR zone of comfort on your problems.However, I also am not a beleiver that for persons like yourself, the only alternative is limited to seeking a pharmaceutical approach either.And while dietary therapy based upon a complete workup for allergy or intolerance could have some benefit, I do not feel from what you describe this is what you need most, nor is going to make the biggest difference. Plus uit actaully would require more effort than therapy...and is tough to do at college without your own food prep facilities and a strong desire to do so.Persons who feel like you do, just from my experience (which may not be worth in some peoples' opinion the bandwidth it occupies, which bothers me not in the least), nevertheless my experience has been that to deal with the underlying issues and resolve them requires broadening ones' horizons a bit to take into account therapies that will help reorder the subconscious and (for lack of a better word, but it is useful in ayurvedic and chinese medicine) the "energy body" passively. Therapies which can help reorder certain learned behaviors which can and do manifest themselves physically should be on your "to do" list.This kind of limits one to the various forms of yog paractice or hypnotherapy (as CBT is clearly not for you).Due to your situation at the university, my gut tells me that you are not in a place where the structure of yog nor the active principles are doable for you. A passive approach is required. And I am also inclined to think that Mike Mahoney's approach is at this time the best suited to your symptom set as you describe it.If you have not participated in Eric forum on hypnotherapy, I personally recommend you do. Discuss these issues with eric or with Mike M. and I strongly recommend their protocols as being the ones I think suit you the best.On an absolute basis the cost of that program is nominal. But if cash is a problem maybe they can work with you on that I cannot speak for them (payments or something). Also, do not seek out the approval of those who do no support you in the first place, as you will just get what you always get: the desire to see you fail expressed in the form of discouragement. If you cannot avoid people who will do this to you, at least avoid the discussion when with them and stick to other subjects. You will feel better if you do not expect from people that which they have already demonstrated they cannot give. [Unless you are into masochism
in which case these sadists are all geared up for you).BUT from what you describe, and from my personal observations of others displaying your feelings and symptoms, I am quite convinced that this approach (HT) at this time offers your best chance of feeling better.Please consider it OK ?
Eat well. Think well. be well.MNL
 

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Spliff-My intent was not in incense you last night. I was so glad that I was online and read your post soon after you posted it. I had thought of you all day - hoping that because I was 'out there' when you sent your note - that I helped. It is frustrating to me in the way you responded but I still wish you well whatever you decide
 

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Spliff-My intent was not in incense you last night. I was so glad that I was online and read your post soon after you posted it. I had thought of you all day - hoping that because I was 'out there' when you sent your note - that I helped. It is frustrating to me in the way you responded but I still wish you well whatever you decide
 
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