Shyra,My grand daughter is visiting so I have been off the board mostly for two days. I am so sorry that you had a panic attack at work. I too have had then for 25 years about. They would come and go, too often at times, and the Xanax used to help but the side effects are not always best so my pharmacist suggested Prozac. I switched about 8 yrs ago. Then I seemed to not do to well on that in my opinion so started taking natural St John's Wort. That helped some but later went off of it later after seeking help from a therapist.I had lived the last8 terrible years luckily traveling in a lovely van . We had two of them over about 15 years. Later when my IBS and panic attacks got worse, my husband bought a porta pot at Sears and I was ever so much more comfortable.But the main thing I found that I LET disturb me was crowds and busy and noisy places like restaurants. We have eaten out for years and a noisy one would often set me off into an attack and followed by D before or right after leaving the restaurant. I finally decided not choose less loud restaurants and those that I could eat most foods there without getting sick. Also, being familiar with the staff helped. But that was not my only problem. Just standing in a grocery store line or movie line was hard as I was always afraid I would have D and have to go. Usually this fear if I did not breathe right and try to relax(OFTEN impossible), would throw me into a panic attack. The buggy got parked, and off the their restroom I went. These are just a few. Others are never shopping or going in the car with anyone but myself or with my husband. He is my safeguard and I have tried to stop that of late . Even to the extend of even keeping different hours to convince myself that I can do without him if I had too. I mean like if he died or something.As someone said above, THOUGHTS can make you sick. In most instances I told you about above, it was thoughts and fear that caused my IBS or the panic attacks. I did let the thoughts get the best of me. What if?? What IF??I finally got to the point that I went to church and that was it. I do go to dinner quite often. Many times I either got sick there or later. Then fearing an accident, had a panic attack many times. Just thinking about a trip even to the store made me sick.In 1998 FEB, I decided that something had to be done about this. I was tired of my life and wanted it back. I was depressed, had a terrible case of insomnia and stayed sick so much. But not enough to lose the weight I had gained. Just a few pounds thank goodness. My husband retired early and I was bored out of my mind. I missed my friend and children. My relatives but his Dad and sister were not nearby, so never saw them very often. I visited my Mother maybe once a year. He had a hold on me and I did not realize it either. I could have gone anytime alone all of those years and I was too dependent to know it and also had children and sick family too tie me down. And, I plan to from now on he is tied up or does not want to go. He worries so will just have to worry about me taking a trip alone. Or he can go for as many days as I care to do so. I should have realized and had therapy years ago. Did hypno 2 yrs and it as good and then quite as I as working and had no time. It helped a lot but I took lomotil and Librax prior to each 30 minute trip to that therapist. No one want to talk about themselves but it is a must.The Gestault therapist helped me so much. I had to pay as my BCAL did not pay for it. But I knew that he could help me. He helped me work out my fears and undertand them and why I had them and what to do about it.He insisted on me taking a part time job or volunteering but there are many reasons that has not occured yet. But I did begin art lessons this Feb and still go almost once weekly. Rubber stamp art and it is so much fun. My therapist sent me to a psychiatrist and he put me on medication. Actually, he did that when I was going on vacation the first year. Then after the driving panic and anxiety, the doctor doubled my Buspar that I was taking for anxiety. I was able to finish driving hubby the rest of that year. It took a lot out of me too and I told him that never again would I drive him for a year. I have done in three years, different times, but was the roughest this time .But that does not get you fixed by this long story is of interest. Tonight we took our grand daughter to the restaurant that she loves . I over heard our waitress, a very good and lovely lady, telling the next table about her being gone from work a week as she had been very sick.Said that she thought she was having a heart attack with all of the symptoms you explained as well. She as taken to the er and he wanted her to sit down. She said no way could she. They gave her medicaton and ran some lab and she was fine. She had anxiety and a full blown panic attack. I just smiled to myself and felt so sorry for her. One would never have known. She said she was rx'd Paxil and Xanax and is doing just fine now. She was surprised that she was under stress but she supposed that her FOUR jobs could be the stessor! She said now she only works THREE!! Can you believe that? Her hours are not real long at the one we ate at tonight so she must work several short hours here and there.Anyway, I would never have guessed that lovely lady had panic or anxiety at all.It chooses to rule us if we let it do it. I w as a prisioner to it for a long time. DO NOT! DO NOT!, let it rule you and tell you where and when you can go. Face it head on after you get on the meds for anxiety. You can do it. You can do it with counseling an dguidance and a lot of determination. Or you can be a POH(prisoner of house)like too many of use. Making yourself face places that are uncomfortableis called I think reality exposure I think. Someone jump in if that is the incorrect term. I know someone else knows the term. Go where you hate to go if at all possible until it is no longer a chore for you. Go to work. You might not stay but do not go with that attitude. Go with saying I will stay and I will try to have control of myself. It takes practice and the deep breathing goes a long way to help. I did self hypnosis for years before leaving the house and it did help.Now I am eating Ezekiel 4:9 bread and it has performed miracles. I no longer have the D and I do watch trigger foods . This is only in ONE months time too.
It is marvelous and if you are IBS C,D o G, it will help. Then when you have the confiedence that I almost have, you can do anything and panic will not be as much or maybe never.
You need counseling, relaxation like yoga , meditation or the tapes,, something to first control the IBS, medication for the panic and anxiety I would think. NIP this in the BUD. You can do it. Also the employees will understand and if you explain it to them as there are millions more like us. You boss will took if he or she is any kind of a human being. I am sure they know a similar case. We can let FEAR just rule and ruin or lives. TAke it from one who was so agarophobic that it was terrible. Everyone on here is or was afraid of the symptoms and results of IBS and even panic for many at some time. But most have done something or learned coping methods. That will be your goal in therapy and should be it now. You will overcome this trust me. Just take your time and take the paths you need to to do it.If you are a religious person, prayer never ever hurts anyone. You might not get immediate results, but I have done something right is time. It is about time as most will ECHO.Never be embarrased about telling us or anyone of your friend or employers as most do understand this.This has been too long but I shared private things with you to let you are not alone.I still have some problems but have made progress. I sold our van. Bought a darling PT Cruiser. Threw away the porta pota an during this thinking period of whether I could get rid of a van was rough on me mentally and I stayed sick a lot with D. After we had it, I knew it had no potty in there, I had to accept it. But my husband did buy a portable that is under the back seat just in case and this toilet top fits on a small lined bucket. Now that gives me the security in a car where before it was impossible to go far , on a trip or out to eat. I still have work to do, but with the E Bread, I am amost well and that is my goal. Then to do something about the panic. Even it that means taking meds for the rest of my life. But I doubt if I will. I hope not but for now, I feel they do help some so I take them as prescribed. The BB gave a lot of great advice . But never let anyone tell you it is in your head. Well, it is caused from something we fear. When I get to thinking about something that I am letting a panic attack build up, I finally say in my head, SHUT UP SHUT UP. Let it GO . Usually I can and that stops the panic or IBS. Also that is one time I can someone to shut up and get away with it!
I hope something I said will help you decide to return to work. I worked for 10 years before my huband retired but I would like to find a part time job now to keep me busy and we all can use the money.I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers that you will have success riding of this demon Panic and anxiey before it gets the best of you. I have kicked it out of my life and it tried to return today. I just did deep breathing and repeated in my head to leave me alone.! I hope it will from now one.It might return all of my life but I hope not and if so I will know how to deal with it.Stress is a know killer so we have to stop it in its tracks. I relate panic to stress and fear.I quit my therapy after 2 yrs almost.I am better. The depression if fine if I can get around people. That is why I like to eat out but it used to be a battle as I got sick 9 out of 10 dinners.I control and watch for trigger foods. I have taken calcium for the IBS and it helps some. But not the panic. But the Ezekiel bread had stopped my D. I did have gas today as I was not drinking enough water and also had eaten pizza 2 days ago. I am fine tonight.May I suggest that you see if the doctor can give you a RX soon and let you start ridding of that anxiety. IT IS so bad I know.Hang in, Go on to work and let us know how things go. And buy some of that Ezekiel bread. It has honestly saved my life!
[This message has been edited by trishb (edited 10-10-2000).]