[CrappyProblem]

Hi everyone,I'm a guy in my 30s. I've never been officially diagnosed with IBS, but I do have major chronic constipation problems and sometimes diarrhea, and I feel so alone.The problem has been exacerbated by the fact that I am currently living with my father and wife who is not understanding at all and thinks I'm making it up and just making problems for her making my constipation and poop shyness even more pronounced.I have never been "regular", I hear stories of the "normal people" who poo a couple of times a DAY (!) or take a daily morning painless, poo, well wouldn't that be nice, lol. I think I am doing good if I go once every few DAYS, and my normal is once a week, and once every two weeks has not been uncommon. Right now it's about once every few days.In the last few years, I began to develop horrible problems with constipation after I began dieting and trying to lose weight and be healthy. I've lost a significant amount of weight btw, but am still fat. Well when I was more severely obese, I had no problems to speak of pooping because I ate lots of fatty food which slid right down the system, but whenever I try to eat anything normal and/or healthy, I have SEVERE constipation, and by that I mean it must feel like a dry object the size of a watermelon passing through an area the size of a golf ball, and sometimes it gets stuck. It can be excruciatingly painful beyond belief, and whenever the constipation is that bad it is usually accompanied by blood, I assume the body's response to get the thing moved through.The usual standbys don't work for me such as fiber or prunes. Sometimes it helps "a bit". Now when I eat the so-called "bad' or "junk" foods like processed soups like spaghettios or chocolate, everything slides right out

with little pain and if anything my problem then becomes diarrhea. But then the blood disappears, so I'm thinking I probably don't have colon cancer, but perhaps a fissure or a hemorrhoid.So at this point I'm just at a loss. I feel like a freak of nature. I simply cannot eat "healthy" without excruciating painful constipation. At times, I feel like I'm lucky not to go to the hospital, it can be so painful, and afterwords my rear end can be in pain the ENTIRE rest of the day and I'm pretty much out of commission.It's gotten to the point I fast often on the theory that nothing in, nothing out.

Because basically I've developed a phobia of pooping, or rather fear of constipation. I have ZERO support at home because of this, I just feel so lost.And, I'm beginning to question if the reason I'm fat is because I've never been regular. Do the thinner people just poop like multiple times a day? Is my obesity the result of food just staying in the body and being absorbed as fat?Also, am wondering if this might be an allergic reaction to multiple foods. Do I have perhaps a sugar or a white flour allergy? I heard bread was good for you, but after a constipation attack eating white bread, I read that white bread was the worst you could eat, but finding natural whole wheat bread, is difficult to find and expensive compared to the fake dyed "brown" bread cheaply available in stores chocked full of HFCS.So I was just wondering if anyone else knows what I'm talking about and perhaps has any food ideas that I can eat that are at the same time healthy, but pass as easily for me as the processed stuff, such as chocolate or kid's soups like spaghettios.I try to explain to people when they ask why I don't "eat healthy" my problem and explain that I'd rather not be excruciating pain, but it usually goes in one ear and out the other.Another problem I had was that not only were my constipated poops EXTREMELY painful, but they would frequently stop up the toilet, which was horribly embarrassing. Thankfully I solved that problem by buying wooden dowel rods sold in your local crafts store or Walmart type store and smashing the poop up into a soup. Problem solved, no more stopped up toilets, in case anyone is having this embarrassing issue. So at least that problem is solved.But the issue of the problem of voiding the food that is inside my body without horrible pain is my main concern at the moment. What do I do? I just wanna be normal and not have pain in such a basic issue.Right now lost my job, so I don't have insurance so I really can't get the problem checked out by a doctor, so I'm just lost.Other problems I have are my "use of toilet paper" to which my Asian stepmother believes I am simply stopping up the toilet with "massive TP", argh. So she actually banned me from using it (!). But I have to anyway, I refuse to throw bloodied, crappy TP in the trash, just eww. I feel like no one understands at all. And, I'm truly at the end of my rope.Any advice or words of encouragement would be appreciated. Just knowing I'm not alone would help.Anyway thanks for listening.

 

[Kathleen M.]

You do not absorb twice as many calories because your stool stays in the colon 3 days rather than 2 or anything like that.You absorb all the nutrients in the small intestine in the first couple of hours after the food is in there.Actually obese people often have faster transit issues rather than chronic constipation, so it isn't the fat that makes you constipated either, nor do you need to be constipated to get fat.Not eating for long periods of time likely makes your transit through the colon even slower and more disordered as the normal thing to happen is the colon moves things along after every meal. You don't eat regular meals, you don't get that normal move it along thing going on regularly.Allergy issues usually cause skin or breathing problems (even with food allergies) but when they effect the GI tract they tend to cause diarrhea, not constipation.Have you talked to the doctor about this?If you cannot or will not see a doctor about this have you tried miralax (it is now over the counter) every single day for a few weeks. You may need them every day since your issues are chronic.Even if you will only do dietary things like prunes you may need to dose with the sorbitol in them every day for a week or two before you really see regular results. Osmotic laxatives aren't a quick fix eat a prune and poop an hour later. They need to be through all the stool before they really can do much good so that may mean the stuff before you start may need to work itself out before you really see the difference.

 

[CrappyProblem]

Thanks will check into it. Am just so frustrated.Wanted to add as an aside, that I've also tried enemas with limited success. For awhile they worked wonders, and no more pain, however lately even THOSE don't work, and nothing is scarier than an artificially induced "diarrhea" with something that doesn't want to come out, lol.I will look into the things you suggested.

 

[Jillywindy]

What do you mean by "healthy and normal" foods? What is considered healthy and normal by the general community is not necessarily healthy to a person with IBS. What's healthy for us is that which keeps our GI systems going nicely and this varies with the individual. I suggest you read the links on diet from this forum and educate yourself as to what sorts of foods are likely to suit you, especially the information on soluble and insoluble fibre. Don't try to lose weight at this stage but eat to get your system functioning and everything else will follow. But probably you can get better results from eating foods which have the same effect on your GI tract are not "chocolates and children,s spaghetti".

 

[CrappyProblem]

What do you mean by "healthy and normal" foods? What is considered healthy and normal by the general community is not necessarily healthy to a person with IBS. What's healthy for us is that which keeps our GI systems going nicely and this varies with the individual. I suggest you read the links on diet from this forum and educate yourself as to what sorts of foods are likely to suit you, especially the information on soluble and insoluble fibre. Don't try to lose weight at this stage but eat to get your system functioning and everything else will follow. But probably you can get better results from eating foods which have the same effect on your GI tract are not "chocolates and children,s spaghetti".

By "healthy and normal" I mean I can't eat a lot of the fruit people pressure me to eat because I am sensitive to it. For example, apples give me extreme dry mouth and are hard to swallow. Walnuts make my tongue swell.Unless I eat a lot of the fat-laden processed foods, it doesn't go through my system smoothly. I know it seems ridiculous about the chocolates and spaghettios, but honestly that's what I'm down to, no matter how much of a "joke" it might seem. Perhaps beans might help, but again something like chili con carne really isn't altogether that far removed from spaghettios.Anyway thanks, I will look into it.

 

[Jillywindy]

You need to be asking yourself "what is it about the fat laden, processed foods that seems to work better?" Personally I would think that it's the fat, not the processed bit that might suit you. If you read the information here, you will learn that fat is not bad, as long as it is the right type of fat. A lot of people here have had relief with a high fat and protein, low carb diet. I am one of those. I have been gradually reducing my carbs for a couple of months and have been following a no starch diet as detailed in Carol Sinclair's book for a week with good results. I am not crowing about it yet, but have had several days now with very little pain although I'm not completely symptom free yet. I keep a food diary and have done so for months.If you follow a pre-conceived, well-thought out diet which includes all the required nutrients (starches provide calories but are not a required nutrient) , then others should be able to respect your choices. I don't eat a lot of things that others consider healthy and at first my family were concerned about what I was doing. Now that they can see the results, they are more supportive. I don't eat apples or walnuts either (yet). But I don't eat chocolate or processed foods either. You do need to change your diet for sure - it doesn't contain sufficient nutrients - but to what is the question.