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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi all,

Having had IBS for several years I had difficulty celebrating my birthday and events where other people hoped you joined in on their celebration (their birthday, wedding, work accomplishment etc...).
Usually a lot of these celebrations have a sort of desert or decorated desert (usually a cake or cupcake) as the congratulatory centerpiece.

I couldn't partake in that for over half a decade, and it was kind of challenging and stressful for me and those who cared about me to produce this celebratory desert for the occasion.

So, I was wondering what you guys have done during these types of events?

Did you guys find a special cake you can handle without side effects or did you take a lot of enzymes and probiotics before the event and eat it whatever they gave you anyway?
 

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My IBS doesn't allow me to work but I do have experience with birthdays. At least with my family, I am the only one who needs specific food but for birthdays or events we have a workaround. My son's birthday for example, we get a normal cake that he would want and I buy myself some muffins to eat. Sure its not the same thing but its his birthday and I don't want things like that to be swamped with making sure I can eat especially when everyday is like that. When its my birthday, I always have a gluten free cake and take my dairy tablets and digestion enzymes like with everything I eat. Hope that helps. It can make you feel excluded but I think a compromise is necessary in these situations. But I think that counts for both sides. So, it shouldn't all be on you.

If someone offered me a slice of cake at some work event, I would politely decline and explain that I can't eat it due to my health. If they tried to make me feel bad or guilty for not eating, then I would leave. Also, if it was a work event then I would expect some people there to know me and that I can't eat things like that so I would be a little offended. I would also expect those planning said events to take note of any allergies or health problems anyone attending would have. Or figure out who's planning and let them know beforehand so you could come up with something so you can still eat and enjoy yourself
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
My IBS doesn't allow me to work but I do have experience with birthdays. At least with my family, I am the only one who needs specific food but for birthdays or events we have a workaround. My son's birthday for example, we get a normal cake that he would want and I buy myself some muffins to eat. Sure its not the same thing but its his birthday and I don't want things like that to be swamped with making sure I can eat especially when everyday is like that. When its my birthday, I always have a gluten free cake and take my dairy tablets and digestion enzymes like with everything I eat. Hope that helps. It can make you feel excluded but I think a compromise is necessary in these situations. But I think that counts for both sides. So, it shouldn't all be on you.

If someone offered me a slice of cake at some work event, I would politely decline and explain that I can't eat it due to my health. If they tried to make me feel bad or guilty for not eating, then I would leave. Also, if it was a work event then I would expect some people there to know me and that I can't eat things like that so I would be a little offended. I would also expect those planning said events to take note of any allergies or health problems anyone attending would have. Or figure out who's planning and let them know beforehand so you could come up with something so you can still eat and enjoy yourself
Thanks Nicole, so GF cake and diary/digestive enzymes. Good plan!

Yeah, I hate telling people/work planner what I can or can't eat. Over the years thats changed and gotten better, but before, its a better question "what can you eat?" because that was a much shorter list than what can you. I just knew for several years no one could easily accomodate me, so I just tried to convince them to forget about desert and just go to a steak/fish or barbeque place. Often they'd have meat with minimal seasoning and that was safe for me, plus I didn't often buy pricey meat so it was still a treat for me.. I actually didn't really have a birthday cake for several years while my IBS was bad.. people tried but there wasn't really anything for me that worked that wouldn't cause some sort of upset. As for the enzymes, I always have to take much higher dose than what the bottle says otherwise, I don't get much relief. I'd have test it out first to know (by brand) how much to take of each. But, I'm sure that's a good plan that most people could do, as you said compromise.

Thanks
 

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I hate the whole "what can you eat?" question personally. My IBS doesn't have a lot in that respect. I would ask for there to be some smaller cakes to be GF which is usually the safest for me and if possible some of the actual food. If they can't get food or its too expensive, then I will inform them that I would grab something outside the party and bring it with me. Especially if it was going to be a long one. No reason I shouldn't eat just because I have to be somewhere. I've had it before and its not something you want to live through.

I hate talking to people but in situations like this where there's even a slightly higher chance I'll be able to eat, I will do it. My IBS doesn't allow me to eat before noon so I know about being hungry for periods of time and its not fun. That feeling of isolation and exclusion from you eating separately from everyone else never really goes away. Not to me anyway but just being able to be in that moment and a part of that memory makes up for it I think. Especially when its a really important one. IBS means that we have to eat very specifically and always be mindful of what we do but that doesn't mean that we have to isolate ourselves from everyone because of it.

The medicine I take which is the only thing I can take and I'm not even sure why its the exception. It is Holland and Barrett branded immune support and night time digestion enzymes. They are 1 a day plus my trusted Milkaid lactase enzyme which are the only reason I can eat any dairy. You still suffer from time to time but your a lot safer with it. Also, not sure this will help but next year I was planning on testing some new chewable vitamins I found online. It's a company that can give you a unique to you set of vitamins. So it can cover more than one health problem. I filled out the quiz and it covers IBS and PCOS specifically, which I both have amongst other things. So, I think I might try that out and see if it is the way to go. I think it was like £33 a month. Not cheap but if I can cover even more than just my IBS maybe its worth it. They may have something similar in the US that could be worth a look if you think it might be good.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I hate the whole "what can you eat?" question personally. My IBS doesn't have a lot in that respect. I would ask for there to be some smaller cakes to be GF which is usually the safest for me and if possible some of the actual food. If they can't get food or its too expensive, then I will inform them that I would grab something outside the party and bring it with me. Especially if it was going to be a long one. No reason I shouldn't eat just because I have to be somewhere. I've had it before and its not something you want to live through.

I hate talking to people but in situations like this where there's even a slightly higher chance I'll be able to eat, I will do it. My IBS doesn't allow me to eat before noon so I know about being hungry for periods of time and its not fun. That feeling of isolation and exclusion from you eating separately from everyone else never really goes away. Not to me anyway but just being able to be in that moment and a part of that memory makes up for it I think. Especially when its a really important one. IBS means that we have to eat very specifically and always be mindful of what we do but that doesn't mean that we have to isolate ourselves from everyone because of it.

The medicine I take which is the only thing I can take and I'm not even sure why its the exception. It is Holland and Barrett branded immune support and night time digestion enzymes. They are 1 a day plus my trusted Milkaid lactase enzyme which are the only reason I can eat any dairy. You still suffer from time to time but your a lot safer with it. Also, not sure this will help but next year I was planning on testing some new chewable vitamins I found online. It's a company that can give you a unique to you set of vitamins. So it can cover more than one health problem. I filled out the quiz and it covers IBS and PCOS specifically, which I both have amongst other things. So, I think I might try that out and see if it is the way to go. I think it was like £33 a month. Not cheap but if I can cover even more than just my IBS maybe its worth it. They may have something similar in the US that could be worth a look if you think it might be good.
Nicole,
You summarize a good positive approach to managing and living with IBS. I relate to and feel similarly to your statements:

" just being able to be in that moment and a part of that memory makes up for it "

and

"IBS means that we have to eat very specifically and always be mindful of what we do but that doesn't mean that we have to isolate ourselves from everyone because of it."

I do think that is a good approach to find compromise in social situations while living with IBS. I did this for years as well, when I had IBS in a manageable position. I did however have to isolate when I couldn't manage my IBS in the early years of my diagnosis.

Hopefully, others will take some of your positive advice. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I hate the whole "what can you eat?" question personally. My IBS doesn't have a lot in that respect. I would ask for there to be some smaller cakes to be GF which is usually the safest for me and if possible some of the actual food. If they can't get food or its too expensive, then I will inform them that I would grab something outside the party and bring it with me. Especially if it was going to be a long one. No reason I shouldn't eat just because I have to be somewhere. I've had it before and its not something you want to live through.

I hate talking to people but in situations like this where there's even a slightly higher chance I'll be able to eat, I will do it. My IBS doesn't allow me to eat before noon so I know about being hungry for periods of time and its not fun. That feeling of isolation and exclusion from you eating separately from everyone else never really goes away. Not to me anyway but just being able to be in that moment and a part of that memory makes up for it I think. Especially when its a really important one. IBS means that we have to eat very specifically and always be mindful of what we do but that doesn't mean that we have to isolate ourselves from everyone because of it.

The medicine I take which is the only thing I can take and I'm not even sure why its the exception. It is Holland and Barrett branded immune support and night time digestion enzymes. They are 1 a day plus my trusted Milkaid lactase enzyme which are the only reason I can eat any dairy. You still suffer from time to time but your a lot safer with it. Also, not sure this will help but next year I was planning on testing some new chewable vitamins I found online. It's a company that can give you a unique to you set of vitamins. So it can cover more than one health problem. I filled out the quiz and it covers IBS and PCOS specifically, which I both have amongst other things. So, I think I might try that out and see if it is the way to go. I think it was like £33 a month. Not cheap but if I can cover even more than just my IBS maybe its worth it. They may have something similar in the US that could be worth a look if you think it might be good.
Nicole,

I'm trying to make an IBS-safe cake.

Would you mind telling me if you've noticed any negative reaction (diarrhea, constipation, gas, abdominal pain) from consuming palm oil/palm fruit oil/ palm kernel oil?
They're found in a lot of vegan cake frosting, vegan butter, or vegan creams.

Appreciate the feedback!
 

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I have never noticed palm oil in my food but its never been something I've thought to look for so I've probably had it quite a bit. I would assume it to be those few times on eating gf snacks that I have had an immediate problem. That would usually be gas and some mild abdominal pain. If I ate a lot of it then the pain would be worse. Sorry I can't help more with that but I will pay more attention to it in the future.

Cake is something I can help with though. Sometimes I make cake from scratch so I don't have any issues or literally any time I want cookies because it's the only way to get it. I use gf flour, usually Dove's Farm if that helps. Having xanthan gum helps to bind the mixture. I've heard vitamin c powder helps bread rise but I've not tried that yet incase you were making bread. Also use dairy free chocolate chips. That may be where palm oil in comes in actually so you might want to double check the brand. I use the same butter I eat with and that is usually sunflower oil based or olive oil based. Mostly the olive one. Doesn't change taste at all. Check your timing too as gf can cook faster and burn easier. Also, if your having a fruit layer, always make sure the fruit and Gelatin are safe for you. There is alternative Gelatin made from seaweed that is a good alternative. Hope that helps.
 

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Another thing I forgot to mention is if your thinking of making a victoria sponge for example, it would be best to make your own jam. One of many things I've learned with IBS is making your own of anything is a lot safer. Plus with making your own jam, you don't have any of the added preservatives or chemicals added to increase shelf life. Whenever I have a problem or I see a new food, I always google it with IBS. One thing I found out was that its very bad for people with IBS to eat the seeds, pith or pit of fruits. I know its different for everyone but for me, I take these warnings seriously. If something has a chance of causing a major attack then its not worth it. I know what a major attack is for me and nothing is worth that. I don't even know the difference between a pith or a pit. My point is when I make strawberry jam for example, I always make it smooth. No seeds, no problem. Can't eat strawberries on their own but as a smooth jam I can. So, that's another thing to think about. Making jam can be time consuming if you don't have a jam maker but its worth it. I'm hoping for a dehydrator and a food blender/soup maker for christmas. My partner says I shouldn't have too many gadgets for cooking but I see them as increasing the amount of things I can cook. Hope this helps.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Another thing I forgot to mention is if your thinking of making a victoria sponge for example, it would be best to make your own jam. One of many things I've learned with IBS is making your own of anything is a lot safer. Plus with making your own jam, you don't have any of the added preservatives or chemicals added to increase shelf life. Whenever I have a problem or I see a new food, I always google it with IBS. One thing I found out was that its very bad for people with IBS to eat the seeds, pith or pit of fruits. I know its different for everyone but for me, I take these warnings seriously. If something has a chance of causing a major attack then its not worth it. I know what a major attack is for me and nothing is worth that. I don't even know the difference between a pith or a pit. My point is when I make strawberry jam for example, I always make it smooth. No seeds, no problem. Can't eat strawberries on their own but as a smooth jam I can. So, that's another thing to think about. Making jam can be time consuming if you don't have a jam maker but its worth it. I'm hoping for a dehydrator and a food blender/soup maker for christmas. My partner says I shouldn't have too many gadgets for cooking but I see them as increasing the amount of things I can cook. Hope this helps.

Nicole,

Thank you so much for your helpful and detailed reply. I do hope it also helps others checking on this site. Yes, making your own cake/desired food from ingredients you know you can have is the safest option. However, my past job was very very time consuming and the little time I did have for myself I usually chose to spend it doing a favorite hobby (usually cycling or running) and spending time with friends (this is after was able to manage and then recover from my IBS).
That being said, I had already gotten used to being deprived for 7-8 years, so I didn't really prioritize making time to make treats for myself. No one in the circles I used to socialize with (where I lived those times) had any digestive issues really (maybe a few took lactaid, but that was it).
So, all that effort and time to look for a recipe and try it out would have been only for my own benefit,of which didn't make sense to me. IE - If I'm going to spend 4 hours researching a possible cake recipe, then hours going to stores to find ingredients and then another few hours making it for my own birthday, of which other people probably prefer the taste of a regular cake, so hence I'm only doing this for literally myself ---the math just didn't add up then.
I think a few friends found some gluten free cupcakes for me. They were thoughtful, but they had a TON of sugar, and not only do I get a head rush and headache from too much sugar, but I just don't like feeling bad or guilty from eating something. They also had a few ingredients that I had low tolerance to, so its not like i could eat too much of it anyway (corn for example).

I moved somewhere closer to family, so now there's one other person and maybe their friend who do have some intolerances or at least watch out for ingredients due to health conditions/recommendations.

It would be nice if just like they sell ready-made cakes in the store including now GF ready-made cakes. They sold some that were actually IBS and heath friendly... IE low sugar.
I've kind of found some recipes that satisfy that.
However, its the frosting that's tricky.

And just saturated fats in genera are not healthy to be consumed in large quantities. So even if/when I find an IBS- friendlier cow-butter substitute, large quantities of this substitute can't be good for anyone's heart health... So maybe go with offering healthy vegan fro-yo? Or vegan yogurt...



``
 

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I know how you feel with sugar. Not IBS related but if I eat too much then I just crash. Wake up 3/4 hours later carrying on a conversation I fell asleep in the middle of. Feels like seconds to me but time has other ideas. Doctors said it wasn't diabetes and that was that. There are a few routes to go to reduce sugar. The diabetes way is just one example where there are a multitude of ways to reduce sugar and salt in food to make it safe.

Some stores do sell ready made cakes but even though they are gluten free, they still have a lot of sugar and potential for other damaging ingredients which can make it tricky. If an IBS section of cakes existed it would solve all our problems. I used to loved baking but then it became less of a treat and more of this is the only way you can ever have this. Just my luck that gluten free would have its main substitute ingredient being oats. I'm terribly allergic and can't eat oats even if they're gluten free so if I want cookies or even donuts because no supermarket sells those, then I have to make it from scratch. You can understand how it becomes a chore after a while.

As for your frosting issue, I know there are ways but I can't remember too much off the top of my head. I can look into some more but if its vegan your after, how are you with coconut? Yoghurt icing could be good too. You can use fat free yoghurt and it will have less sugar as well.

Smaller cakes could also be an option and to save time you could do it from just one larger cake. That way you can have multiple sponge cakes and lessen the sugar.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I know how you feel with sugar. Not IBS related but if I eat too much then I just crash. Wake up 3/4 hours later carrying on a conversation I fell asleep in the middle of. Feels like seconds to me but time has other ideas. Doctors said it wasn't diabetes and that was that. There are a few routes to go to reduce sugar. The diabetes way is just one example where there are a multitude of ways to reduce sugar and salt in food to make it safe.

Some stores do sell ready made cakes but even though they are gluten free, they still have a lot of sugar and potential for other damaging ingredients which can make it tricky. If an IBS section of cakes existed it would solve all our problems. I used to loved baking but then it became less of a treat and more of this is the only way you can ever have this. Just my luck that gluten free would have its main substitute ingredient being oats. I'm terribly allergic and can't eat oats even if they're gluten free so if I want cookies or even donuts because no supermarket sells those, then I have to make it from scratch. You can understand how it becomes a chore after a while.

As for your frosting issue, I know there are ways but I can't remember too much off the top of my head. I can look into some more but if its vegan your after, how are you with coconut? Yoghurt icing could be good too. You can use fat free yoghurt and it will have less sugar as well.

Smaller cakes could also be an option and to save time you could do it from just one larger cake. That way you can have multiple sponge cakes and lessen the sugar.
Hey Nicole,

Sorry, I didn't see your question here. I have found a few frostings, I just wanted to know if it would work for most people with IBS. Personally, I can do coconut oil, but not full coconut milk. I believe the reason is because the milk has the fructans from the coconut, while coconut oil is JUST the oil alone.
I am/was frucatn intolerant.
These days I can tolerate some fructans but I still limit ithem, b/c I don't want to risk getting an upset, and its expensive for me to get back to normal each time I get out of my new normal (from a flare) so why risk it.
Yes, I did suggest the yogurt above, I have made my own from homemade almond milk. I like it. I actually personally dont have too much of a drive to make these cakes and sweets for myself. I just wanted to see if it was possible to make an IBS-friendly cake for most or the the most IBS sufferers/cancer patients/diabetes patients..
 

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I think it might be difficult to cater for such specifics all in one cake. I don't have experience with knowing anyone with cancer and I've not tried coconut oil or milk myself. I personally use olive oil or olive butter and I've never had a problem with that. I know diabetes means controlling the sugar levels and that will take research to find the right substitute. I do think its possible to create something that can cater for those specifications or even just something that is IBS friendly but it is possible with the right amount of research.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I think it might be difficult to cater for such specifics all in one cake. I don't have experience with knowing anyone with cancer and I've not tried coconut oil or milk myself. I personally use olive oil or olive butter and I've never had a problem with that. I know diabetes means controlling the sugar levels and that will take research to find the right substitute. I do think its possible to create something that can cater for those specifications or even just something that is IBS friendly but it is possible with the right amount of research.

Thanks Nicole!
Olive butter?
Would you mind sharing what band it is?
Thanks
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I would normally use an aldi brand olive butter but not sure you have that where you are. I have also used Bertolli though. That's quite nice. You might be able to find that brand.
Hey Nicole,

I looked it up. The aldi brand does have palm oil!
So, that means that since you've been using it and haven't complained, seems like its fine with you.

The Bertolli, seems to be more about making a "healthier" butter, where they dilute actual butter from milk (dairy) with olive oil. So, I guess that way people can dilute their intake of bad fat by combining it with a good fat (olive oil).

Thanks for the info. :)
 
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