[zayaka26]

The good thing is that my day ended up ok and right now I am feeling well. I had yet another interview; not actually a real interview but an offering for a teaching opening. Ok, there I went. Nobody was going to ask me anything other than "Do you accept?". Oh, if there were enough opening for the people that went. I got so anxious. I could not understand why. Last Tuesday I was actually interviewed and had to sit about two hours waiting and receiving an orientation, etc. and I was totally cool with it. I even started a conversation with a woman (totally unheard of me). And today that I was just supossed to be a vegetable and agree or disagree I felt like a thousand tiny ants were going up and down my whole body (not just my tummy) making me feel uncomfortable. And I must add I knew where the bathroom was, so my anxiety was not bathroom related, even though I had to use it once.I am thinking it had to do with the fact that I am totally negative about returning to the classroom. But the other job offerings are way too low for me to even consider (about a $500 difference which is too much). I know my tranquility does not have a price but my debt has to be paid. Also, I do not want to be the person that runs away from everything as a way of protection. I am just tired of that.I gave up an excellent oportunity because it envolved visiting clients. I do not want to be negative and think I could not do this type of job, but putting myself through such uncomfortable situations is not an option either. The best thing for me right now is to wait for another school and try to change my whole perspective.

Maybe I find a school that suits me better in which I feel comfortable. This will take a whole lobotomy to deprogram the feelings I have right now for continuing as a teacher. I used to love my job so much... BTW, it was only one offering for three teachers that we were. And I did not want that school; I was not the first one to choose, so... At least I had good news regarding my Regular Teachers License, probably things will start to settle from now on. I worked so har for this and I cannot believe I am giving up now that I have finished, after four years teaching and studying during the evenings. Life should come with a manual.

 

[BQ]

Oh (((Zay))) how disappointing. Perhaps an opportunity that has the right mix of staff and administration at a school might come along. Sure sounds like you like to teach but can't stand the administrative nonsense, which I can sure understand. Or, do you think that perhaps you could take another job with less pay and perhaps tutor a bit on the side or give private lessons to help supplement your income? Just a thought.I'll be keeping good thoughts for a good opportunity to come your way soon though.You have come so far and you should be feeling great about your anxiety level dropping. Maybe today just could have been you feeling, intuitively, that perhaps this wasn't the job for you??? You know, in my opinion, a "woman's intuition" is way under-estimated. LOL

Wishing you all the best in your job hunt. BQ

 

[zayaka26]

Thanks. The very first year I teached I understood why we have a two month off period during summer: June - to recover the mental stability and July - to enjoy the free time.

I say it in good humor but actually that is how it works.

 

[Lauralee]

Zayaka,As the mom of a special needs child, I am in awe of teachers. Teachers must have endless patience, imagination, courage and stamina to get through each day with a room full of kids. Throw in a few kids like mine, and you are a candidate for sainthood. I could never do the job that you do and I thank God every day that there are caring professionals who dedicate their lives to helping and teaching our children. It isn't an easy job and it sounds like you have had some problems with it in the past. It sounds to me like you really do want to teach, you just haven't found the right situation for you yet. Whatever you decide to do, you have my total support and I wish you well! Laura

 

[cookies4marilyn]

Hi Zayaka, Hang in there... I used to be a speech pathologist, and the kids were great... it was the administration that was difficult. If only we could just do our jobs... you have my support and prayers that the perfect situation awaits you..(((HUGS))) ~ Marilyn

 

[eric]

Zay, I liked this, "The very first year I teached I understood why we have a two month off period during summer: June - to recover the mental stability and July - to enjoy the free time. I say it in good humor but actually that is how it works. "Hang tough Zay and hope your doing better today and you will sort it all out, your doing well. "Life should come with a manual" I agree."Don't sweat the small stuff and its all small stuff." I mean that as just a thought. You'll get it sorted Zay. from this

to this

and soon enough your new boss will be saying this

then back to this

and then the new job will get old to this

but stay this

 

[JeanG]

Hang in there, zayaka! Teachers really are underappreciated, that's for sure. I don't know how you all do it.JeanG

 

[zayaka26]

A big

to the smilies thing you did eric. I like the sweat saying. And yes, I am doing my best to think that nothing is so big that I cannot handle it.Jeanne and Marilyn, the administration does not help sometimes, I agree. Hopefully the new school will be different.Lauralee, the last day of work I said something to one of the Special Ed's teachers and we started talking. First time I had a long talk with her because we never had the same lunch hour. If I thought I was under pressure she made me feel otherwise. She was leaving school for another one and turned out she told me she started having problems with her stomach.

I took my time to hear her out because I saw myself (2 years ago) reflected in her. At least she was happy to go to another school and be appreciated on her job. I have the most respect for Special Ed teachers. That is a job that I do not think I could do.

 

[Lauralee]

Zay,My son was in a regular second grade class this past year. I felt so sorry for his poor teacher because about half the class needed some kind of special attention. I don't see how she did it. She did retire at the end of the year, though, so we wonder if it was this particular class that finally drove her to it!

 

[zayaka26]

Second grade was difficult for us this year for that same reason, Lauralee. Three teachers passed through that classroom and then the fourth stayed. It must have been her calmed personality and the fact that two of the four little guys were changed to another school.