[21387]

Ive just been diagnosed with IBS about a month ago. I had a great job working in New Look (fashion shop) and my symptoms were getting worse, i was told i had to leave my job because of all my absences (even though i was in hospital most of the time) So i decided to had in my notice because i didnt know what was wrong with me then i got diagnosed with depression and IBS within a week which made me even more depressed.I am now too afraid to leave the house in case i have the excrutiating pain i have on a daily basis i cant do anything anymore because im to scared, My fiance doesnt understand and doesnt really care, i have a 2 year old son and i find it so hard to look after him properly as i am constantly running to the toilet and crying because of the pain. My antispasm drugs arent working and im so close to giving up all hope of having a normal life.Can someone help? i feel like i am the only one in the world with this and on this site is the only way i can get some help.Does any one have any advise on how i can get through life with this condition?

 

[22756]

First of all. You a far from being the only one with this problem. Lets start out with what your taking for meds. Have you tried Calcium or immodiums? I find Vicodins work real good for cramps and urgency. The other question is what have you done about your diet. Have you stopped using caffines, and other gas causing foods. You'll find lots of help here.

 

[14813]

Hi SG,Ive had ibs for 4 years. You can get through life with this condition, it wont be easy but there are ways of easing the attacks. First look at your diet. You will most likely have to cut our all junk foods. Anything fatty, greasy or spicy will trigger an attack. Dairy, wheat, citrus fruits, fizzy drinks, and caffeine can all triggers attacks for people with ibs. You must remember that ibs is different for everyone so it might be a case of trial and error to find out what are your your trigger foods. Secondly, if you are stressed that may bring on an attack. I have a two and a half year old, so i know how hard it can be when all you can do is sit on the toilet on lie on the sofa. You have to find some way to relax and ease the pain. I find if im really tense then the pain is worse. Sometimes a hot bath can help to relax the muscles. I also listen to music to realx my mind. You will have bad days, but hopefully some good as well.Maybe you should consider natural medicines. I take aloe vera capsules for my digestion and charcoal capsules for the pain. You will find lots of helpfull advice here. Take care, feel free to ask questions anytime.Good luck,Pam xx

 

[kozzykai]

hi sammy,how are you doing? i know how you feel about your fiance not caring mine is the same!!! as far as he is concerned i have a tummy ache get over it!

just because his stomach is normal he doesnt understand

i have a 12yr old and a 5 yr old and trying to get the little one to school is awful if i am suffering(it is a 25 min walk away!!)i havent got a miracle cure i have tried loads of things and still feel the same .havent tried calcium and magnesium yet though might try that next!

what works for one person doesnt always work for you. are you on anything for your depression????just hang in there and keep using this site because it helps me a lot even though i would prefer to go to a group where you could talk face to face with people that would be cool!!there is no such groups down here in cornwall though(not where i live anyway) i send you a big hug anyway. i hope you feel a bit better soon

 

[Kathleen M.]

Check out www.ibsaudioprogram.com This HT program has helped a lot of people here and the whole afraid to leave the house thing only adds to the effects that our mind has on our gut. They talk and you can either ramp up symptoms or ramp them down based on how you react to them.It is worth checking out. More IBS and hypnosis infor www.ibshypnosis.com I did Cog. Behav. Therapy for my IBS and it makes a difference. One amazing difference is if I go into "how will I live my whole life in this much pain" vs "this too shall pass" does for how bad the symptoms get.I did the CBT in 1998 and have been pretty much IBS free since then.There is a CBT and HT forum as part of this board if you want to get more info on that.K.

 

[JudithB]

SammygordIf you look on another website www....com there you will find a lot of advice regarding living with ibs and how to make diet changes to help. I would also recommend a soluble fiber supplement - I actually send to the states for the Acacia fiber which .. site sells. Since taking that I have hardly had any pain - the soluble fiber soothes the bowels. Anyway if you log on to that site there is plenty therre to read and digest (!). I have found this site and that one invaluable and I am a long term sufferer (30years+).I know it is hard but try not to get too anxious about how you are - rest when you need to and do what you can when you are feeling reasonably okay. Hope this is helpful.JudithCoventry

 

[18548]

i was kinda interested to see what you guys would all write. I know it's really hard to keep going with all this - I'm still at school and find it really difficult to keep going sometimes. Luckily my guidance teacher teaches biology and she's been great but I'm dreading having to go through the exam period again. you will be amazed at what you can put up with though - I am!! What I will say is you need support at home - I've not been using this website long but it's already been a huge help. There's no substitute for help at home though so I'd say perhpas you and your fiance could perhaps sit down together and talk about how bad your IBS is. I know that can be hard so if you aren't happy about that maybe you could show them this site - it might give them a better idea of what you're going through. As for the depression, my friend is currently suffering from that and it probably isn't helping the situation with your finace - this alone will put a lot of pressure on them. I think it is essential you are entirely truthful with each other about how you are feeling, I know that perhaps the depression is making it difficult for you to know how you're feeling but just by talking I think they will be able to understand better what you are going through and it will also help you. Do you have a good friend who you could also talk to? Perhaps this would relieve some of the strain on your realtionship. It also sounds like you could do with some time to relax. I know thats hard with IBS - with my stomach and my friend we've been having some fun - but maybe you could spend a quiet night in the house watching a film together or something, just taking time out from worrying. I've probably not been much help but I reckon if you start thinking simple again and take pleasure in the little things then perhaps it might help. Distraction seems to work for my mate anyway!!

 

[21387]

are you on anything for your depression????

Unfortunatly not, my doctor wont give me any antidepresents, he just says he will send me to councelling which i dont think will help but my doctor is just not helping me at al he is very arrogant and not easy to talk to he makes me feel that i am being stupid and i dont look forward to going to see him.I have no close friends to talk to as i never go out because im worrying about my stomach and BECAUSE im worrying about my stomach surprize surprize it starts off again!Ive tried talking to my fiance but hes never at home he has two jobs because im not working and when he isnt working hes out with his mates getting drunk or hes staying at the pub where he works when im at home wondering (and worrying)where he is.

 

[20865]

S GordonMy advice to you is find a psychiatrist immediately to deal with thedepression. Until it is addressed you really can't tell how muchyour GI distress is being caused by the depression. I also sufferfrom depression and when it is not stabilized my GI symptomsare worse. Good Luck.Peter P.

 

[Kathleen M.]

Counselling can be just as effective as drugs for depression, so don't give up on it before even giving it a go.If your relationship with your doctor is really that bad it is time to go shopping for a new doctor, in my opinion.K.

 

[kozzykai]

sammy, try the counselling it didnt help me though! also i have seen a psychiatrist no help either he tried to find things that werent there!as for my doctor he is a complete waste of space as well!!

 

[21387]

Thanks for all your advice.But i really dont think im going to get rid of the depression now that ive just been told that i cant even claim ANY kind of benefit because i dint pay eniough national insurance when i was on maternity leave and i have bills coming out of my ears and no money to pay for them i dont know how i can go on, i cant get a job because of my IBS but i cant not work because i have no money i dont even have enough money do buy nappies and food for my son does anyone know of anywhere i can get advice about my situation and money because i cat go on like this my stomach is getting worse by the minute.

 

[14813]

Oh honey you sound miserable. First of all take a deep breath and calm down. Stressing over your situation will only bring on a bad attack!I'm in exactly the same situation as you.My son is 2 1/2 and goes to nursey full-time. I only stopped working recently, but i already had alot of debts, including morgage arrears. If i don't get a job soon, we wont be able to pay for his nursey fees and i cant look after him at home.

Most of the time I haven't got the energy to get up and go to work, and when i do im in and out of the toilet all day. I know you feel like you will never get out of the mess you're in, but you have to try and stay calm. The bills aren't going to get paid if you're stressed and ill all the time. ( it has taken me a while to realise that). Who told you you weren't entitled to any benefit?How long were you on Maternity leave? I went back to work after seven months. The way i try to get round it is , i registered with local empoloyment agencies. If you say you only want to temp, you can get short bookings that will see you through, and pay the most important bills. I would love to work from home, but as this seems impossible (all the home work i have looked into have been scams), so i have no choice but to work, but it definately is a struggle. If you did manage to claim Sickness Benefit, it's only 55 pounds a week anyway, and how much could you do with that.Hang in there honey, you have to, for the sake of your child. Can friends or family help, until you get some casual work, or maybe just work part time. Look around for local work. You never know what you might find.I hope this has been of some help to you.Im sending you a big hug with this message.

Take care, and good luckPam xx

 

[jazzynala]

quote:Originally posted by Sammygord:Thanks for all your advice.But i really dont think im going to get rid of the depression now that ive just been told that i cant even claim ANY kind of benefit because i dint pay eniough national insurance when i was on maternity leave and i have bills coming out of my ears and no money to pay for them i dont know how i can go on, i cant get a job because of my IBS but i cant not work because i have no money i dont even have enough money do buy nappies and food for my son does anyone know of anywhere i can get advice about my situation and money because i cat go on like this my stomach is getting worse by the minute.

Well, none of that can help things!! Control your stress. My IBS improved 80% when I left my jerk of a fiance.

 

[21387]

it was the incapasity benefit office that told me i couldnt get it because i didnt pay enough national insurance contributions between 2003 and 2004 but i was on maternity leave from july 2003 to may 2004 and before july 2003 i was off sick for 8 weeks because i was in hospital because i had a 5cm cyst on my ovary when i was 15 weeks pregnant and when i was on maternity leave from New Look i wasnt entitled to maternity pay so i wasnt getting any income apart from income support so i didnt pay NI and i cant get income support now because my fiance works over 24 hours a week.I feel that i just cant win. I have no friends because i havent been out for over a year (apart from when i was working) because im to scared in case my stomach irrupts which it usually does! Im just so down im stressing about my IBS and my IBS is making my depression worse its a vicous circle.I feel that on this website is the only place i can talk about my feeling but i also feel that i dont have a right to burden you all on this site with the way that im feeling.