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Hello. I'm a 30 year old ... woman? Whatever, life is complicated. I've dealt with gut problems all my life, and every year it got harder and harder to handle as the symptoms became more and more intense. It caused as eating disorder when I was a teenager, where I had terrible nutrition and would fast for inappropriately long periods just so I knew I wouldn't be in pain. I got myself out of that, for a few years until my mid-twenties, until again my symptoms brought me low and I couldn't force myself to eat any more than I could hold my hand onto a hot stovetop. It nearly killed me, and I was hospitalized to recover. Lots and lots of tests to rule everything else out, which is a Hell I know all of you understand.

Anyway, I recovered as much as I was able, moved to New York to get away from triggering memories, and honestly? I developed a cannabis addiction so I could use the munchies to get meals down and bliss through the intense muscle spasms. (They are so violent and I'm so underweight that you can see the trembling through my skin.) Last month, my pain and loss of appetite got to the worst it's been in my life, and after three decades of getting used to being nauseous and constipated, I suddenly had 11 straight days of diarrhea, and it seemed like no matter what I ate to try to endure through it, it made everything worse. I ended up spending 8 days hospitalized again three in the ER and five in a bed under observation. I'm starting the Elimination of low FODMAP now, and it's so difficult to

Doctors are worthless for this. None of them understand the suite of symptoms because they can't find the source of the problems in their cameras and biopsies, and so their professional compassion quickly wears thin. If I can't see some success stories, if I can't commiserate, I will stay panicked inside my head until it kills me. I realized I needed to find a support group or something, and found this website.

It feels like a feedback loop. Stress isn't my only trigger, food is a bigger one, but the pain causes stress causes pain. I'm hoping to find a way to break that stress here. I don't know how much I'll post, but I'll be doing a lot of reading, and maybe if okay, positive thinking, WHEN my symptoms improve and I have any quality of life left, I can help someone else in the same way.

By the way, I quit the jane last month out of fear of Cannabis Hyperemesis Syndrome, and my budget, do at least that problem is handled. But it's not like my sense of hunger is back, so, if anyone has any tips on that front I'd be mighty grateful.
 
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