[WonkyColon]

Anyone else find that IBS really puts a damper on your intimate life? I'm female and married. My hubby's very supportive, but I think he thinks I just use IBS as an excuse to avoid intimacy.

We've only been having couple-time about once a month since I started developing IBS symptoms, and I'm really anxious about all of it. I'm always worried that I'll pass gas during sex or that my tummy-rumblings will be too distracting. When I'm constipated, it hurts really bad to have intercourse. Does that happen to anyone else?And this is probably WAAAAAAY TMI, but there are certain activities that my hubby has been wanting to try that I can't do because I've got awful hemorrhoids. I'm only 23 and my husband is my first and only serious intimate relationship. It's really distressing, because I'll only be young once and I want to be able to enjoy intimacy while I can. I feel totally un-sexy because of my perpetually dysfunctional digestion. There's nothing hot about IBS.

 

[The Everglow]

Hey there Wonkycolon!I'm a male around your age with IBS-A, and I feel your pain. It makes intimacy super embarrassing for me. My gut's going crazy, making weird sounds, pain, cramps or heaven forbid I gotta run to the crapper Intimate situations are when you want to appear, feel and simply come across as your best possible self. IBS does not make this goal easy! Just know that there are people out there who understand what you're going through. I know it's not much consolation, but you're not alone!As for what your hubby wants to "try out" I think I know what you're alluding to. If there ever is an appropriate time or place for those "activities" then great, but if not, I'm sure your husband loves you more than anything and holds your happiness and well being above and beyond his, well, "experimental" desires. SincerelyEverglow

 

[KDlady82]

I'm 28 and on occasion it's hard for me to enjoy intimacy. Recently I was feeling sick during these activities and had to cut it short. I quickly realized that it was gas when we stopped. Sometimes it hurts for him to lean on my stomach too. You are not alone. Foreplay may help you to relax. Also self talk helps me to redirect my thoughts. I try to focus on him and not so much on my fear of my symptoms.

 

[KDlady82]

I know foreplay may not always be a good idea due to gas, but sometimes redirecting thoughts to positive things and doing relaxing activities can help. I hope I helped.

 

[Jessilynn2123]

It does make me not want to be intimate. My colon hurts so bad and I just don't want to make the pain worse by being intimate with my boyfriend. My boyfriend understands that I'm in pain. He said to me that he won't make me do anything intimate if I didn't feel ok to do it. I'm 21 btw and my boyfriend is 22. Me and him have been going out for 5 years now. I love how he's so understanding and patient with my current situation.

 

[rellybelly17]

i think i know where you are getting at lol i have never tried to because i would be worried about pooping on my bf!! so i totally understand how you feel

try going to the bathroom before sex and try a position that doesnt hurt your belly like you on top. hope that helps!

 

[lorabean88]

I am 23 and newly married as well. I was just diagnosed this past monday with IBS but have been suffering with it for the past ten months so for me its sort of a relief to have a name for what is going on. Sex is hard for me as well, the rocking motion of it makes me really nauseous. One thing that I have resorted to is to not use the lower regions of my body for "that" (if ya get what I mean) but that way the hubby still feels loved on. Sure it doesn't scratch MY itch but at least he isn't feeling abandoned!

 

[Didem]

I definitely understand what you're going through. I'm 25 and my boyfriend is extremely understanding about my IBS however,no matter how understanding he is, I still don't feel sexy enough to be intimate with him. Always worried that I'm gonna fart on him or something. The worst part is I feel like I don't deserve him and that I'm a bad girlfriend because I'm always so afraid to be intimate. The only thing we can do is just bite the bullet and do it. After being intimate a couple of times, it will become more and more easier.

 

[loudmouthrjw]

I understand how u feel after a bad case of D I def don't feel sexy but it can really be mind over matter in this case. Yes sometimes it is real pain that might keep u from being intimate but in the case where u are just worried about gas and stressing u might benefit from just getting into it mentally first. I took a sexual psych class and it really helped me to learn that stressing about sex is the last thing that will help. And it cam just make ur IBS worse stressing like that ! If u ever want ur sex life to get better u might just want to find a way to loosen up and go for it !! As to anal experimentation I already went thru explaining to my bf that I would rather not I work in healthcare and so I know that people with digestive issues have less good bacteria which leaves them prone to infections. Not stuff to mess with ! Plus if u have roids could be super painful and harmful !! There are other ways to spice things up !! Ha Not an expert or anything but I hope that helps !!

 

[loudmouthrjw]

I understand how u feel after a bad case of D I def don't feel sexy but it can really be mind over matter in this case. Yes sometimes it is real pain that might keep u from being intimate but in the case where u are just worried about gas and stressing u might benefit from just getting into it mentally first. I took a sexual psych class and it really helped me to learn that stressing about sex is the last thing that will help. And it cam just make ur IBS worse stressing like that ! If u ever want ur sex life to get better u might just want to find a way to loosen up and go for it !! As to anal experimentation I already went thru explaining to my bf that I would rather not I work in healthcare and so I know that people with digestive issues have less good bacteria which leaves them prone to infections. Not stuff to mess with ! Plus if u have roids could be super painful and harmful !! There are other ways to spice things up !! Ha Not an expert or anything but I hope that helps !!

 

[loudmouthrjw]

I understand how u feel after a bad case of D I def don't feel sexy but it can really be mind over matter in this case. Yes sometimes it is real pain that might keep u from being intimate but in the case where u are just worried about gas and stressing u might benefit from just getting into it mentally first. I took a sexual psych class and it really helped me to learn that stressing about sex is the last thing that will help. And it cam just make ur IBS worse stressing like that ! If u ever want ur sex life to get better u might just want to find a way to loosen up and go for it !! As to anal experimentation I already went thru explaining to my bf that I would rather not I work in healthcare and so I know that people with digestive issues have less good bacteria which leaves them prone to infections. Not stuff to mess with ! Plus if u have roids could be super painful and harmful !! There are other ways to spice things up !! Ha Not an expert or anything but I hope that helps !!

 

[loudmouthrjw]

I understand how u feel after a bad case of D I def don't feel sexy but it can really be mind over matter in this case. Yes sometimes it is real pain that might keep u from being intimate but in the case where u are just worried about gas and stressing u might benefit from just getting into it mentally first. I took a sexual psych class and it really helped me to learn that stressing about sex is the last thing that will help. And it cam just make ur IBS worse stressing like that ! If u ever want ur sex life to get better u might just want to find a way to loosen up and go for it !! As to anal experimentation I already went thru explaining to my bf that I would rather not I work in healthcare and so I know that people with digestive issues have less good bacteria which leaves them prone to infections. Not stuff to mess with ! Plus if u have roids could be super painful and harmful !! There are other ways to spice things up !! Ha Not an expert or anything but I hope that helps !!

 

[ChrissieGIRL]

Hi Everyone,I am reading your posts, and am so sorry to read of how IBS is effecting intimacy for you. I have actually completed a thesis on how intimacy is effected by those with IBS, and so I understand the impact it has. Also, while I don't have IBS, having had a few bouts of orthopaedic surgery to fuse my pelvis (childbirth injury which never recovered, even after 7 years), I understand also what being in chronic pain can do to intimacy! If anyone is interested in taking a look at the survey I did (or even in completing it - as data is still being collected!), please see the following link. Given it's sensitive nature, it is only for those over 18.http://opinio.online.swin.edu.au/s?s=8081 I wish you all the best on your journey with IBS, and hope that you continue to find comfort in chatting to each other. I have learnt a lot from your website, and am really encouraged at the good that online support groups can do.: ) Chris

 

[ChrissyB226]

I know no one has replied anymore since July but I thought I would write anyway. I know how you feel. I'm 26 and I'm so afraid that I will pass gas during sex with my husband as well. We've been together 11 years and have been married 3 years and have 4 kids together but it doesn't make it any easier. He says he wouldn't care if it happened but um hello, it isn't happening to him and guys are guys. They pass it all day long if they have to!! But it does make you feel unsexy and dirty and just..ugh. I always have to say no unless I'm feeling at least 50% ok. Sometimes we go 2 months without sex! It's horrible and I don't know what to do anymore.

I feel your pain.

 

[SarahLund]

I think maybe if you avoid anal sex for a while, it may help you be less anxious, seeing as that's where it comes out of. At least us women still have the front part. A good thing me thinks. lol. If he can't be understanding, then maybe tell him it isn't helping. Either he must accept it or bleedin leave. No half-assed messing around