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At last, a place to vent about my predictament. I am not sure if anyone will respond but I am going to tell my story. I am a thirty year old male living in Canada. "I suffer from IBS". I have lost my wife. I have lost close friendships. I have lost mobility. My job has suffered to the point where my income level has decreased and my dreams are fading. I no longer enjoy the simplicities of life since I can no longer enter the 'real' world due to the fear I may have an 'episode' and the bathrooms may be few and far between. It is a constant battle every single day to wake up and face my fears. Simple tasks such as driving long distances, visiting with friends have become next to impossible. Since my divorce, I have not been able to date due to the fear (again) of finding someone to understand my situation and loving me for it. My wife, er, ex-wife could not cope or understand thereby leaving me. We were high school sweethearts and we were on our way to a long happy life together, until the IBS started to conquer me. I am currently taking 'Dicetel' and it is not really 'curing' the anxiety and fear of social activities. I used to be active and loved life, and now I have succumbed to IBS and will never know what it is like to embark on a journey to a foreign land, never know the excitement of a golf round, never experience the love of a woman who will love and understand me...I can no longer eat milk products, eat beef, eat pork, eat chocolate desserts, eat Chinese food, eat Mexican food...the list goes on. So here's to a life of solitude and rice cakes, yum-yum...Thanks for listening (reading) and thanks for the temporary soapbox to ###### and moan!Yours truly,R.
 
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I'm real sorry to hear your sad story. It can be a bit of a bad downward spiral that you need to try to break. Have a go at Hypnosis as it can be good for getting over the psycological barriers you put up for yourself. IBS is not psycosematic but is almost certainly made worse with depression, so anything like that will help. It is helping me. Other thing to try is the caltrate (I've not tried it but there ate alot of links around on the BB)Everyone one the BB knows how **** this IBS can make you feel,it F**ks all of us up in differen ways, just try to look for a bright side, and take care.
 
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hello read your post and very soory about your situation. I was stuck in the house for a year becasue I was afraid of having an accident. now I go out everyday and do the things that I am supposed to do as a mother wife and friend. I use Immodium and have been on Caltrate. These really helped me and I am sure that they will help you. I had real anxieties that would keep me in front of the door just debating if I should even go out to my own garden. once you step out the door and go on with life under the control of the Immodium and you see that you do did not have an accident, the anxieties begin to lessen. Now I still have them very mildly but I am a survivor and you seem to be too. Just look you work and you dealt with the stress of a broken relationship. Please search the bb for immodium and caltrate. they changed my life
 
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Robbie - we understand how you feel!But please - never say never! There are things to be done - that can help you live a normal life again. - you need to start doing lots of research for yourself - docs are really not much help - this place has helped me more than any doctor.Try Hypnotherapy - there is a link on the Hop to - part of this site (products) to Mike's hypnotherapy website - loads of people have tried his tapes - myself included and have found great relief! Especially with coping with the everyday ibs and improving your attitude which has a direct affect on the symptoms! trust me I know!!!Also this caltrate - calcium suppliment has been a godsend to so many d -type people here. And i have found increasing my fibre by taking psyllium husks and friendly bacteria has got me almost back to normal - apart from the odd nightmare attacks - you need to drink LOADS of water though - if you are taking lots of fibre - and you need to start slowly and build it up - otherwise you'll wind up with chronic wind and bloatedness.Good luck - please do try these things and keep coming back - You can beat this thing - and we are here to help you - every step of the way!
 

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Robbie, I feel your pain. My life has also been affected with this terrible condition. Don't let it get the best of you. Keep searching for your cure. This BB is a great place with lots of ideas. Have you tried lotronex? Read the threads on caltrate. Order Mike's tapes. Buy a Van with a porta potty in the back, or stick a porta potty in the back seat of your car. I did this, and now I have a big camper. I can go everywhere with my own bathroom. Buy immodium by the case. Read everything you can on ibs. Try acupuncture, hypnosis, yoga... Take on the responsibility to heal yourself. If your doctor isn't helping, find another. Keep looking until you find one thats willing to work with you. I've had ibs for 20+ years, and I still have a positive attitude. Don't give up!
 
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HiPlease don't give up!There is sooo much useful information here that I am sure you can find help for the IBS.But please don't give up on relationships!!!There are people out here who understand and will be there for you. I know. I thought I would be alone forever too.But I found a man who understands and helps me in so many ways. And I have a couple of close friends who I can hang with and do things with without any problem.It took a long time before I met these people but if you keep the faith I'm sure you will meet some good people too.My prayers are with you.
 

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I know it feels like IBS is defeating you, but maybe with some of the suggestions on this BB you will find the help you deserve. I know what you mean about foods. How I envy people who go out for burgers and French fries, or who can order soup without having to ask what the ingedients are. But when I get down, I think about all the starving people in the world (something most of our mothers probably beat into our heads at some point, LOL). Then I don't mind the endless amounts of bananas, applesauce, and toast that I eat. And as far as relationships go, just try to reverse the situation. Would you ditch a friend if he got IBS? If not, then you have the right to expect the same treatment from that friend. There are good people out there, unfortunately it looks like you might not have met any of them yet.Good luck to you. I hope you find the help you deserve.
 

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You aren't the only contributor from Calgary on these boards. Have you guys thought about a local support group?Bill56 - you've made my laugh for the day.I thought I was the only person who thought about buying a camper so I could always have my bathroom on hand. The portapottie gives a whole new meaning to "bucketseats". Maybe we should invent a carseat with a flip-up seattop and a pumpout on the side.
 

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Robbie - do NOT give up on a normal life, please! Try the Caltrate and the Immodium. Go to a different doctor. Keep coming to this board for advice and support. Take it a day at a time. ###### here about the bad days and let us know about the good days!
 
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I'm sorry for your situation
but, seems to me that a lot of people have posted very similar situations and maybe it's time to make a singles IBS club? It would give you something positive to think about and do
You could start with a poll here and see if there's any interest. I hope it all works out for you
 
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RobbieTo say you are having a tough time would be a gross understatement and I am sorry - Please dont give up - IBS is a strange thing to have - it really can mess with your head and have a bad effect on your life - IBS is very real and is not just in your head - and its made alot worse by stress (you have pleanty) anxiety and depression.I was all 3 (still am sometimes) and could not see the way out - but I'm getting there - I got some professional help and lots of advice from the guys on this board - and belive me there is no person out there that can understand what your going through more than the ones here !!!! have faith in this place and post everytime your down - we will be here !you did not say - but have you seen a Dr and had tests - if not that would be my first bit of advice - my only other advice is to try and off load some of that stress - belive me I know how tough its gonna be - but one step at a time will bring you closer to helping the IBS calm down and help you deal with the IBS better when it does flair up.....try and see a professional therapist - maybe one involved with cognotive therapy - making that step somehow offloads alot.I have gone on too much - take care of yourself - I promise you there is light at the end of this tunnell - you just have to turn the corner to see it !
 
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Robbie-I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. IBS is a real dfficult problem and can mess you up physically and emotionally. BUT, you have to stay tough. Don't let this thing get the best of you. You have to keep trying and keep fighting to find a way to feel healthy, happy, and confident. Even if it is only temporary. There are many suggestions on this board of things you can do to try to help your symptoms. The best advice I can offer is to do one thing at a time- and give it long enough to see if it works for you. The body takes a long time to adjust to anything new and different. Something may help one symptom, but cause another. It really is trila and error.As far as your personal relationships. If your wife would not stand by you while you are having difficulties then I am sorry to say you are better off without her. You need to have a strong support system in your life to see you get through the low times and to help you celebrate the successes. You need to take going out in small little baby steps. You can do and should do it. The more you sit around and think about this- the worse off you will be. It is through knowing there are good times ahead that we can get through the difficult ones. Keep reading and keep posting- knowing we are here for you and support you. Please feel free to e-mail me- as I am on at least once a day and would be happy to be here for you. What kind of IBS do you have? What types of treatments have you tried?? My best to you as you go through this struggle. ------------------Here's to pain free days!SandiIBS/D For 20+ years
 

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Robbie: This is my first post on this BB. I too am from Canada and was very happy to find this site to be able to vent some of the frustration of having IBS. It is nice to be able to talk and share with people who truly understand what it is like to have this problem. It has been very debilitating for me to live like this. The things "normal" people take for granted. It would be wonderful to be able to go out shopping and stop for lunch, it would be great to be able to accompany my daughter on field trips at school or to just be able to go and get my hair cut without worrying I will have an "epsiode" while I am there. There are people out there who are understanding, people that don't have IBS, my fiancee being one of them, so please don't give up on the relationship area of your life. I recently read a post regarding L-Glutamine powder and the fact that it is supposed to help IBS-D. I just bought some today and I am going to give it a try. It has no negative side effects so its worth a try. I have had IBS for 15 years now and have had to change my lifestyle drastically to accomodate my problems. Life does go on. I am truly thankful for this BB and all the insight from people who post things here. You are a great help and inspiration to me and many others. Thank you for being here.
Kasey
 

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Hi Robbie,I was where you are. I've had IBS for 26 years, and only in the last year have I really gained control. I couldn't walk around the block, go on vacations, work out of the house, attend school field trips with my kids classes, so I know what you are talking about. I have had "accidents" and lived through them. I have learned what foods I can and cannot eat, and I'm left with a short list of a few carbs, chicken and fish, and chicken noodle soup. I have a van with a porta-potti, which by the way I've only used once, and that was on a long-distance trip. Just knowing it is there helps me to make it.Like some of the others, Mike's hypnotherapy tapes have done wonders for me. I was doing well just cutting out my trigger foods and adding fiber (Citrucel, but the tapes have given me hope of a more normal life. I don't dare jinx myself and say I'm cured, but I'm 90% better. Sometimes, I surprise myself and just do things on the spur of the moment. I used to worry all the time, now I just go!I hope you will give Mike's tapes a try. If they work for you like they did for many of us, I think it will give you your life back.PS. About your wife, did she skip over the part of the VOWS that said "...for better or worse...in sickness and in health?" Please don't blame yourself for your marriage breaking up, she made a choice to break her marriage vows.Chin up!AZ
 

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Hi Robbie, Everyone here has posted pretty much what I wanted to say, but I figure the more people showing you support the better. I too am recently divorced, the IBS played a major role. And, like many on this BB who are facing life's trials, I have two surgeries ahead of me and two kids to raise. Somedays I am so afraid of leaving the house.... I get attacks when I HAVE to be somewhere. And yes it is dreadful, embarassing to have to cancel out, or make excuses,etc. But since coming to this BB about a month ago, I have RENEWED hope. I started Caltrate, and am doing a little better with it. I ordered the IBS hypnotherapy tapes on the advice that it has helped so many here on the board. I have learned so much more than any MD has given me. Of course, this is not to say, don't see an MD, you must find one you can work with, but there are coping strategies you can do yourself to make it.I still am in depression from IBS, I still cry and I still feel like a housebound recluse. But I am NOT going to let IBS win. I do know how you are feeling. Like life is over for you,etc. MANY people, myself included, feel like that. I fight it with a somewhat OK sense of humor...OK a pretty corny sense of humor...making contact with the nice kind people on this BB, and I volunteer with both adults and teens, and try to make an effort to get out, even if it kills me. Even if to just mail a letter. Now I try not to hide my IBS,,, most people I deal with know if I "poop" (haha) out on them, the reason why.And sometimes, my kids point this out, even though I have had a really BAD episode, if I have to take them somewhere, once I am in the sunshine, after about 15 minutes of saying, Oh God, I feel like c**p, I hope I make it, I usually DO make it. Take tiny steps, and work your way out of it.And please, do come back to this BB as often as you need us. Because we KNOW where you are coming from, and we are all here for each other. (And I am fairly new here)Take care, Robbie. Be well, And know that here, you are among Friends...------------------Marilyn alias "Cookies.."
 

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Robbie.......I'm so sorry you're going through such a rough time....Believe me it does get better......I was 21 and had just moved to Florida with my boyfriend when I got IBS......It was horrible......Thankfully he was understanding - as understanding as anyone can be who does not have this condition......I have had my IBS controlled now for a few years, but ironically enough my husband of one year shows signs of having IBS, although it's not to the point yours is and I haven't convinced him yet to have all the test done......We're expecting a baby in about three weeks and the stress is really getting to him......There are people out there who understand and will stand by you.......There are so many wonderful suggestions on this board from the hypnosis tapes to the Caltrate, both which work for many people.......We're always here to listen and support you and understand what you are going through!
 

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Hi Robbie Welcome aboard!!! I completely understand how you feel. I have had IBS with Constipation for 10 years . I have also gone through depression and feeling giving it all up. But please dont give up hope. You can beat IBS with support from wonderful folks on this BB. I dont have anything more to add as everything seems to be covered however please check out the posts on "IBS and Water" Water may be a factor? Please post from time to time.
 
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