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I don't have a job , I live with my parents , I have no girlfriends , I am turning out to be a failure In life.
I'm in the same boat, but I know one thing. Neither of us are failures. Remember all great people had to go through the roughest times to become greatness. Ghandi starved to bring freedom to India, Dr.King endured harsh brutality to improve civil rights, and Jesus died on a cross to spread the love of God. What do they have in common with us? At one point in time they wanted to give up. Even Jesus ( Yes! The same Jesus who raised the dead and casted out demonic forces) when he asked God to take this cup from him. Just like them we will overcome this because their is a light at the end of tunnel. In truth we are failures when it comes being losers because we are fighting daily to live despite this illness. So in reality we are fighting to win which is what winners do.
 

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I'm in the same boat, but I know one thing. Neither of us are failures. Remember all great people had to go through the roughest times to become greatness. Ghandi starved to bring freedom to India, Dr.King endured harsh brutality to improve civil rights, and Jesus died on a cross to spread the love of God. What do they have in common with us? At one point in time they wanted to give up. Even Jesus ( Yes! The same Jesus who raised the dead and casted out demonic forces) when he asked God to take this cup from him. Just like them we will overcome this because their is a light at the end of tunnel. In truth we are failures when it comes being losers because we are fighting daily to live despite this illness. So in reality we are fighting to win which is what winners do.
Yeah, but at least they had their health. If I get my health back, I can do way more amazing stuff with my life instead of remaining a sideshow.
 

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I've been having similar problems myself - I'm 24-years-old and in my second job after university, working in social media marketing at a marketing agency. I don't mean to brag or anything like that, but I think most of my colleagues consider me to be one of the 'rising stars' of the business - I've certainly been getting a lot more responsibility of late and it looks like my department is going to start growing. Problem is that over the last couple of months, I've had a lot of time off and I've also had to work from home a lot - the people I work with are pretty patient and understanding, but I don't think it's fair on either the company or myself if I keep on letting them down. It doesn't help that we've got a lot of work on at the moment and, in all honesty, I would've needed to bring a couple of hours of work home most evenings just to keep up with things. Now, I'm too ill to do any additional work in the evenings and I've been taking sick time off as well, so a lot of my work just isn't getting done, which could lead to problems with both the clients and with my colleagues. I'm also the only person doing social media, while all of the other departments have large teams, and so there's no-one to take over my workload if I don't get it done. It's a bit of a catch-22, as I'm getting more stressed because the work isn't getting done - that makes my symptoms worse and so less work gets done, and so I get more stressed!
 

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I'm Kimmi. I've suffered with IBS all my life, but I only got diagnosed with it properly this time last year as a result of the impact that the constant pain was having on my life. I'm 19 years old and living in the UK. I suffer from pain almost daily at the moment and I feel like I've missed out on a lot because of it. Last year I ended up taking sick leave for 6 months from my job because of it and then a further 4 months sick leave after having only returned to work for one month and calling in sick 4/5 days per week. I felt like it was completely disabling me so decided to resign from my job. I was absolutely terrified of having to call in sick when I had a flare-up. I'd be trying to catch my breath before finding it in me to be brave enough to actually make the call. There was a period of time where I thought that I was just being a wimp and overreacting to my symptoms (what my family and employer told me and I really believed it), but I would find myself fighting not to double over on the floor. I'd be sweating and it became a habit at work where I'd get some water and go and vomit half-way through the second part of my shift. Around the time of my resignation I really felt like I didn't care about my job. I felt like I didn't care what happened to it because I felt so crap on the inside. I'd stay in bed for days on end just wanting to hide from the world because I was so embarrassed and ashamed of it. My dad wasn't always the most supportive and would be extremely angry if I didn't go to work. Due to the fact that I didn't "look" like I was dying and he doesn't have it himself,he decided that I was skiving work to be lazy and when I wasn't earning anything or enough to pay the rent he charged me, he eventually ended up kicking me out. I ended up moving back in six months later in order to have a second crack at college which I never completed the first time around. I applied for a course that was only 2 days a week and thought it would be fine, but that ended up not being the case when I ended having to call in sick for that too because I'm in pain almost every single morning. In early October I had a day where I was passing quite a lot of blood and that started to make me want to rethink my decision to return to education because this happened the in the evening of and day after I'd tried to brave it at college and force myself to stay despite the pain I was in. My College tutor ended up sending me home a couple of times when I ended up doubled over on the floor and aa a result of poor attendance, the head of the adult learning courses convinced me to defer because her mother had terrible IBS which lead her to believe that I wouldn't be able to pass the year. I decided to get a part-time job because my dad was getting increasingly frustrated about my lack of income. Within the first month of my probation period I called in sick 3 time, and I'm not meant to off of work for more than 3 times in 3 months. I became increasingly anxious about it because I wasn't sure what I'd do if I ended up being sacked from my job. I was scared of being kicked out again, I was scared of how it would make me look and what people would think of me, I was scared of making people angry and everywhere I went I felt like I was just around people who would never be able to understand. Even trying to explain it to people made and still does make me feel like I'm speaking meaningless words to a brick wall. I think many people think I'm overreacting about a stomach ache when it's so so so much more. Bowel issues run in my family. My mum is frequently in and out of hospital with issues, my grandmother has ibs and food intolerancea and my great-grandmother has had bowel cancer twice. Even so, because I don't look or "seem" as unwell as they do, even they don't sympathise with me and I'd have thought that of all people, they would be the first. I'm terrified of my flare-ups. I'm genuinely terrified because of the impact that they have on my life. I feel like I'm going nowhere and feel like I've got nothing to show for myself and have a strong depressing feeling of lacking in achievement. I see people around me that have done so well for themselves and it truly makes me feel inferior. Even though I'm discussing it here and have mostly opened up to my family, I tend to keep the ins and outs of the emotional impact it has on me to myself because I feel utterly ashamed of how I let it affect me mentally. I know I'm not alone, but I feel really alone because of the constant lack of understanding I get when it's really disabling. It's hard to explain to people how I can be in dying agony in the morning, fine in the afternoon and potentially dying again in the evening all in the same day. It's so unpredictable. It got a lot worse recently. I've been paranoid that what I have is more than "just IBS" because I don't see how something regarded as being so "simple" can be so crippling and agonising. Blood tests have shown that I now have anemia and the people around me have started to comment on me saying that I look ill. In some ways I think it's horrendous to admit that I find myself hopeful that I have something other than IBS in hope that I'll be able to find a cure and get back to a normal life. I've tried cutting out various foods, taken various drugs and none of these seem to be working for me. I find myself quite depressed, stressed and anxious a lot of the time because of this. At times I just don't want to leave the house. I want to vanish into a space where nobody will bother me and tell me that I'm wrong and nobody will reject me for being "lesser" than they are because that's how I feel. I've been pushed to the point of lying crying alone on my bathroom floor on the phone to free counselling services because I'm just beside myself. I'm terrified of my health, my education, my employment position, financial position. I worry so much about my future because this condition affects every decision I make every single day. I'm paranoid about who I am because of it and it quite simply owns me and my entire life.
 

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Hi Kimmi -- I COMPLETELY get your frustration and wish others in your life were remotely understanding, but IBS is a very complicated and misunderstood condition, and so much plays into it, including diet, anxiety, stress, lifestyle changes, medications, supplements, other activities. I hate that it affects people so young as well. Mine can "own" me as well, but I refuse to let it dictate the rest of my life...we have to keep fighting despite the pain.

Feel free to become a penpal and message me anytime. I've been where you've been, and probably still are where you are! :)
 

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Hi I am new too I have just been diagnosed with Ibs I did suffer many years ago but for a long time had no symptoms.I think you are doing well with only a few days off,but it is so hard. In January I got gastroenteritis and was off work for two weeks,this was awkward as I had only been employed here since September 2015. I felt unwell ever since but continued to work. Then 3 weeks ago I started with diarrhoea, nausea, pain,headaches, tiredness etc.I have been to the GPS for each week and have been signed off for the 3 weeks ,I am very fed up I am supposed to return to work tomorrow but am having bad symptoms still,my employer was ok but I get the vibe that they are not happy now ! and who can blame them it is a small private firm and I know my absence is causing my colleagues more work,I know I am stressing now and that is not helping, so I understand fully how you are feeling I will have to see what my symptoms are like in the morning, plus I only get a small sum of money when not at work as I said it is a small private firm. My husband is fantastic,but I feel so bad at the moment and just want my life back.keep strong and take each day as it comes it is all I can do at the moment.
 

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hi new to the site. actually injured at work from passing out due to my IBS .sent home for 2 days. missing days . being sent home for not being able to do my job. seriously worried for first time in my life about being fired. thought IBS was a joke and my doctor was a quack when diagnosed. now???? no joke this is ruining my life, And even my family treats me like a hypochondriac. Do you know how embarrassing it is to have people at work be more concerned for you than your own family, that they will drive you to the er and offer to sit with you when your kids and husband don't want to bothered. I've driven myself and even called a taxi when I've been too ill to drive myself. I don't suffer from anxiety but my current situation is certainly stressing me out and making me anxious. I've suffered from depression in past after having kids so I know I'm susceptible to that but I"m taking celexa to treat pmdd, premenstual dysphoric disorder. I get quite hostile without it. and celexa is actually an anti depressant so I should be covered in the mental department. Its the bouts of constipation/diarrhea nausea vommiting and headaches ---an now loss of conciousness, for the third time! I don't know how much longer I can do my job. and I feel like everything is falling apart. I'm in constant physical pain tired all the time. oh I also have sleep apnea and a cpap machine. doesn't help with the loss of pepp in my step. I am going to see about going back to therapy, if nothing else I can complain about my family to some one who's getting paid to keep their mouth shut and listen to me wine.
rolleyes.gif
Its so comforting to know there are other people out there like me, especially those getting the cold shoulders from family and friends. and i hate to say it and, i know deep down i don't mean it but some times you just wish the doctor would come in and say you have chrons or cancer or something someone else would believe is a real disease and that you actually have the right to feel sick instead of always having to explain yourself or feel guilty which only makes it worse
 

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When I was first hit with IBS symptoms/issues I was in a part-time high stress job and the restroom was at the end of the building and I had to go through a maze of customers and co-workers to get to - all while clenching. It was horrendous and embarrassing. Eventually I transferred to another position, more stress but less public interaction so I was able to 'hide' my issues except for long flare-ups or in group settings. The last few years I've had a primo office location - right next to the restrooms (most people would hate the location, I LOVE it). I've had so many issues lately that it's been a blessing. I had multiple, daily flare-ups that couldn't be controlled easily. Now, however, my company is remodeling all the restrooms including the one outside my office. I have to go down 2 flights of stairs to get to it which was causing great anxiety. Knowing about the remodel in advance and worrying about it I talked with my primary care doctor again about all the issues I continue to have so I was sent to a different GI who prescribed Viberzi. So far so good. I have some posts elsewhere on this board about my use of it so far but it's all been good. My symptoms are so far under control and I have no issues making it the restrooms on the other floor.

When the remodel was announced all I could think was "whoever is planning this remodel by closing 2 of the 3 bathrooms has NO IDEA about people with digestive issues". Without taking my concerns to the HR Office no would know what anxiety their plans cause to some people. I haven't went to HR since the meds are working for me so far but IBS, ulcerative colitis, Crohn's should be thought of just as someone with an outward disability is.
 

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The problem is that people view our symptoms as a "joke" or "funny". I mean think of all the movies that show bathroom scenes, flatulence, incontinence, etc. We're living jokes - and I suppose I can't blame people for laughing because it really is pathetic to have to go through life with a digestive system that is garbage. It really makes life altogether less enjoyable if not outright intolerable.
 

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Hi there! My story is quite the same as yours, only I leave the office almost once a week because pain is too severe! And while I am at work, every minute is full of anxiety, because I know it's just a matter of time that symptoms will come out: every day at lunch time cramps and diarrea begin. I'm 23, and I was diagnosed with depression eight years ago. IBS has triggered all my depression symptoms. I don't want a live a life full of pain and nausea everyday. My Doctor says I must stop stress, but actually my stress nowdays is the IBS itself. Every time I go to the public restroom y cry, because I can't have a normal life. And I want to eat and feel good afterwards. I really love to eat, but these last months I ony eat because I must, but pain comes rightaway. I lost all the joy of eating, even healthy food is bad for me, and no food at all also gives me cramps and diarrhea. Does anyone has some advice on how to deal with these feelings? (Sorry for my poor writing, I'm from Colombia).
 

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Hi there! My story is quite the same as yours, only I leave the office almost once a week because pain is too severe! And while I am at work, every minute is full of anxiety, because I know it's just a matter of time that symptoms will come out: every day at lunch time cramps and diarrea begin. I'm 23, and I was diagnosed with depression eight years ago. IBS has triggered all my depression symptoms. I don't want a live a life full of pain and nausea everyday. My Doctor says I must stop stress, but actually my stress nowdays is the IBS itself. Every time I go to the public restroom y cry, because I can't have a normal life. And I want to eat and feel good afterwards. I really love to eat, but these last months I ony eat because I must, but pain comes rightaway. I lost all the joy of eating, even healthy food is bad for me, and no food at all also gives me cramps and diarrhea. Does anyone has some advice on how to deal with these feelings? (Sorry for my poor writing, I'm from Colombia).
Susanna, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I struggle with the same emotions and would give anything to have a normal digestive system. I would recommend trying hypnotherapy - I am a month and a half into the IBS-specific hypnotherapy program created by Michael Mahoney. It's helped me and I'm hopeful I'll be greatly improved by the end of the program. I found out about it on this site. The program is a little expensive if you buy the cd's (I think $100) but they created a phone app that has the entire thing and that's what I bought, which was only $10. The app is called "Sounds Like IBS". I had never tried or considered hypnotherapy and I've had severe IBS for over 20 years but I do find comfort from it. I listen to it every night before bed. Here's a link if you want to read about it. http://www.ibsaudioprogram.com/
 

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oh my goodness, yes. working is quite stressful. and embarrassing... we only get half hour lunches at my new job and its horrible. I barely have time to eat let alone relax for a min or go to the bathroom x| and they are insanely strict about attendance here too.. like you cant just call in sick without serious consequences. I mean, I can get time off but it has to be at least a few hours before my shift to even request it. then of course it takes a while to see if it goes through, so that whole time I'm sitting there stressing. and its a desk job so to make sure everyones not slacking too much theres a log in percentage so if I need too much bathroom time I could go over...we get a certain amount allotted for breaks but I don't even get any actual break time usually, you know? its just spent in the bathroom : ( and then all this just causes more stress you know? and its like no one understands either... I am working on getting a doctors note of some kind to them but I didn't end up making it to my doctors appointment..*more stress* ~sigh~ work is stressfull, stressed cause I got to work... its nice to have somewhere to go to talk about all this. I am DEATHLY embarrassed about all of it... x (
 

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I'm with you guys on this. I've lost a job over ibs absences when it first started for me in the early 2000s. I've since learned to handle the condition better, but it's been a slow process and still to this day being at work stresses me out. I'm usually the only person at work (I manage a convenience store) and if there's customers in the store I can't just run off to the bathroom. It's a struggle every day, but on slow days I can breathe easier knowing I can squeeze in a bathroom break if necessary. Ugh. I just wanna feel normal once in a while...
 
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