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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My life at age 26 sucks and is not worth living, and it is ALL because of IBS.Perfect example is this past week.Usually I have my strict diet, exercise routine which even then IBS still sucks.However this week I meet up with a buddy for a change out of town.Went to the restaraunt, couldn't find anything to eat. Finally did...but when the server brought it to the table it had butter in it...so they had to bring me a new dish.Didn't matter...after spending 20+ bucks for dinner AND causing a scene my gut was a mess.Then went to have a few drinks with my buddy.I never drink, which means I am a hermit because if you can't drink then that eliminates 100% of socializing.Now my gut is a complete mess and this just verifies WHY at 26 I have no friends.It is because of IBS...I can't do anything.I can't go out to eat without causing a scene to make sure the food is safe, and even then it still gives me problems.I end up wasting 20 bucks and looking like a douche.I can't drink which is what young adults (and all grown ups) social scene revolves around.I end up being made fun of for having a fat beer gut...even though I exercise 6 hours a week. My body never shows how fit I am because my IBS symptoms distort it due to bloating.People think I am a lazy fatass with no motivation.I really wish I had cancer...that way my medical condition would be taken seriously and one way or another it would be resolved.Growing up I was a skinny kid who trouble making friends...why did God have to make it 100X worse by now giving me this chronic uncurable condition cursing me forever with a beer gut and being a hermit?Why can't GI doctors who are supposed to be 'experts' on the GI gut understand and solve?If I had cancer at least people would be sympathetic and doctors might help and if not, I'd be out of my suffering.I am convinced the biggest curse you can do to a person is not kill them but instead give them a chronic non-life threatening condition, this way they have to live in misery everyday for a long while.
 

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I think you'll find everything you hate about IBS will be going on in spades if, heaven forbid, you get cancer.Friends and family will avoid you even if you think they are taking you more seriously they will not be more sympathetic or there for you. Cancer scares people and they avoid people who have it more often than they become the loving supportive people who will be there for you. If they won't be your friend because you can't drink a lot with them, they won't be your friend while you are in the hospital puking your guts out hooked up to all kinds of tubes.While you see the "glad to be alive" part of surviving cancer, most people don't tell you about the long term, uncurable, often difficult to treat side effects that bother them every day of their life. The glad to be alive usually means they don't complain about them that much, but the treatment is designed to nearly kill you and that will cause damage that may not ever heal in a way that makes you perfect and feeling good every day.I know you believe that the only way to be social for you and all other humans on the planet is to drink, and drink heavily, but really I've got plenty of friends in AA who know they will never, ever, under any circumstances have a drink ever in their life because they cannot ever drink again and you know what, they are generally the most social people I know. The doctors won't understand your cancer, if you are lucky they will find a treatment that will work, but for to many people all they do is make you a lot sicker as you wait to die and not much more than that. Now the chance you will get better (rather than just live longer in misery) makes it worth the treatment, but don't think that path is really so much better than what you are on. Everything that doesn't work about the medical system for IBS really is something you find in all areas of medicine. All areas of medicine have good doctors and bad doctors and there are tons of people who don't get better on any available treatment.Have you been checked for depression or social anxiety issues?
 

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volatile writes - "I really wish I had cancer..."Take my word for it - you don't. You think you've got problems now.Kathleen, your reply was so spot on it makes me wonder if you have had cancer treatment, you are so correct in your comments.
 

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Fortunately, I've been lucky so far.
There is a little bit of cancer in the family, but we tend to be more likely to drop dead of heart disease first.Doing some research into the stuff that causes cancer means I've read enough about the treatments (as some of them also can cause other cancers later on) to know how bad they are. I also have friends the do a lot of work with cancer survivors and doing the rehab it takes to get the body working well again once people get the all clear and can start the recovery process.
 

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Fortunately, I've been lucky so far.
There is a little bit of cancer in the family, but we tend to be more likely to drop dead of heart disease first.Doing some research into the stuff that causes cancer means I've read enough about the treatments (as some of them also can cause other cancers later on) to know how bad they are. I also have friends the do a lot of work with cancer survivors and doing the rehab it takes to get the body working well again once people get the all clear and can start the recovery process.
Well you certainly have done your research well
Did you ever come across anything that will help with peripheral neuropathy caused by chemo drugs? Specifically Taxol and Carboplatin? This is the trial of my life, and I can't seem to find any relief from it. (Sorry to be off-topic here). I don't like to moan and I'm grateful to be alive, but this is such a nuisance.xx
 

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As you can tell today, I am "stuck" by my bathroom and ON MY favorite forum. LOLV - I feel your anger and can relate! Kathleen, your answer is spot on. Cancer is horrible. IBS is bad but not like cancer. No, we cannot go out like others do and when you are young (I am not), the social aspect of life around food and drinking would be very hard to handle. You have to ask yourself: Are you just angry and need to vent to a counselor? Are you mad because of the loss of some friends and social functions you once enjoyed? Could this stage in your illness be grief? There are people here on these boards who have found love and social functions with people who DO understand. Grieve, my friend and then move on. I am not religious but I do believe when Life closes a door a window opens somewhere although it might be on the 17th floor. (LOL) Our illness is limiting but it also means we are FORCED to find other ways to enjoy life. For me, this has resulted in going to school online, to socializing online but with people all over the world. I am straight forward with friends and employers. If they cannot handle it, so be it. I have taken up writing and finished my first book. Would I rather be out cycling, hiking, rock climbing, partying and eating pizza? You bet! But I work hard to look at my life NOT in all the things I can no longer do, but rejoice in the things that I can do! (However, some days I fail at this task and am very angry. This is especially so if I happen upon a doctor or employer/boss that takes my condition flippantly!) Peace my fellow IBS sufferer. . .
 

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Well you certainly have done your research well
Did you ever come across anything that will help with peripheral neuropathy caused by chemo drugs? Specifically Taxol and Carboplatin? This is the trial of my life, and I can't seem to find any relief from it. (Sorry to be off-topic here). I don't like to moan and I'm grateful to be alive, but this is such a nuisance.xx
I know Cymbalta (that sometimes helps with IBS pain and can lessen diarrhea as it tends to be a bit on the constipating side of things) I think was approved for diabetes induced peripheral neuropathy as well as depression.http://www.cancer.org/Treatment/TreatmentsandSideEffects/PhysicalSideEffects/ChemotherapyEffects/PeripheralNeuropathy/peripheral-neuropathy-caused-by-chemotherapy-treating-c-i-p-n mentions low dose antidepressants so that may be an option, but not sure if it has been tested for the chemotherapy induced and it may not also work for that. This link lists some other treatments as well.Unfortunately some people don't tolerate antidepressants well, but that is the only thing off the top of my head I can come up with.Some of the mind-body stuff like distraction (getting the mind focused on a visualization when trying to go to sleep and pain tends to be worse, sometimes you can find CD's that have soothing music with the visualization instructions on them) can sometimes help a fair amount as well as other relaxation/meditation sorts of things.
 

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I know Cymbalta (that sometimes helps with IBS pain and can lessen diarrhea as it tends to be a bit on the constipating side of things) I think was approved for diabetes induced peripheral neuropathy as well as depression.http://www.cancer.or...reating-c-i-p-n mentions low dose antidepressants so that may be an option, but not sure if it has been tested for the chemotherapy induced and it may not also work for that. This link lists some other treatments as well.Unfortunately some people don't tolerate antidepressants well, but that is the only thing off the top of my head I can come up with.Some of the mind-body stuff like distraction (getting the mind focused on a visualization when trying to go to sleep and pain tends to be worse, sometimes you can find CD's that have soothing music with the visualization instructions on them) can sometimes help a fair amount as well as other relaxation/meditation sorts of things.
Thanks, love x
 

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i know ibs is an unpleasant sod of an illness, but the way i see it, god graced me with IBS, when he could have burdened me with something much worse like cancer or something degenerative. when you look at it like that we have it relatively easy. cheersIan
 

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have you tried a diet like this that i posted in this link? scroll down till you see my posthttp://www.ibsgroup.org/forums/index.php?showtopic=120705and well i now hear 75% types of cancers are curable by just geting lots of Vitamin D so i guess i could see you wanting one of them cancers instead of ibs-d
but really with 75% types of cancer curable by just geting sunlight it makes you think what if you got sunlight and a good diet it could do wonders i found a diet that works GREAT for my ibs-d its in that link but honestly if you want the short version only eat eggs,unsalted butter,meat,animal organs, and some broccoli is ok to eat every other day and cut all the stems off the brocoli you just want to eat the top flower parts oh and some feta cheese is good too make sure its hard feta cheese. soft cheese makes me sicknow also you will want a unsatlted butter thats either from grass fed cows and or from butter that has lactic cultures i hope you can find one and as for animal organs don't eat factory raised cow liver it sucks try and go for grass fed natural but the avrage factory turkey liver and heart is okalso i would avoid organic because they can label beef organic when its still grain fed which defeats the purpose =/ so make sure its always grass fed you want to be geting that vitamin K2-MK4 from the grass fed beef fat and organs which is only in 2 places naturally raised animals and a human mothers breast milk which is why so many people are lacking this great vitamin. it is not in grain fed cows cows were never ment to eat grains it gives them gut infections which is why they are always fed antibiotics its terriblealso if your shadow is longer than you than your not geting vitamin D but if its shorter than you than you are so basically go outside around noon time and don't put on sun screen it blocks your vitamin D suncreen is #### just go out of the sun before you get a sun burnand ya i know butter? fatty meat? broccoli!? i too used to not beable to eat a single bite of broccoli or fatty meat but really its a whole new world when you cut the carbohydrates out and you can see by them foods all very low in carbohydrates but if you cheat and say eat a slice of bread then for sure broccoli is gonna cause problemsalso avoid vegetable oils if you cook a steak in a vegetable oil like olive oil it will hurt your gut but if you cook it in butter it won't and the reason for that is cause vegetable oils can be inflammatory. and with this diet you should notice you will get basically zero gas well at first 80% less gas but about 2 or 4 months down the road 99% less gas and this along with no more problems from ibs-d makes life alot better you can work at the gym and exercise or even run hard and do what ever with out ever worrying about gas ever again hope this helps
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I know you believe that the only way to be social for you and all other humans on the planet is to drink, and drink heavily, but really I've got plenty of friends in AA who know they will never, ever, under any circumstances have a drink ever in their life because they cannot ever drink again and you know what, they are generally the most social people I know. Have you been checked for depression or social anxiety issues?
What the hell would depression or social issues have anything to do?Ever think I am depressed and socially isolated BECAUSE of IBS?YOU try being 26 with IBS and see how you'd rather be dead.Because of IBS, I am a hermit.I can't go out to the beach and let loose.I can't go out for food with friends or to the bar at night.I love to bodybuild, but it gets VERY frustrating that I still look like #### BECAUSE of IBS.Because of IBS I can't diet properly to get stronger in the gym.Because of IBS, everything I eat it seems makes things worse, so because of IBS instead of going out with friends to eat and drink, I end up spending 5 minutes instructing the waiter what needs to be done, spending 20 bucks on food, and still feeling a negative reaction after.So because of IBS, instead of having fun going to the beach with friends, out to the bar for food afterwards and a drink, I just avoid it because IBS saps all the fun out.Is it fair that when I take off my shirt, despite 6 hours in the gym, I look very fat and out of shape through NO fault of my own?Is it fair that I spend so much time and energy on food prepartion, exercise, and have NOTHING to show for it?Any you insult ME by telling me I have depression and socializing issues?Tell me, how are you supposed to socialize, to relate to people, when as a 26 year old 99% OF socialization involves having a drink in some way or another?How are you supposed to relax, have fun, and partake if you have to be a spectator?IBS has made it so I can't have fun in life, and comments like this really are insulting and belitting.You forgot what it was like to be 26 and have IBS.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
i know ibs is an unpleasant sod of an illness, but the way i see it, god graced me with IBS, when he could have burdened me with something much worse like cancer or something degenerative. when you look at it like that we have it relatively easy. cheersIan
Keep telling yourself that.Sooner or later you will crack.I spend 6 hours a week working out and have NOTHING to show for it because of IBS.I can't socialize because what fun/how are you supposed to relate to people when you can't drink?What else is there to do on Saturday night?Go to the library?I have it shitty and I am sick of people not taking it seriously and offering suggestions that do NOTHING to solve it.I have busted my ass for 7 years, and am sick of these results.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I know Cymbalta (that sometimes helps with IBS pain and can lessen diarrhea as it tends to be a bit on the constipating side of things) I think was approved for diabetes induced peripheral neuropathy as well as depression.http://www.cancer.org/Treatment/TreatmentsandSideEffects/PhysicalSideEffects/ChemotherapyEffects/PeripheralNeuropathy/peripheral-neuropathy-caused-by-chemotherapy-treating-c-i-p-n mentions low dose antidepressants so that may be an option, but not sure if it has been tested for the chemotherapy induced and it may not also work for that. This link lists some other treatments as well.Unfortunately some people don't tolerate antidepressants well, but that is the only thing off the top of my head I can come up with.Some of the mind-body stuff like distraction (getting the mind focused on a visualization when trying to go to sleep and pain tends to be worse, sometimes you can find CD's that have soothing music with the visualization instructions on them) can sometimes help a fair amount as well as other relaxation/meditation sorts of things.
I've already taken many drugs for anxiety issues...and none EVER helped with IBS.Besides...I find it VERY insulting that you think this is the problem.Do you think it's fair that person X can go to the beach, take off their shirt, flex their muscles, and have a beer...while I spend 6 hours a week in the gym and still have a scrawny body with a beer gut? Do you think it's fair I can't drink yet still suffer...do you think it's fair instead of relaxing, having a beer, and some quick dinner, I have to cook special food...and I STILL suffer?Why the $$$$$$ should I need an anti-depressant?Solve the IBS, solve my problem.
 

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I've already taken many drugs for anxiety issues...and none EVER helped with IBS.Besides...I find it VERY insulting that you think this is the problem.Do you think it's fair that person X can go to the beach, take off their shirt, flex their muscles, and have a beer...while I spend 6 hours a week in the gym and still have a scrawny body with a beer gut? Do you think it's fair I can't drink yet still suffer...do you think it's fair instead of relaxing, having a beer, and some quick dinner, I have to cook special food...and I STILL suffer?Why the $$$$$$ should I need an anti-depressant?Solve the IBS, solve my problem.
What are you going on at Kathleen for? She's not talking to you, she's talking to me. If you read her post carefully you will see that she's referring to my request for help with my chemotherapy induced peripheral neuropathy. Unless you've had ovarian cancer it's nothing to do with you.
 

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I've had IBS for a few years now, and there were times when I've become as frustrated as you and lost all hope. But it never helps. All you can do is keep trying to find ways to get better, to improve your diet etc. If you don't try, certainly you will never get better. I've tried and tried and will continue trying, and my symptoms have died down considerably since the first day I awoke with IBS. And I know there is a chance I will never be cured. I will still look for a way.
 

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Ziggy: I am going to agree on a lot of what you said. However, I don't agree that ALL beef labeled organic is bad or misleading. Usually, it also says "Grass Fed/grain free/hormone and antibiotic free" stamp at least at Trader Joe's, Whole Foods and some independent stores - there are also farmers that are very careful and GREEN. "Natural" labels at the grocery store are all garbage. It means nothing and tastes like cardboard. (Nice note on the values of grass fed meat products!!!!) Few people get enough Vit D, oddly enough. There is an accurate blood test for this as opposed to relying on the sun. You need to also know your kidney and liver functions before starting such a vit regimen. (Very important to not take the wopper Vit D randomly as the doses needed if you fall below the 20 mark ARE HUGE! - I know!) Organic Olive does NOT fall into the "bad" oil catagory and carries with it many studied health benefits. It is NOT a vegetable oil. Canola oil is poison. Recommended animal butter is only good if it is hormone antibiotic free/organic/grass fed and the person does not also suffer from high cholesterol. If they go that route, be sure to get the UNSALTED as sodium is always an issue in Western diets and in packaged butter. MOST grains TODAY are poison. Period. This includes Soy (might be the worst offender). I think it is the genetically modified component in grains in the U.S and U.K. If you start researching or read Jeffrey Smith's Seeds of Deception, you will be absolutely shocked. In the U.S. and parts of the U.K,, our diets are so full of processed, toxic and GMO foods it is truly horrible. No wonder no one can figure out their triggers. One thing I would add, anyone lucky enough to have access to the five page stool print out from either the lab in NC or TX here in the U.S. will find some great info regarding their gut flora. It took five consecutive stool tests performed at home over the course of a week for me to find out I produce NO bidiobacterium. This strain is responsible for most of our gut immunity and explains a lot of my problems. Now getting it to grow back is going to prove far more difficult. . .
 

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I've already taken many drugs for anxiety issues...and none EVER helped with IBS.Besides...I find it VERY insulting that you think this is the problem.Do you think it's fair that person X can go to the beach, take off their shirt, flex their muscles, and have a beer...while I spend 6 hours a week in the gym and still have a scrawny body with a beer gut? Do you think it's fair I can't drink yet still suffer...do you think it's fair instead of relaxing, having a beer, and some quick dinner, I have to cook special food...and I STILL suffer?Why the $$$$$$ should I need an anti-depressant?Solve the IBS, solve my problem.
Hi Volatile,I understand why you are angry. I have also had diarrhea through all of my 20's and everyday I realise what I have missed which does make me very angry. I am now 31 and all of my 20's were lost to this. I've been unable to have relationships, had to lose my dream of going to university, had to take dead end jobs just to pay the bills, hurt my family and friends and now on top of all that I really struggle - still - to go out. I'm always terrified. I've lost myself because of permanently having diarrhea and the worry that comes with that. I am also a recluse and my tv is my best friend and only escape. I am managing to get out a bit more but my extrovert fun loving personality has been altered forever. I know how awful it is to spend the best years of your life with this,however i could never get to a gym 6 days a week so if you can you must see that as a positive aspect, I struggle going anywhere where people are now. Lately things have started to improve for me and I have gained weight as well. What I look like dosen't matter to me anymore, I am just pleased for things to be improving. I personally don't worry about how fat my stomach looks today as I won't care about that ever again. I will just be grateful if I can start to have more of a life. Many a time I have wished for it all to just end as it is mortifying having to deal with this when your friends are having fun, but there is a chance that things might get better for us. I guess this has given me a better way of looking at things, weight, spots etc.. don't matter to me like they once did. If I am fat and spotty but don't have diarrhea everyday to deal with, I see myself as very lucky. I'm sorry that you're having to deal with all this like I am. I have had the last decade destroyed by diarrhea, my dreams shattered and I know things that no-one my age should have to deal with. I know how angry you are because I feel the same and I also have a huge regret that I've lost my 20's but it has made me a more compassionate, understanding person which I will have with me forever and maybe one day I can use my experiences to help other people going through the same thing. Claire
 

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I used to try and feed myself that BS for years...and finally I've snapped. I've had it...I can't keep feeding myself this nonsense.IBS sucks...it destroys your ability to have fun, to be relaxed, and to let loose.It destroys any pride you have in your physical appearance.No longer can you take your shirt off and suntun at the beach without feeling so unfit and out-of shape.No longer can you look forward to a weekend of partying with friends.I'm ***** sick and tired of this. I have put 7 years worth of effort into this and for what?It has isolated me from friends, it has sabatoged my efforts to get my body fit, and you want me to tell myself to be happy?You keep doing that and sooner or later you will snap.How dilusional must we be?I already have a therapist and that hasn't helped.NOTHING HELPS.No matter how hard I try, it is like God decided to make my life as miserable as possible.Is it fair that other people get to go out, drink, and can still flex their muscles at the beach...while I spend 6 hours a week in the gym, avoid drinking, and have to buy expensive, special food that can't be microwaved AND STILL suffer?Do that and sacrifice your 20s...and tell me why I should sing with happiness.
I see you have been here since 05, reading and trying to find help. Please believe me when I say I DO share your anger and despair. I gave up and wanted to die often. The antidepressants are NOT for your MIND!!! I cannot emphasize that enough. No one here is saying you are "depressed". I agree with the OF COURSE I AM, I CANNOT LEAVE THE HOUSE! I know that one all too well. I had to take a drug called Zyprexa. It is in a different class. All the SSRI's made me worse or did nothing at all. Zyprexa did help me to gain some weight, have an appetite and stopped the diarrhea. Reason being, the gut is loaded with receptors that respond to these types of medications. I also took an AB at the same time.There was one thread/post a while back about mast cell overgrowth in the small bowel as being found in most to nearly all IBS D sufferers. There is liquid medication to treat this condition and stop the diarrhea and often itchy skin that goes with it. Do not give up hope. Find a better doctor in GI or gut immunity. If you have not tried cycling through one of the "cycline" antibiotics, that might help you. Bacterial overgrowth is way, way more common than what was thought even last year. I read most of the journal articles. Your inability to maintain muscle tone sounds like me and I HAVE antibiotic responsive diarrhea. However, it takes whopping doses to stop the D. It finally stopped (daily) after six months of therapy and rest where I did indeed take the bodybuilding products but made sure they had NO whey or milk. The medium chain triglycerides liquid, liquid vit and minerals and I used an Arbonne "weight loss" shake to GAIN weight with Organic Soy Milk instead of Milk. It worked. I am not saying you have NOT tried everything under the sun as it looks like you have. Our disease is so damn tricky you have to be a real label reading chemist and food nutritionist just to figure out WHAT to eat. I have a husband who married me inspite of this disesse. We laugh about the gas. It is a joke with my family. I personally don't think it all too funny but there is nothing I can do about my bathroom time or the accidents. Your TRUE friends should understand this. This year, after two years trapped in my home, I was able to go back to work and even go kayaking and for short bicycle rides (two hours). I can drive a car again. Meetings and air travel are still not likely but I have hope that perhaps something will work. I DO change doctors and am now going to check out the big brains at a teaching hospital. I also go to a very good Natropathic Doctor to check my live blood for toxins and bacteria that do not seem to show up on standard lab tests done at the hospital or clinic. If I SEE a lot of bacteria, I know it is time for a kill off with my handy supply of ABs. Aftward, I go back to the probotics and a good diet. I have discovered I can drink a tad of clear gin and tonic water with lime and not get diarrhea. I don't know if that might work for you. One last thing (while I ramble), cell and tissue turnover in the body is about a six to eight week cycle. Meaning you need to be very methodical about any changes and be patient. Do not add too many things at once and don't cheat when you decide to try something. An example would be the elimination of all dairy (casin, cassinate, whey, milk protein, chocolate, milk, cheese, yogurt, cool whip, packaged goods and candy bars including most bodybulding drinks) to see if dairy is a problem for you. Taking those lactaid pills will not help someone who cannot breakdown the dairy protein molecule since the pills are for dairy sugar. I cannot have dairy. It does make me gasy and sick and seems to have no reasom to it. Now I am doing the elimination of all genetically modified foods. This is more challenging because it includes soy, wheat, grains, meat. I am a label reader extraordinairre! I have gotten good results and (used to be a bodybuilder) am finally seeing some muscle tone and definition return and I am over fifty. The creepy cellulite is gone and the abdominal bloating. I am getting back my "six-pack"! V- don't give up. You are far too young to throw in the towel. If you bring up Zyprexa (it is not commonly used for our problem) to your doc, know that even the smallest dose can make anyone very, very tired. You will not feel much like doing anything but it might make your "gut receptors forget". I had to cut their smallest dose in quarters. But it did completely slow down my gut and STOP the diarrhea. . . getting off of it after six months would be another thread entirely! (LOL) . . . I hate this disease too, very, very much. If you take PPis or ant-acids, STOP immediately! New clinical evidence clearly shows they make diarrhea from SIBO much worse. Mine lasted for three weeks after my last dose of Zegrid. I cannot even pop a Tums without yellow explosive diarrhea for three or four days. . . Good luck, my fellow sufferer. I hope you find something soon that works for you.
 

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I've already taken many drugs for anxiety issues...and none EVER helped with IBS.Besides...I find it VERY insulting that you think this is the problem.Do you think it's fair that person X can go to the beach, take off their shirt, flex their muscles, and have a beer...while I spend 6 hours a week in the gym and still have a scrawny body with a beer gut? Do you think it's fair I can't drink yet still suffer...do you think it's fair instead of relaxing, having a beer, and some quick dinner, I have to cook special food...and I STILL suffer?Why the $$$$$$ should I need an anti-depressant?Solve the IBS, solve my problem.
The Cymbalta response was to someone else on this thread that asked a specific question about a specific thing and I gave a specific answer to that person. It wasn't about you, really I got asked a question and I answered, sorry I was a bad wrong and evil person for doing that for someone else on your topic.It isn't fair that Brad Pitt isn't coming to my house every night for a booty call. :)Do you think it is fair my stomach throws alcohol back up if I have more than one drink in an evening? If I'm really lucky and they aren't too strong I might be able to have two drinks while at a party, but I've ended up in the bathroom ralphing up my guts over two drinks more often than I care to count. I've been that way my whole life and somehow I managed to find ways to have fun and relax. But of course I'm lying about that, I suppose. no one can have fun or be with another person unless they are drunk. Can't happen, no human is capable, OK I should lay off the sarcasm. :)All this anger and angst and grief will make any illness worse, and sometimes you can't break the cycle without working on all parts of it. It isn't fair, but then I have never found anything in life that was. Sorry. I have no way to make anything fair for anyone and all those people who you think have it so easy will sooner or later have something very unfair happen to them. It is just the way life goes.Since all I do is make you more upset I think I'll leave you alone from now on. I can't see anyway to help and no point in making things worse and worse for you. That wouldn't be fair.
 
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