im on my fifth year of having ibs. since the summer it has gotten alot better and havent really had any episodes of bad d. ive been going to a counselor and a year ago was diagnosed as being depressed so the put me on medication. After a while of being on the meds i began feeling so much better not to mention i dropped a jerk of a boyfriend. Unfortunately my d has started back up again and i am terrified. I really dont believe i can live like that again. Ive noticed that i have started to get jealous of peopole again. Im mad that i can just pick my stuff up and go out on the drop of a dime like all my fiends can. Im jeolous that i cant go out to eat and not have to worry about getting sick. Im jealous that i cant travel and go on vacation with all my friends and have the time of my life. im jealous that i have to worry about being sick every second of the day nomatter where i am. I hate all of it. and i want to be able to do all the things everyone else does. it depresses me so much that my medication isnt even helping. I just got a new boyfriend that is wonderful to me but i dont want him to have to suffer with me. I want to be able to go out with him and spends the weekends at his place. it makes me so mad at myself. i hate myself for beng like this. and sometimes i think ishould break up with him so that he wont have to deal with it all. im just so scared to be sick again...i am so scared. i am a college student and these are suppose to be the best years of my life. but its just working out that way for me and i hate it.