Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Digestive Health Support Forum banner
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
G

·
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
im on my fifth year of having ibs. since the summer it has gotten alot better and havent really had any episodes of bad d. ive been going to a counselor and a year ago was diagnosed as being depressed so the put me on medication. After a while of being on the meds i began feeling so much better not to mention i dropped a jerk of a boyfriend. Unfortunately my d has started back up again and i am terrified. I really dont believe i can live like that again. Ive noticed that i have started to get jealous of peopole again. Im mad that i can just pick my stuff up and go out on the drop of a dime like all my fiends can. Im jeolous that i cant go out to eat and not have to worry about getting sick. Im jealous that i cant travel and go on vacation with all my friends and have the time of my life. im jealous that i have to worry about being sick every second of the day nomatter where i am. I hate all of it. and i want to be able to do all the things everyone else does. it depresses me so much that my medication isnt even helping. I just got a new boyfriend that is wonderful to me but i dont want him to have to suffer with me. I want to be able to go out with him and spends the weekends at his place. it makes me so mad at myself. i hate myself for beng like this. and sometimes i think ishould break up with him so that he wont have to deal with it all. im just so scared to be sick again...i am so scared. i am a college student and these are suppose to be the best years of my life. but its just working out that way for me and i hate it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,174 Posts
Sorry you're feeling down. Good job dumping the creepy boyfriend.
I've had IBS-D for 27 years. I tried everything, but actually found success with Mike's audioprogram. more commonly known as Mike's tapes. Check out the site at www.ibsaudioprogram.com There is a forum on this BB that deals with CBT, hypnotherapy, and anxiety. Have a look there, and read about our experiences. I have a detailed description of my life before I did hypnotherapy. I now have normal BM's, usually once a day, the urgency is gone, and so is the panic. http://www.ibsgroup.org/ubb/Forum11/HTML/000017.html It could make your dreams come true.AZ------------------If you don't have a dream, how are you gonna have a dream come true?Nellie Forbush's song in South Pacific[This message has been edited by AZmom1 (edited 03-14-2001).]
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,631 Posts
Anger is certainly an emotion I'm familiar with as I look back over the eight years (this very month) I've suffered with IBS. (Stick with me here, I think my story might actually have a point--I think...)Mine started when I was in graduate school. I had big dreams of being a professor somewhere. Instead of pushing on for the Ph.D., I stopped short with the M.A. Did that happen because of the IBS? At the time, I thought it had a great deal to do with it, and it made me very angry. Later, I got even more angry with doctors because of their apparent inability to help me. After two years of busting my ass trying to get a straight answer (and hopefully a treatment that works), my anger turned to tears. They were tears for all the time I wasted complaining about IBS and striving for a cure that doesn't yet exist. I realized at that momment that I had to enjoy what I could of life DESPITE IBS however I could. Shortly there after, I laughed and let go of my anger. That's not to say that I don't get a little steamed when it keeps me from work or something. Believe me, I DO!!! But I remind myself how short life is and how you have to make the best of every minute.Two things have happened since I've adopted my attitude of accepting IBS for what is and making the best of life anyway:1. I bounce back from the flare-ups faster.2. I've found that I can do more than I thought possible even with IBS.One person with diabetes (an as yet uncurable disease that is controlled with lifestyle changes and/or meds): your chronic illness is like a shadow partner in life...he/she is always there...you have to develop a relationship with that partner where you accept them and deal with them and make the best of them. You might even find that as much as you dislike this partner, they might open your eyes to things you wouldn't have figured-out otherwise, and therefore you must respect them.For example, after a few years had gone by, I realized that IBS really didn't have much to do with me bailing-out of grad school at all. I didn't want to be there as badly as I thought in the first place. This partner of IBS just opened my eyes to see that fact. So in a twisted way, I respect what my IBS partner did for me...otherwise, I'd probably be having trouble finding work like some of my friends who DID finish the Ph.D. program!It might help to find others like yourself who have IBS on your campus. Since IBS typically starts in the late teens and early twenties, it is a good bet that there are dozens and dozens on a typical campus. I started a little support group that ran for 6 weeks on my campus and although only a few of the 20+ who said they'd come actually did show, I think we all benefited from it.My last piece of advice is to check out some of the ways of improving your symptoms we list here. My two favorites to tell everyone about is Eater's Digest tea and the book called: IBS Relief: A doctor, dietician , and a psychologist provide a team approach to managing the irritable bowel.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
538 Posts
Hi Dreams. It is good to vent, to cry, to get angry, to feel sorry for yourself. But it is also good to see the things that are good in your life. Now make a list of the things that are good in your life. I have had a lot of boyfriends in my life. All of them have never cared what kind of medical problems I have had. I presently have a boyfriend who doesn't care that I have IBS-D. He doesn't care that I could go blind from my left eye. I am having surgery to save my eye sight. I have had lot's of life experiences that have been serious but I always bounce back because I try to stay positive. Even with all my problems I believe God takes care of all of us. God Bless You.------------------
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
18 Posts
I feel your pain. I've had IBS for almost 10 years and I'm not even 23 yet. As a recent college grad, I know exactly how it feels, not being able to "fully" enjoy the college experience. I also went through a point in my life when I was angry, depressed, and just plain feeling sorry for myself because of the IBS. The biggest improvement in my IBS symptoms came when I changed my attitude about IBS. So what if I can't eat pizza at 3 am? By putting my needs first and taking care of myself, I was actually able to spend time with people and not just the toilet. It's funny you should mention jealousy. All of my friends are now extremely jealous of me for not gaining the "freshman 15" and plenty of other pounds during college!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
65 Posts
We all hate this illness. We all rant and rave, often stay home and suffer, miss out on things. . .then we have a remission if we're lucky and move on! Sometimes it is a sheer act of will, but you can live with this monster.I often think "Why THIS illness? Bowel problems are just so humiliating and gross. Why not migraines, or ulcers, or anything but this?" These are also debilitating illnesses that I have had in the past. They are just much more socially acceptable and don't smell! I have an opportunity to go to Italy in November and tour Tuscany. Problem: long hours on buses and a shortage of toilets. I don't know what to do.Just know that you are not alone. If you speak up about this illness, you will be amazed at how many of your very own friends will exclaim, "Me too! I have it too!" Once you have another pooper pal you don't worry so much about going out in public.Good luck! And stay posted!
 
G

·
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
thanks to everyone for writing and caring. I agree that i need to stay positive but sometimes its real hard. and like you said...why couldnt i get a different illness. i realize now that i have been feeling sorry for myself every time things start to get worse. so now i am going to try and keep a good mind set and be positive. I really want to get through this. Thanks everyone for helping out...and keep going with the replies because they really help.THANKS!!!
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top