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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I hope no one is gonna be offended by this post.I'm just so ****ing angry i have to spit it out!!I wish people would understand that my life is over. I will never be able to do things like before. Everybody thinks it's all in my head.They say you'll get over it.... NO maybe not!!maybe i will stay that way for the rest of my life. If that's how it is going to be then i don't want to live.I know that maybe i will find some relief BUT i will never be cured.I will never be the same.I will allways be scared of food..I hate partys, there everyone is eating, and they ask why aren't you eating??I hate christmas.. all that food...I hate summer... then it's to hot to wear baggy clothes, and my stomach looks awful..i'm 19 and i'm supposed to be on that age, when you do all the fun stuff.. AND I CAN'T..i'm missing everything that's funit would be so much different if i was 40 or 50 years old... right now i really don't want to live.
 

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What exactly is the fun you want to do? There's more than just parties out there. For me, at 27, I've never been a party person, I find them boring and annoying. But, I enjoy bowling, boating, ice hockey, and tons of other stuff that I'm learning how to do with my IBS. It's all up to you to find things that make your life meaningful that you can do. Your life is not over. There are a lot of people on these message boards that have the courage to get up and out and do stuff, you just need to find the same stuff inside you. If someone asks you why you're not eating, say "I'm not hungry" or "I just ate" that's all they need to know. It's up to you whether or not you want to be happy. I know I have my moments where I'd like to die, but in the end, I've got to keep going, there's too much that I need to do to end it now. It's the same for you. A friend once told me, "change, adapt, and over come" it's true.
 

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Yup. Old (61) but happy. I wasn't always that way. You really have to take some responsibility for your own health if you are going to lick this. (Sorry. That is just the way it is.) I went from the depths of despair to pretty darned good simply by finding supplements that would treat my many conditions.I am not sure what your symptoms are; but if it is D, there are a number of different supplements that may help. If you are C, certainly magnesium may help, along with fiber. And, of course, there are the hypnotherapy tapes which have helped so many.If you want to return to good health, try products that are designed for wellness, rather than sickness. I know it is hard, but relief will be around some corner, you just have to keep a positive attitude and an oopen mind to these treatments.Mark
 

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I'm generally a happy person (I have my moments).Part of it is what you decide will be the focus of your life. If all you do is look at what you are missing you will be miserable most of the time.You can decide to focus on what is OK, what blessings you do have and that can make a huge difference. It sounds trite, but some people find keeping a gratitude journal and writing down 5 things you feel grateful for can make a huge difference.K.
 

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Day - it can be terribly frustrating, we know.What are your symptoms? Maybe some of us can offer suggestions for some of them. Do you have the leaky gas also?For me, LG is the most troubling symptom. I don't think twice now about diahrea at bad times, I have learned to deal with that, its the LG that is stopping me from having a "normal" life.
 

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Day, others have said it, and it is evident from your posts . . . you're probably depressed. See a doctor.Yes, I am a happy person. I love life, my kids, my husband and my studies. Everyone has bad days though, I don't like the way I feel and in the middle of the night when I'm in pain - I feel like you do; hopeless, sorry for myself and ready to give up. But, I get up the next day, force myself to smile and realize about half way through the day that I'm not faking my smile any more.If you focus on only the rotten stuff, it's all you will see. Unfortunately, for people who are suffering from depression our brains make it very difficult to think of anything other than sad, depressing and ugly thoughts. Still, I'm a huge advocate of a positive mental attitude. I've overcome an awful lot of obstacles in my life . . . mainly through the use of a positive attitude and sheer will power.Hang in there, and really, you need to see a doctor about your depression.
 

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Day,I hope you figure out something to help with your symptoms. When your young, and this stuff is just starting its really hard to accept not being able to do normal things. Eventually you just have to accept it, and stop expecting it to go away because it likley won't. Once you reach that state (which my boyfriend - now husband - gave me a kick in the ass to get to when I was in my early 20s and thought that not being able to drink beer anymore seemed tragic) then you will start to relax a bit more and have an easier time of things and find more things that work to reduce your symtoms. There's a bunch of tricks to not eating out - although I suspect my co-workers nowdays must think I'm anorexic for all the group free lunches I pass on. Just say you already ate, or are not hungry, and once your further along the road the road you may even feel comfortable telling some people that you have a sensitive stomache and prefer to eat food you have prepared yourself. Even though I say you have to accept the way it is, you still have to keep that the glimmer of hope though that one day you'll figure out how to fix it.One last recommendation, have you tried peppermint tablets to reduce bloating? These have helped a few people, including myself and my mom. Good luck, and hang in there. Linda
 

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I know how depressing IBS can make a person, living with it for at least 18 years myself. I know the feelings you are having, again I've had those same feelings before. You have to choose to keep on fighting if you want to get the upper hand and gain control of your IBS. Think Positive, stay steadfast, don't let it win!!!The first thing I will suggest is find a new doctor. One that you are completely confident in. If you live near a big city, go to a university hospital as they have the latest in technology and IMO are the best around. Whatever he/she tells you to do, just do it and stick to it. I finally made the decision to switch docs after 18 years, and also decided that whatever it took, I was going to beat this IBS ####. But anyway, you have to believe in your doctor to follow his advice.What tests have you had? What big city do you live near? What meds or supps are you currently taking and what have you already tried? Dust off your shoes and start looking for the best doctor you can find and believe in, and start fighting back. It is not the end of the world for you. Good luck and let us know what you find please
Brett
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
i have C and cramps, pain and bloating...i have tried:acidophilusaloe veramagnesiumLibrax MebeverinSilicolDigestive enzymeFennel teaPepperment teaGreen teamedications for anxietyHeathers dietstop eating milkproductsstop eating yeast sugar and wheat (did work ones but doesn't work anymore)stop eating fruitsstop drinking sodasthe last doctor i went to did not do anything for me...(he was a specialist)i don't want to take drugs because of the side effects...so i don't think a doctor can do anything for me.
 

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Day, Try to be patient. Sometimes it can take a while for things to work, especially with C. Do lots of research. Ask questions at health food stores. Try chammomile tea. The doctor who diagnosed me was a specialist. If he had his way I would get nothing but bread, water, and konsyl. I have found my own way through trial and error. You will learn to deal with IBS. Good luck!Lizzy
 

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Hey, Day. I can see you have tried a bunch of things and are still feeling miserable. I have those moments too. I don't want to be limited from doing what 'I do'--my career, my hobbies--not just eating!So I sympathize, extremely. The first thing I want to say is, Brett is right: even a specialist in this is not necessarily the answer. I was *going* to a specialist; he has been dragging his heels for weeks on tests I wanted ordered. I found a new PCP, who is part of an "integrative and alternative" medicine center, affiliated with a university hospital [for anyone near Columbus, OH his name is Dr. Glen Aukerman], and *bingo,* he right away ordered all the tests the other guy had drug his feet on or pooh-poohed--some of which were sensible rule-out [like lactose intolerance, just to rule it out, and SIBO--small intestinal bacterial overgrowth, just to rule it out.]. He *listened,* and he paid attention to my quality of life, and he took action! Another person on this bboard mentioned their pcp was more helpful than their /GI guy. I know--oh, HOW i know, given my *last* 2 pcps--that finding a good doc is a pain in the patooie. But SO worth it!And, there are still things you haven't tried--with good clinical trials on them--that might help. I don't know how good Align probiotic, Activia yogurt, or the hypnosis tapes are for C. But there are people you can ask!I've found slippery elm to work better than *any*thing when i have C [I have started alternating, phooey]; that and lots of water. I don't know if acupuncture addresses C; it seems to help me [I have about a good 4 days after a treatment, and hey, that's worth it!]Being limited when you know what you *could* do, used to do, worse than stinks. I know it. But there are lots of folks here who could help you get through it. And still resources. And there still could be good moments and good days. One key phrase is 'wait 2 weeks.' But I *do* understand the vent. You want to get your butt scared off...go read some of the lists about gastroparesis. Wow. I read a bit about that and I am so happy I have just IBS!!
 

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Day,I have my moments of feeling that there's no point. I've been living with IBS for about 16 years now. Believe me, even some of us 40 year olds still want to live a full life, but I understand how hard it is to have IBS as a young person. Different things are important at different ages and going out with friends and having a good time at parties etc is really important to someone your age. At 40 and settled with a partner and two children, my partying days aren't exactly over but I'm happy with leading a quieter life. I really struggle with the fact that I can't do things like "normal" people and that IBS and thoughts of IBS rule everything in my life. Despite all that though the good stuff still outweighs the bad. Sometimes I also get really angry at everything and everyone and it just seems so unfair but since I discovered this group and the BBs it's given me an outlet and a way to talk about my IBS with people who understand.Take careNicki
 

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I think its great to say what you really feel. Many times in my 20 years battle with IBS-d I've wished I weren't around anymore. I 've had D so bad sometimes that my rear has hurt something horrible and burned and spasmed that I thought I coulnd't go on. I've got to take Questran, immodium and watch what I eat and even then I get terrible D still. Only having a few pain meds around saves me on the real horrible days. And drs are so reluctant to give them out. I say " let how you really feel out and maybe it will help" I'm so sick of living in a world where we always watch what we say to the point where we aren't really even living a true life.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
let how you really feel out and maybe it will help" I'm so sick of living in a world where we always watch what we say to the point where we aren't really even living a true life.Twocups i couldn't agree more!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

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day, I know it's hard but try to stay positive. I'm 23, had IBS since I was 10, it's got a whole lot worse when I hit 20. Never been in a full on relationship with anyone due to it, so am a little angry myself. But I try to think positive - I'm sure I won't die alone, I would like a family one day. Take little steps at first, go to one party see what happens by taking the advice of others above.
 

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I can certainly sympathize with a young person. I'm 59 and didn't get this until I was 57 and I am miserable. I was a nurse and had to stop working because of the bad abdominal pain. I used to enjoy going out for dinner, going out for lunch with friends, traveling, hiking,etc. I've been in such horrible pain due to the constipation. I have a dsymotility problem and it seems that I canb't get all the stool out and laxatives and enemas give me more pain, but sometimes am forced to use them to clean myself out. But, the next day I feel the same as if I never went to the bathroom. The worst part is that very often I get really bad abdominal pain and spasms after a bowel movement. I think all the stool never comes out and along with trapped gas, I get bad abdominal pain which gets worse at the end of the day. There are days I can't leave the house. People stop calling after awhile because they don't know what to say. I miss the freah air and my hiking, I miss traveling, and I rally miss eating. But, Its the bad pain that really gets me down. It seems to have gotten worse. I have lost a lot of weight and am struggling to try to keep some weight on. I've been told I am not a good candidate for the big colectomy and am scared to death of some of the problems people have had afterwards. I was really looking forward to this part of my life. Retirement after raising a family and working 35 years as a nurse. I am angry and depressed. Antidepressants have done nothing and they do have a very common side effect of constipation and a lot of the SSRI's are notorious for G.I. upset. Before if I didn't eat, I didn't have as much pain, but now it doesn't seem to make a difference. I feel like I don't want to live like this for who knows how many more years, but I have a family, so I have to force myself to go on. I really do feel for someone who is young, but if you have to keep doctor shopping. then do so until you find one that can help you.
 

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Day, I've had IBS my whole life and I'm 43. Yes, I am happy. Happiness is a state of mind, not a state of physical being. It doesn't mean that it not difficult sometimes. Happiness is a decision that I take everyday!I am ready to be happy! With or without IBS. I am more than a body. I am a being! When I get up in the morning and run to the loo, I decide, make a conscious decision, that I will be happy this day. It works for me. It changes a mind-set of negativity. I choose to be happy, to live, to dream...You don't really want to die, you just want to stop the suffering. Please take a moment to see where this is all coming from.When you say:
quote:i don't want to take drugs because of the side effects...so i don't think a doctor can do anything for me.
Are the side-effects of the drugs not better than what you are going through with the IBS?Are you ready to take medication, in order to be happy. It sounds like you are suffering of depression. There is medication that can help! There is nothing wrong with taking meds.You will find a lot of support here. From wonderful people. We are all there for you! YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE!What is a true life anyway! I am here, I live, and breathe. I love and laugh. That is a truth. I cry too. That is a truth.I am happy. That is my truth.It's also what I wish for you!Prayers and hugs!!!
 

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Find something you enjoy, even if it's something as simple as knitting or gardening. I'm finally fairly happy with what I'm doing for a job. Yes, IBS makes some days at work unbearable, especially since I eat out 3 times a day, and I get strong abdominal pain, but, I have to get out and do my job so someone else can regain their life. Maybe you need to look into the same type of thing? Maybe a good volunteer job would help? You can give up, but if you do, you'll always wonder what could have been. Don't wonder, get up and do. Get out and move. The more you sit, the more depressed you become. Engage yourself in something.Right now, we've got storms moving through and it is heck on my body. The constant change of temperature and air pressure is agony, but I can't let it beat me. I will survive. You will to. Don't let it beat you all the time. Try to win some the little battles like getting out of the house.
 

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Day,I can understand where you're coming from. I"m 22 and the worst I've felt was the past few years. I really hated missing out on the parties and it made me really depressed. I have since found many things that I enjoy to do at home. If you're more comfortable being at home invite people over to your house to party. That's what my boyfriend and I have to do. I won't leave the house, so the party comes to us. "My" bathroom is upstairs and no one goes up there so it's private and I'm comfortable. It is really hard to not get down about the whole IBS thing. I hate the fact that I'm just going to have to deal with this my whole life. I don't have any advice on your C since I'm the exact opposite
Just know that there are many of us who can relate and we're here for you to vent to or anything else you may need.
 
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