[vickieibsd]

Just when you think things can not possibly get worse.....is that Murphy's Law. Anyway, my 103 year old grandmother has been dying since Wed. and it has been extremely hard on my 78 year old Dad. Problem is they are all in NC and I am in Ohio....my IBS has made it impossible to travel right now and I feel a huge amount of guilt and frustration. To make things worse still my youngest daughter told me last night that at this point it is all mental and until I face the reality that I am doing this to myself it will not get better. She told me everything I am doing with yoga,therapist and listening to mikes audio 100 is all bull.... and I am wasting money instead of just getting on with life. If anyone is a mom, I don't have to tell you how much that devastated me. My husband told me this weekend I am chasing snake oil and the dr that I work for....well his wife had started nit picking every little thing at work. The walls are definately crashing down on me and I honestly do not think I can do this much longer....so I pray.......

 

[BQ]

Vickie I am sorry you are going through this. I am sure their words hurt you. It seems to me that they don't quite have the facts right.Have you ever had your family read the Brochure we have for the friends & loved ones of folks with IBS? Because it seems they really just do not know the very basics of IBS. This brochure may help them.Here.. just click here and print it off:http://www.ibsgroup.org/brochures/Aboutibs.pdfI think we can all understand that when we are flaring everything just seems worse or harder. I know you said you had tried everything for a year in an earlier post. But what I have learned is it can take considerable time, patience and endurance to find what helps manage symptoms for each of us. Trial & error of course comes into play. And simply put.. this isn't easy. Try not to minimize your efforts or abilities. Most folks find that a few different treatment methods working in concert is what helps them best. So you just may not have hit the right combo for you yet. For example a combo for someone might be using Calcium w/imodium with relaxation techniques etc... You see what I mean. But by all means... don't give up. Thoughts are powerful things as you will see in this great article by Dr Bolen, which you may find really helpful:http://www.ibsgroup.org/node/515So keep the good thoughts going.

 

[Autosaver]

I can't believe your daughter said that to you.She probably doesn't understand what you are going through. Sadly, many people don't understand.

 

[puzzel]

sometimes its ok to be selfish, vickieibsd.if you cant fly, then by all means dont. if you would have some other debilitating illness it would probably be easier for your family to understand. for some reason people tend to have a difficult time understanding and believing the extent ibs can restrict a person. and maybe there is another way you can show your support to your dad. showing your daughter and husband the brochure is a great idea. i gave it to a few people and it really helped them understand me. to make them more susceptible you could preface it with something like "it looks like youve been trying to find out about my illnessand i appreciate that. but it seems like some of the sources you got your information from misguided you. would you like to see a brochure written to help the family and friends of suffers understand this disease?"

 

[TanaG]

I know exactly how you feel...I've had almost the same stuff from my own family: I'm nuts, this is not really happening, I am obsessed, imagining things....and so on.It is hard to deal with such an annoying disease when the ones close to you are not helping at all. I know even now, that my IBS is in remission, that still none of them believe it ever happened. I agree the brochure is a very good idea so I'd give it a try. I don't have any very good advices I am afraid...I myself never managed to make them understand or make my boyfriend for example understand that is not that I don't love him but is hard to be intimate when you have gas rumbling in your stomach and about to come out and "fill" the room in a couple of seconds. But what I know for sure is that being stressed and upset is really not helping and the happier you will be and try not to pay attention to all the malicious comments the better you'll feel.

 

[vickieibsd]

Thank you all very much for the kind words and support. My grandmother passed yesterday afternoon. I wish with all my heart I could go be with my 78 year old Dad at this time. He was so sweet and supportive on the phone about me not being able to travel right now. I knew my Dad was my hero for some reason

 

[BQ]

Sincere condolences Vickie... Good thoughts rolling out to you & your Dad and family.