[chall]

First i'll give you a little background... about 4 years ago when my husband and i started dating I took a trip with a bunch of my friends to watch a concert. To make a long story short one of the males that was on the trip decided that he wanted a little more than what I was willing to give him no sense in going into to details on that... I never really told anyone what happened because I felt guilty etc... also one of his friends had threatend harm on my husband bf at the time so i did'nt even tell him what happened till about a year ago.... Anywaysit turns out that this guy is friends with one of the guys that my husband works for...I ended up having to tell my husband what really happend because I was scared that this guy would say something... or even yet lie and tell my husband that I wanted what happened to happen... anyways i told him he was mad but promised that he would never raise and issue with this guy. So here comes the question, my husband fixes some of his friends comps everyonec in awhile... so about 2 days ago he told me that on thursday he needed to fix one of the guys he works for friends comp. I thought nothing of it untill I asked him who's comp he was fixing and he would'nt give me a solid answer... anyways on wendsday night the guy called my house and I reconginized his name as the guy that had taken advantage of me 4 years ago. (call display is a great resource). I was waiting for my husband to truthfully tell me that that was where he was but he still has'nt... i feel lied to and almost betrayed by him...and scared because now this guy has my phone number... i'm not sure if this is a battle worth fighting what do i do?

 

[charmedimsure]

I think you need to have a nice chat with your husband and ask him what he is up to. Of course, he probably doesn't want you to know, but having that jerk's name come up on your ID is freaking scary. Let us know what happens. Good luck!

 

[mamasmurf]

I think your husband is mad at you for not telling him when this first happened, even though you were just starting to date. Now, he wants to get the whole story from the jerk, if and when this jerk calls back, tell him that "YOU DO NOT EVER WANT HIM HIM TO CALL YOUR HOUSE AGAIN, IF HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND, CATCH HIM SOME WHERE ELSE", and have a very serious talk with your husband about how you feel and how hurt and scard you are that this jerk has your # now!! I know you feel guilty, but that was a long time ago, and he took advantage of you and God only knows how many other women, STOP FEELING GUILTY, AND GET MAD! I'm so Blessed to have my husband, he's taught me 2 very important things, and that is: NEVER LET ANYONE HURT YOU IN YOUR HOME!Your home is your safe place and you should ALWAYS feel safe there!The second is, NO MATTER WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN MY PAST, I AM A GOOD AND LOVABLE PERSON, AND I DESERVE TO BE TREATED WITH LOVE AND RESPECT! But, let me tell you this, all men are crazy, your husband may have given that jerk his # just to get your reaction, he probably didn't even think about how scard it would make you, he probably really just wanted to get your reation to this jerk, you know "get even with you for not telling him" and maybe find out what the jerk has to say too. Men are all crazy, they don't know what they're doing most of the time, and this is one of those times. Talk to your husband, tell him how you feel! God Bless and watch over you,i hope this helped a little.

 

[Julie55]

Hi, I have no idea what your husband was thinking in giving this guy your phone number, or what he plans to do now that he has worked at his house. Maybe it was his boss who gave out your number. But whatever the reason is, do not just let it go. It is bothering you so you should talk to your husband. Don't go into the conversation mad, just ask what is going on and tell him about the phone call you got. Communication is the most important thing in a marriage and there should be no need to play games with each other. Especially when it is about a serious issue. Talk to your husband, be honest with him and hopefully you will get honest responses. Good Luck.