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Hi there

I am 52 year old unlucky male. Unlucky because I have severe health anxiety for 20 years, including cancer fobia, ALS phobia, Covid phobia, you name it. If I have some problem, I immediately think it is cancer. I don't go to the doctors much, because I have such fear of hearing the diagnose, of the painful procedures etc...

My story so far: I have had problems with stomach, colon and anus for last 20 years, but not for a few years now. Last problems were in 2010, when I went to the proctoscopy (found only a small hemorrhoid that should not make problems) and colonoscopy where they found a small 0.5 cm polyp that was not dangerous (multiplastic one).

Fast forward to around 14 days back... I have had a terrible virus ilness of unknown origin, I was in bed for a week and feeling ill another week. Maybe it was corona, never tested and survived. It was like a bad flu. I had some loose stools when I was sick and my rectum was burning a little when having bowel movement, but I didn't pay attention to it, I had flu, was normal somehow.

One day I've had a little diarrhea in a bowel movement and in the same movement I had constipation after that diarrhea with quite hard stool and I got sharp pain at that point. I immediately got scared because constipation preceding diarrhea is quite normal if you ate something bad, but vice versa... Diarrhea can not precede constipation in the same movement if there is no tumor in the colon that blocks stool and the liquid goes by. I have never had diarrhea + constipation in the same movement (in that order). I got really scared that this is cancer and with bowel movement I had torn it...

My problem is that I am color blind for red, at least partly. I have hard time seeing blood, but when I had some hemorrhoid problems or such sharp paint in the past and got a little red on the tissue, I saw it as red. This time I didn't have anything on the paper resembling that.

Since that day my misery started... I've had rectal pain in the anus since then for 14 days. It is a little better and a little worse... When I go to make a bowel movement, sometimes I feel a little pain but not much (I try hard to have loose stools not hard ones, with psylium)... But after some time, anal paint starts and doesn't leave me...

It is worse sitting down than lying and walking. It is throbbing pain, I would not say it is so painful, but it is gnawing. The location is such that I can not find myself to not think about it. Even my testicle is a little sore sometimes because of this rectal pain.

I have tried hemorrhoid cream Preparation H and nothing is better. I have for the last 7 days try to put a little olive oil in the anus. It seems not to help...

First day or two when I put finger in my anus I palpated like a bunch of grape like small soft balls. I thought that were internal hemorrhoids that is why I thought this was my problem. Next day they dissapeared and I can not feel anything inside anus any more, just a tense sphincter and the walls are painful to touch somehow. Touching prostate is also a little painful.

Can this be anything else than cancer? It is not improving for 14 days :-( Is there any other option, like fissure (that is how I found your site)? But fissure makes pain immediately after BM, not whole day? Usually mornings are best and evenings are worst. I do not have much pain in the night at least not so severe that would wake me up.

Pain is as I said, gnawing, like a root canal inflammation, I would just tear my rectum out sometimes (a metaphore!).

Now I have not been to the doctor yet this time around, first they are busy with covid and one has to wait, and secondly... I was reading my notes from 2010... I had exactly the same symptoms, just they didn't start after diarrhea/constipation episode... I had this problems for weeks and months then. At that time I went to proctoscopy, it was VERY VERY painfull for me, couldn't stand on my feet after because I felt like he broke my bladder :-( He found nothing wrong! A little visible hemorrhoid not even inflamed. And it was at the same time that I have such similar pain as I do now... I went to colonoscopy, it was even more dreadful experience, I seem to be extra sensitive of air dilatation. Cleaning was no problem but the procedure was so painful that I thought he had punctured my colon :-( They found a little polyp that was the benign type. No chron, no ulcerative colitis, nothing...

The problem is 10 years passed by, I am now at "cancer age". I hate this somatoform disorder, because I can not really tell if this is stage IV cancer (early cancer does not have pain) or is is nothing or something in between...

Can fissure or internal hemorrhoid make such symptoms, gnawing pain most of the day for days? And nothing helps :-(

Can it be psychosomatic? Part of my IBS/stomach dyspepsia (yes, I was on gastroscopy also in 2005), part of my everyday problems nobody can find out why they are. I mean, I can not believe that such pain could not be cancer, but I have neck pain for 1 year and they found only minor problems, not explaining the pain, I've had globus in my throat for one year etc... I can just go from one doctor to the other because I always have some health problems. I am sick of going to the doctors and painful examination, up to now they never were able to help me. So I willprobably die because I will miss cancer now or some later day. Because I can not distinguish the symptoms of serious ilness and of the somatoform disorder. And I can not go to the doctors every week for some new (or old that came back) problem.

Anyway, thank you for listening me, sorry my English, I am from Europe, English is not my language.

Anybody have any idea what this wierd pain could be? I don't see every tiny drop of blood somewhere in the stool, but as far as I know and see, there isn't any blood in my stool or paper or rectum when I put creme inside.

Yours Desperate

Jerry
 

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I get a terrible pain too sometimes, really low down in my rectum. It is really awful when it happens. I had had it for many years even before IBS symptoms! I used to get it while walking my dog! But, I found out it is "proctalgia fugax".
It lasts maximum about an hour, but usually between 10 minutes and 20. Then it is completely gone until the next time which could be days/ weeks or even months in between attacks.. It comes any time day or night and can even wake me from sleep.
I wonder if it's caused by a muscle spasm in the pelvic floor muscles.
It is so severe, that at first I wondered if I had cancer!! Only the many years gone by with no other cancer red flags have taught me it isn't.

But if your pain goes on all day long, then that doesn't sound like proctalgia fugax. .However, it could maybe still be something going on in pelvic floor muscles or nerves attached?

Anyway, don't assume what I said has any bearing on what you have. Common sense dictates that if someone suffers real pain all day long, it's best to get this checked with a doctor.

I don't think even a somatiform disorder could cause bad physical pain that goes on all day? Could it? Maybe I underestimate somatiform disorders. But still....get checked out, no matter how many times you may have had to go to the doctor and feel awkward about going again.

Bowel cancer will show some red flags in stool tests and probably blood tests too. The FIT (fecal immunological test) is highly sensitive to hidden blood. That is a marker. That could be repeated every 6 months or yearly for peace of mind.
 
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