Just Married-IBS putting stress on Marriage

918 Views 5 Replies 5 Participants Last post by wigglesmom, Jun 18, 2003

LILLI

Discussion Starter · Jun 2, 2003

I just recently got married 6 months ago. I've had IBS D+C for the past couple of years. I've actually always had a senitive stomach so I pretty much know what to stay away from. In the past couple of months I've experienced the worst IBS symptoms I've ever had before. I thought I could always somewhat control it, but I was wrong.I don't know who to talk to because no one seems to understand. I have been to the doctors and have done all the usual tests and nothing!! Not surprised I went to visit a homeopath, and it isn't too bad, I am taking supplements that have helped me out, probiotics, and veg-digestive enzyems. Well here goes the embarrasing part, but sometimes I still get these uncontrollable symptoms that are unbearable. I am supposed to be spending time with my husband but instead I am in the washroom most of the time, from the minute I get home to the minute I go to sleep, and sometimes all night. I get so bloated and the gas is uncontrollable. I get up several times during dinner to pass gas in the washroom because it smells so bad it would spoil our dinner. Then after dinner it is even worse, I become so bloated that I can't breath sometimes, and the gas is so offensive that I have to ask my husband to sleep in the spare room. He has been so understanding and patient with me, but how much longer can I keep kicking him out of our bedroom??I never get to sit down and talk to him, I can never spend any time with him because I'm in the washroom all the time. What can I do to make this go away?? Any suggestions for quick relief??I've tried gas-x and all that it doesn't work.This is all I think about night and day, and have become so depressed about this, I don't feel attractive anymore because I look and feel 6 months pregnant all the time. Everyone keeps asking me if I'm pregnant already!! I feel like crying when they say that. I'm supossed to be enjoying our quality time together instead I am all alone locked up in my room because I smell so offensive that I could clear the town out!! I pray every night that tomorrow I will feel good so thatI can sit down and watch some T.V. with him at least. I know that starting a new life, and living in a new home can be quite stressful but my IBS is stressing me out even more!! Is it ever going to get better??? Help, Sorry I wrote so much, thanks for listening.

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lily2000

· #2 · Jun 3, 2003

Hi, Lilly. I do know bit of what you're talking about because IBS symptoms and depression and anxiety about my IBS symptoms took a bit of a toll on myself and on my marriage a few years ago. For me, the main symptoms were chronic abdominal pain and soreness, constipation and colon spasms that would seem to come out of nowhere. I would spend a lot of time worrying if I would have a painful spasm whenever we left the house to do some fun activity, thus I would not have fun and bring my husband down in the process. Many nights I would not let him near me in bed because my tummy was sore and tender and painful. Eventually, I even quit my job becuase I was sick so often. All of that led me to think that I was a terrible wife, depriving my husband of happiness and becoming a financial strain on him. The thing is, you have to be honest with yourself about how your health (physical and mental) is affecting your quality of life. Then you have to be able to openly express to your husband your concerns and your fears about your health and how it is affecting you and your marriage. Hopefully, he will be as understanding and patient and my husband was and still is.That's the hard part. After that, find yourself a good gastroenterologist who can help you treat your IBS symptoms more succesfully. Also, if you think it will help you, start talking to a psychologist about your issues with your health and your self-esteem and the depression you are experiencing with this whole situation. I did both of these things, and my health and my feelings about my life and my marriage have greatly improved.I hope things work out for you, and I wish you all the best.

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carmen

· #3 · Jun 3, 2003

LILLI the probiotics you are taking, do they contain fos in them.

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Qat

· #4 · Jun 11, 2003

Why do you ask about the FOS? Is it detrimental?or helpful? I would think helpful but PLMK thanks I have just started to read this board again, and have found many educated and knowledgeable people( as before

), and alot of new information. I am encouraged. I beleive I will go back to the doctor again, because many here have reported progress. The last time I went all I got was grief (many years ago).Lilli- good luck to you and hopefully together on this board we will find out how to be better.

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LILLI

Discussion Starter · #5 · Jun 17, 2003

Thank you for all for your great advice. Your encouragement has helped me a lot. We'll have to cross our fingers and hope we will all feel better soon!! It is very comforting to know there is support form everyone.

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wigglesmom

· #6 · Jun 18, 2003

Fennel eeds have been a great help to me for gas and bloating, they are the only thing that has ever worked. I just chew up the seeds, and the gas goes away pretty quickly. I recommend them! What I do is buy them in an indian grocery store mixed with candy coated fennel seeds so that they taste better. If you don't have a store ike this nearby, you can just buy the fennel seeds in ay food store in the spice section. Hope this helps. I have similar problems with my boyfriend and sometimes dread him coming over to my house becaue of it.

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