[Melissa3]

With IBS how do you have lots of sex without abdominal pain?? (from the female perspective)

 

[SLBEL3]

OK, First and formost, this is not as you indicated "a life and death situation". You need to be careful what you put your topics as. Second, this type of question belongs in the adult forum. Unfortunately I don't know how to get into it since it's hidden and not linked through the first pages.Hopefully someone else will be able to tell you how to get there.But in answer to your question, being the female I find it less painful to be ontop of hubby sitting up, that way it's more pleasureable because of deeper penetration and he's not laying on my stomach at all. Or we both sit up with my legs over his around his waist and he lifts me up and down. Other than that, we have to wait until I feel ok enough to do it. which can be close to 2 months inbetween "relations". Hope you get the answers you need.

 

[Melissa3]

Well I was actually looking for meds that would be strong enough to handle that.It's a medical question, bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, IBS follows you everywhere. It's life and death for me, it's probably the biggest stress in life since I'm engaged and think of my fiance before myself.

 

[kac123]

If you are having lots of pain during sex, you may not have only IBS and its worth talking to a gyn about. Endometriosis is a disease that has a lot of the same symptoms as IBS, and the main difference is with endo you have significant pain with sex -- may want to post your question on the women's issues forum as well as you may get more answers. Good luck-Kac

 

[Marriah]

All, I second kac's comment about endometriosis. Its what I thought of when I read your post.hugs, marriah

 

[Guest]

I didn't know we had an adult forum again? I thought Jeff closed it a long time ago?Ditto on the endo.

 

[Guest]

i'm sorry about your situation and don't mean to be rude but...1. how can this be life or death? do you have any idea how much people are suffering on this board? some people go weeks without even having a bowel movement.it just always strikes me as strange when people put exaggerated statements in their subject-line. its like haven't you read others posts and seen what is really an emergency????2. and if you really think this is life or death it just seems kind of sad and uncreative to die over not being able to have vaginal sex. there's a whole lot of other kinds of sex you could have that wouldn't be painful and would be fun for both of you. if it remains a problem you can't solve, get creative. 3. ditto on the endo.

 

[Melissa3]

I know for sure I don't have Endo, I had blood tests and an ultrasound. The doctor labelled me as IBS but the only other disease where I have symptoms of is Gallbladder disease although the ultrasound showed nothing outa the ordinary with it. and "life and death situation" is an expression more then a statement. As someone getting married soon that is a bigger worry then people single or on their 10th wedding anniversary, don't ya think?

 

[leahmonahan]

Allpainnogain,I have to wonder how understanding your fiance really is about what you are going through. You say that you are putting him first, but in my opinion you need to be in a mutual relationship --not one that is so one-sided that the person in unbearable pain is anxious about not being able to provide pleasure to the other one. Shouldn't HE be trying to help YOU feel more comfortable? You need to stick up for yourself.Also, if you have not done so already, you need to educate your fiance about IBS. It may help to take him with you to your next doctor's appointment so that he hears it from a professional and takes it seriously. My husband (we just got married 4 months ago) had a major breakthrough when we went to a nutrition store and he witnessed me discussing my IBS with a store clerk. He later told me that he had a whole new appreciation for what I was going through after he heard the store clerk question me on various symptoms. That was the first time he realized that there were other people out there going through the same thing. It wasn't just all in my head.Laylo

 

[loulou]

Allpainnogain - If you'll notice it's only women questioning your life or death attitude towards your sex problem. I'll bet more men wish they could a female who thinks the way you do about sex!Good Luck

 

[Bewitched]

I too find sex painful.I am very small down there and it can be painful if my boyfriend is not gentle.I barely have a sex life because i am never in the mood.Eather i'm cramping or i'm too tired since the cramping contractions in my colon make me feel so worn out.I used to ignore my needs and be at his beck and call and i always paid the price.You have to look out for yourself first and then be there for him completely.After all,if your not enjoying yourself,your really cheating the both of you out of what could be a better experience.Have you taken any pain meds like Levbid or Librax?Although, they can kill the sex drive too.If you can find ways to relax the muscles down there and not tense up,it will hurt a lot less.Sometimes all i need is a small glass of wine as long as i don't take it on top of any meds.Take care sweetie!!!

 

[KLG]

When my IBS is bad sex is painful. It isn't all the time. Sometimes rather than be enjoyable...it feels as though he's tearing my insides out. There are some positions that make the pain worse from my experience so perhaps you can find one that works better for you.

 

[kac123]

Blood test and an ultrasound i don't think diagnose endo -- if i'm not mistaken the only way to know for sure is through a lap procedure. I"m not trying to diagnose, just putting that out there. If its a situation where sex hurts all the time regardless of position you may want a second opinion. And as someone who is also engaged, I can understand your frustration with not being able and willing all the time. The way i dealt with it was by speaking with my fiance about it as openly as humanly possible and told him that there are times that i just can't deal with anything physical because i feel that awful. Once i did that he understood and became overly understanding. He told me that all i have to do is tell him how i'm feeling and if sex is out of the picture maybe then we could find less traditional means of dealing with urges. Its worked really well for us (we've been dating three years and i've had the IBS for a little over 2 years). Good luck with everything and good luck with your wedding. I"m in the midst of planning and wishing that i was still able to drink a little to help me get thru some of it!

-Kac

 

[CW5]

My partner and I both have IBS.We both understand each others needs and if one is having an attack the other makes a cup of anise tea/peppermint to calm their symptoms. The special remedy works well. If we feel better then maybe we'll try. But its no use pleasing someone else when your feeling miserable and in pain. Its supposed to be a mutual experience, not one sided. But then men prowess is greater. They say that ground caraway can calm the sexual needs of a man or maybe he should fast instead....just don't replace any food in the house when its ur turn.