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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
hello. after spending some time hiding away from the worldbecause i smell like fart all the time, i need to go back into theworkforce. the mental and emotional risk is that i won't be able to handle the mean comments people make about the smell.i'd like to work somewhere i can offend the least amount of peopleand in turn have the least amount of people offending me.any suggestions? where do you fellow LGers work?
 

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I hear ya, i smell like a fart or #### and have just gotten a job atChuck E. Cheese, haha. Kids are sooo nice. I think maybe a kennel? I was looking into that. I'm planning on becoming an accountant, CPA so i can work by myself. Either way good luck. Also, with getting emotionally,..drained I guess is the right word, when having to deal with morons..maybe you should see a psychologist, since I've been seeing mine I've been able to cope with demenaing comments and insults for hours before crumbling. I think you're Very brave and applaud you for at least making the effort to face people. Screw them, you're a better person.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks for your reply, Steph. I appreciate the encouragement. I am seeing a psychologist who is helping me regain the courage that depression took away from me. This means facing my LG head on instead of pretending it's going to magically go away some day. When I was a kid, I convinced myself it would go away when I came an adult--that I'd grow out of it. Working from home might be the answer for me. I'll look into careers in that direction.
 

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You could consider home day care. You would be comfortable in your own home and surrounded by smelly diapers anyway so who would know?(And I know some women that do home daycare and they make very good money, tax free)
 

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I smell like a ###### for over 10 years now and are currently having urine problems... In them years ive worked so many jobs.. mainly due to the fact that companys think that i smell like this they dont need to treat me the way they treat others.. Or theyll pay me less than the rest when the jobs are equal.. Alot of discrimination.. Longest job i had was for 5 years at a comsumer store in a garage area during that time they use to tell me i was getting promoted but everytime the high lvl guys would come to interview me they wouldnt take me because they held there noes all the time..When searching for a job unfortunetly in our issues. Is not to be straight forward about your issues... Take all the extra steps that u can to eliminate the odor as much as possible before interview.. Then once in work 20 times harder than there hardest worker... It usually works for me.. Or try to find a job that you work by yourself.However usually ull need to have some specialty in the area .. Ive tried being honest to employers with terrible results in the interview process.. However u may have better luck Oh and I use to be very intense some called mean It works for working with younger crowd usually because theyll only talk quietly behind your back instead of insulting to your face.. However my new position im working with middle to late age woman.. This position Im being extremely polite and helping with anything that involves straining for them.. This is working somewhat to some people although ive heard many.. But being a guy there is really nothing i can do when it comes to middle to late age woman saying things other than hiding all emotions when im at work however i doubt its gonna last goodluck unfortunately many people in this world like me can not live without a paycheck.. I do not have anyone that will support me or is willing to help out... Also everymorning before work i stay in my car and get mentally ready to cover anything that would be said.. It works atleast for me .... I put a brick,steel,concrete,rebar,fiberglass,carbonfile,aluminum,titanium,copper was in front of me so that i can keep doing it for 40 hours a week..GOODLUCK AGAIN
 

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I hear you, it is hard! I used to go home and just fall into a deep depression. The only thing keeping me going was my duty to keep my son doing well, and to the heck with everything else (would use stronger words here, but the board blanks those out). These days I'm harder, much harder, and fortunately not suffering as intensely as before, I just figure that people will be mean, and I've just got to deal. I figure the best I can do is not be an easy victim, which is what the meaner people are looking for, I'll hold myself up as a human deserving of the niceties that most everyone expects, and occasionally bring someone up hard to draw the lines of what is unacceptable. Someone must gather the evidence that it's a real problem, and I hope to do that (currently there's no textbook for med students that even goes into this as it's not a well researched subject). Weirdly I'm quiet and don't make waves most of the time, but I can be very drastic at times, and what I'm doing now is drastic (not going into that now).With most other medical conditions, people aren't nasty about it. Got diabetes? A heart problem? Asthma? People are sympathetic. But not with this. People show disbelief, derision, contempt, etc. The important thing to remember is that none of us chose this, just as no one chose to have asthma, so we do not deserve the meanness. You've got to work hard, show you are in no other way deserving of contempt, and then bring them up hard. It's like what the blacks did in the 1950s, or the gays in the 1980s, but even harder since we're even further in the minority.I hope to move to online teaching, then computer programming, all from home, so I don't have to deal with the majority of unthinking morons.
 

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I hear you, it is hard! I used to go home and just fall into a deep depression. The only thing keeping me going was my duty to keep my son doing well, and to the heck with everything else (would use stronger words here, but the board blanks those out). These days I'm harder, much harder, and fortunately not suffering as intensely as before, I just figure that people will be mean, and I've just got to deal. I figure the best I can do is not be an easy victim, which is what the meaner people are looking for, I'll hold myself up as a human deserving of the niceties that most everyone expects, and occasionally bring someone up hard to draw the lines of what is unacceptable. Someone must gather the evidence that it's a real problem, and I hope to do that (currently there's no textbook for med students that even goes into this as it's not a well researched subject). Weirdly I'm quiet and don't make waves most of the time, but I can be very drastic at times, and what I'm doing now is drastic (not going into that now).With most other medical conditions, people aren't nasty about it. Got diabetes? A heart problem? Asthma? People are sympathetic. But not with this. People show disbelief, derision, contempt, etc. The important thing to remember is that none of us chose this, just as no one chose to have asthma, so we do not deserve the meanness. You've got to work hard, show you are in no other way deserving of contempt, and then bring them up hard. It's like what the blacks did in the 1950s, or the gays in the 1980s, but even harder since we're even further in the minority.I hope to move to online teaching, then computer programming, all from home, so I don't have to deal with the majority of unthinking morons.
Completely off-topic, but Constinker, you want to teach programming? Awesome...just finishing my Associates in Comp. Sci. What language do you "succeed" in (favorite/best)?Anyways, I lucked out BIG TIME with my current employment. My first job was a Taco Bell where my smell blended in with the food (lol) so it wasn't horrible. I really treated people with great respect (the customers) and even had some people try to tip me (not allowed to accept nor did I want to)! Thankfully, since they were in their cars, they couldn't smell me, otherwise I'm sure they wouldn't have been so kind. Anywho, with my outlook looking bleak at best, I got a job at a major University working under two programmers who not only treat me with a lot of respect (despite my smell / lack of confidence), treat me to lunch, and help me with questions about life/programming, but also motivated me to go to college and get a degree. Once I finish my Associate's, I'm going for my Bachelor's and then into the work force.
 

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Anywho, with my outlook looking bleak at best, I got a job at a major University working under two programmers who not only treat me with a lot of respect (despite my smell / lack of confidence), treat me to lunch, and help me with questions about life/programming, but also motivated me to go to college and get a degree. Once I finish my Associate's, I'm going for my Bachelor's and then into the work force.
Being accepted, comfortable and at ease is all that we ask for.That's brilliant TWC.Getting an education is the best thing you can do to carry you through life.
 

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Completely off-topic, but Constinker, you want to teach programming? Awesome...just finishing my Associates in Comp. Sci. What language do you "succeed" in (favorite/best)?
Studying Objective-C, cause I'm a Mac fanboy. I'm still a beginner though.And Common Response! Yes, that sums up every one of our hopes! We want to be accepted or even outcasted based on who we are, not our medical condition.
 

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I work in an open office area. Having to pass 8 people when I get up from my cubicle, 3 hour commutes a day. I'm contstantly in the line of fire of reactions and comments. The most I can do is stay at my cubicle for as long as possible until my waste system says, "Get the hell up!" And colleague who dont care for me _ the most competitive ones - are aware that im conscious about it. So almost everytime i pass by the sniff very loudly our whistle or grunt. I can avoid it while commuting literally using a see no evil hear no evil method - music in my ears and my eyes in a book, newspaper or phone for the entire duration. Perhaps I can try that when passing by people at work...to keep my headphones on since they're allowed. But I do have my moments when I'm like F*ck Everybody, you're just gonna have to deal while I out perform your *ss. But unfortunately these days are not frequent enough. People are extremely insensitive. ANd I admit. Forgive me but on really bad days, I curse at them in my head thinking, "If you were to deal with this for just one year you'd be too weak and end yourself." I know thats harsh, but its madness and impossible living through the hell they give us whether intentionally or unintentionally. And I dont think that the sufferer who ends their life is weak for it is extremely hard...but I pray for them and their families.AT THE END OF THE DAY WE ALL SHOULD BE PROUD THAT WE'VE BEEN STRONG ENOUGH TO KEEP LIVING. TO KEEP DEALING. TO KEEP LOVING OURSELVES AND IGNORING THE IGNORANT. PEOPLE/THE PUBLIC MAKES THIS 3 TIMES HARDER TO DEAL THAN IT ALREADY IS AND EVERY SECOND WE MANAGE A SMILE OR LAUGH OR LIVE, SHOW HOW MUCH STRONGER WE ARE THAN THE AVERAGE PERSON ESPECIALLY THESE MORONIC JERKS WHO TORTURE US. PLEASE DO NOT LET THIS DISEASE OR THE PUBLIC CONSEQUENCES BE THE END OF YOU. Its been ten years for me and I'll continue to fight.
 

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People are extremely insensitive. ANd I admit. Forgive me but on really bad days, I curse at them in my head thinking, "If you were to deal with this for just one year you'd be too weak and end yourself." I know thats harsh, but its madness and impossible living through the hell they give us whether intentionally or unintentionally.
Agreed.Trapped in our situations, it's our thoughts which help us to keep sane and reduce the stress.On my journey, there were many very smug types who turned their back, sending me to the depths of humiliation.I would fantasize that with a handshake I could pass my condition onto one of these heartless types.I'd then picture myself observing them living with this curse which I had suffered, and experiencing what I had gone through.Unfortunately peoples responses in many cases are hard wired.These days I view responses neutrally, and focus on being as fresh as possible allowing me to minimize encounters.
 

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I can empathize with you. Im looking for a job at the moment, in catering, as i am on a college course on the subject. I've wondered about working from home, but i dont like the idea, i just want to be a chef. Its so hard, especially to build up the confidence to go out there and look for a job. Last week i had an interview at a small kitchen at my local golf club, which went well and they asked me back for a trial day in the kitchen. I worked there for a day and thought it went well, but have not had a call back and cant help but think that its due to the LG. Im close to giving up entirely. Just had to get that off my chest.
 

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Agreed.Trapped in our situations, it's our thoughts which help us to keep sane and reduce the stress.On my journey, there were many very smug types who turned their back, sending me to the depths of humiliation.I would fantasize that with a handshake I could pass my condition onto one of these heartless types.I'd then picture myself observing them living with this curse which I had suffered, and experiencing what I had gone through.Unfortunately peoples responses in many cases are hard wired.These days I view responses neutrally, and focus on being as fresh as possible allowing me to minimize encounters.
You look at the responses as neutral. But HOW? How. Every day is a new day and the responses hit me as if its the first. Please share how.
 

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I can empathize with you. Im looking for a job at the moment, in catering, as i am on a college course on the subject. I've wondered about working from home, but i dont like the idea, i just want to be a chef. Its so hard, especially to build up the confidence to go out there and look for a job. Last week i had an interview at a small kitchen at my local golf club, which went well and they asked me back for a trial day in the kitchen. I worked there for a day and thought it went well, but have not had a call back and cant help but think that its due to the LG. Im close to giving up entirely. Just had to get that off my chest.
Dont give up. I greatly admire your effort to follow through with the interview and the trial. I hope that you do get a call back, but if otherwise, I'd call to ask. YOu went beyond the first step and thats balls living with our condition. So Congrat so far.
 

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You look at the responses as neutral. But HOW? How. Every day is a new day and the responses hit me as if its the first. Please share how.
It takes time and if you can stick to the practice will liberate you.I use Mindfulness or Self Observation.You begin by visualizing yourself slightly above and behind your head.The practice is to observe yourself, your thoughts, your body, your interactions with others, and your feelings.The trick is that when your mind wonders, don't give up, but gently come back to your mindfulness.Over time you'll be able to observe yourself more and more.Observe yourself in an FBO encounter.When you notice someone detecting your symptom and reacting negatively to you: Observe your thoughts: Look for thoughts of dread, wanting to shrink away & die, thoughts of humiliation, thoughts of your career suffering.Observe your body: Look for any muscular tightening, change of breathe, palpitations and other changes.Encounters may trigger adrenalin and result in a physical rush and tension.Most such triggers will only last for up to 3 minutes.Our problem is that the initial encounter/thought will lead to a chain of thoughts lasting for hours or even days.A chain of thoughts,each triggering another shot of adrenalin will leave you in a continuous heightened anxiety state.This becomes your new natural state.Your initial condition/symptoms, most likely due to genetic and environmental factors is now made worse through an anxiety loop.Mindfulness allows you to observe the initial thought and adrenalin trigger.By observing it you will notice it will be gone within 3 minutes.You're also able to observe your tendency towards a chain of thoughts.Break this chain.Observe your initial thought, and its affect on your body and observe it disappear.You can do the same with your fears.Observe the fear of running the gauntlet on public transport.Observe the ill treatment from your work colleagues.Observe the fear and anxiety within you which they arouse.You'll notice that your fear will soon disappear.Allowing a chain of thoughts will cause it to grow and grow until it is overwhelming.The only difference between observing it for the three minutes and allowing it to grow is your mind.There is another practice which will help you to improve your mindfulness concentration and this can be done during your daily commute.Rather than sitting there visualizing what humiliation this day will bring you can do the following:Sit comfortably upright and at one with gravity.Loosen all your muscles and relax them.Gently close your eyes and focus on your breathe.Watch your breathe rising and falling, in and out, but don't control it.You will soon notice that every breathe is unique.No two breathes are the same.Soon you'll notice that your mind wondered and you were daydreaming.Don't punish yourself,this is normal.Gently refocus back to the breathe, but don't control it.Do this daily and you will arrive at work much more relaxed.If you have odor, stressing about it won't reduce it.In fact stressing will worsen it by diverting blood from the gut and to the muscular system.We will all have bad days, but dwelling on it is like creating your own little hell.No one knows what is in your mind.Rather than worrying, observe the serene beauty which lies within.It is your true nature and will give you sanctuary.Like learning to play a guitar, this practice will take time.Practice and the rewards will be infinite.You will have many times to work on your condition, by visiting doctors, networking with others and experimenting with options.Apart from presenting yourself as best you can, you have no control over others.Let them play there silly games.Observe these games neutrally with you mindfulness.You will soon realize they can't kill you and the feeling will subside.You will regain the upper hand as they will no longer be able to control you.
 

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I work in a hospital. Two in fact. At either place, I encounter the same reactions you guys do. Sometimes I want to say something but I never do. Not for fear of the actual outbursts but because I know me. I know I wash, keep my clothes clean do the best I can to live my life. They mean nothing in the grand scheme of things.I use to run around worried, trying crazy things to prevent them from having to deal with me. That was until I heard myself talking suicidal.That put the brakes on everything. I have kids at home. I am a great friend and family member. I was no longer going to let them make me depressed. The smell did that all by itself. The smell hurt me worst when I couldn't smell it and everyone else did.I became aggressive. Not to the point I will fight, but I did not let them know that. I would address whispers and match looks with venomous ones of my own. The silence was awesome!!! I felt free. I know this may not be suitable when you are having first encounters but to deal with the people "who have no flippin idea" how we live, it is liberating.I can be certain the conversations still go on but they are behind my back. If you are talking about me there then it means nothing to me.I make regular statements when I think they are trying to get me in that space again, such as, "I come here for my check and I have a life outside of here". "I really could careless what people think about me unless they are feeding my kids and paying a few bills".There are times, I thought of confiding in someone so they would know, but then I thought about the fact that I have a right to privacy although the smell is quite public. LOL!!! Know you guys are not the smell!!!! You are a person. You deserve relationships, love, respect and a JOB like everyone else. KEEP MOVING!!! LIFE WILL! LEAD YOURS!!
 

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Simon....I know that defeated feeling you have all too well. You are not your smell. You are right about the friends. I look at it as process of elimination. The ones that matter will be right there. I am sorry that you felt the need to end it. I felt that also but realised that is not who I am or ever hoped to become. You spent time, money and effort to be in the profession you're in. Education and your abilities to do your job should not be so easily given away. This world can be an ugly place and has quite a few ugly people in it, but do not let it consume you. Good days and bad days, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!
 
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