I apologise in advance for the long post... but here goes.I am 20 with IBS-d. This time last year I was in hospital and doing so badly. But with a combination of pantoprazole, amiptriptyline, fybogel, loperamide and a gluten, dairy, egg and yeast free diet I finally felt like some version of normality was in reaching distance.To cut a long story short, I now have to change my contraceptive pill [which is very important factor in the oh so delicate balance of doing ok] because I have an increased risk of stroke.Finding this out has left me feeling as though I am clinging onto my sanity by a thread. Just when I find a balance that works for me and start to build back up my broken confidence, the rug is ripped out from under my feet and I will have to go back through months, years of messing around with new drugs and different combinations to be able to participate in life. I do believe that a positive attidue is helpful, but right now I don't feel as though I have enough mental strength to get me through. I suffer from anxiety and depression and also have obssessive compulsive disorder. I have a history of self harm and have begun to self harm again, but hide it from my boyfriend and family. I am frightened of what I will become, especially given that at this point, my physical problems are still manageable. I know that there must be a way out of this darkness, and that I want to choose life. I know I need to approach a doctor and seek help, but I don't know how to sit across from a stranger and tell them that I feel broken into a million pieces and don't know how to stick myself back togther for another battle. I see the irony of being able to tell all you folks, but I feel like here, people understand and don't judge.I am desperate to hear of ways people managed to move forward with anxiety, depression, OCD or self harm. I have tried hypnotherapy with some success but nothing else.Thank you, pepito x